It’s kind of fitting that my new site would launch at my 100th blogisode. I thought about what the writers of a sit-com would do when their series hit 100 episodes, and decided that I, too, would do a cheesy clips “show” for my first milestone entry. This week’s Top 10 Tuesday lists some of my favourite blog posts since Psycho Lady Hockey was born back in January 2009! So, relive the magic of some of my older misadventures or discover them for the first time! It’s a celebration! Enjoy yourself! Top Photo: This is me as a two year old. I was born a Psycho Lady, and I’ll die a Psycho Lady! Yeah, that’s a beer in my hand.
10. Angry hockey wives and my aversion to Louis Vuitton.
Date: January 30, 2009
Highlight: Hockey wives and girlfriends (WAGs) are at the root of the negative publicity surrounding hockey players. We all know that the players never have the chance to see the ugly/real side of their WAG’s personality, or at least we hope they don’t, because if they do, well, what does that say about them!? For some reason these women feel the need to spend their time wandering around the arena harassing paying customers that are there to support their pay cheques…I mean husbands. I wonder what the head honchos of the National league clubs would have to say to that bit of truth. Perhaps, in the interest of customer service, they’d lock the doors to the wives lounge and keep the beasts in their cage until the games are over. Read More.
9. Hockey Fan or Puck Bunny? The answer is skin deep.
Date: February 3, 2009
Highlight: One of the first problematic variables in deciphering this equation is the fact that a black and white definition of ‘puck bunny’ just doesn’t exist. To the vast majority of society, a puck bunny is simply a girl who is not interested in the game of hockey, but follows it, regardless, for less admirable reasons. The assumption is not necessarily that this puck bunny gets involved with the players, but that she does not have the capacity to understand sports and is, thus, at the arena because she either A)wants to look like she knows sports to be more appealing to men, or B) thinks the players are cute. It is a commonly held sexist viewpoint that women don’t know sports. “Don’t know” meaning “can’t know.” I don’t know how many times men have tried to talk over my head about sports to my male companions who were completely sports illiterate. It is infuriating! I’m also sure part of this misogyny is rooted in jealousy that women have the chance to experience hockey players on a more intimate level. Of course, then there are those that assume ‘puck bunny’ is the girl that “gets with” the players, or, in the very least, tries. Read More.
8. Since when did, “I play hockey” become a pick up line?
Date: February 12, 2009
Highlight: The funny thing about this guy was that it seemed like he had this whole thing rehearsed with one of his wingmen. At one point the second guy chimed in with, “You were smarter than I was (for getting a scholarship), I shouldn’t have played in the O.” (OHL players cannot play in the NCAA). OK, I don’t even know where to begin with this self proclaimed major junior hockey star. The wingman can only be described as the nonthreatening type – a lover of poetry with a passion for crash diets, puppies, and MTV reality dramas. There was no way! There was just no way! Read More.
7. This is why you don’t get into cars with strange boys.
Date: February 13, 2009
Highlight: From the back seat of the only car I have ever seen dirtier than mine, this story began to play back in my mind over and over and over again. I wasn’t worried so much about prison; my major concern was the status of my passport! What would I, the psycho hockey addict, do if I couldn’t cross the border on a biweekly basis? I wouldn’t even be able to go to hockey games in Buffalo! I’d be limited to six regular season Flyers games a year! That’s just unacceptable. I would die a thousand slow painful deaths! I started examining the handles on the door of the car trying to formulate some type of escape tactic, but then the vehicle came to a halt and we were home safe. Well safe enough. I still had to deal with the two infants. Read More.
6. Women love hockey fights? No kidding (sarcasm).
Date: February 26, 2009
Highlight: It seems the hockey fan majority, the men, seem to think that the rough stuff can only be fully appreciated by a y-chromosome and excessive amounts of Testosterone. I remember back in my WWE days, grades seven through nine, I could not understand why it was the guys in my class that liked wrestling. Let’s see, wrestling entails a bunch of big men, greased up, jumping on each other while wearing speedos…hmm. Can someone please tell me what the guys are getting out of that? It’s the same thing with UFC, though I have to admit there is nothing more unattractive than two men kicking each other (unless, of course, it’s Chuck Norris delivering a clean round house to the face!). So, when a bunch of hockey stars start sweating, and shoving, and punching with chests heaving, is it really that surprising that the women are the first ones to jump out of their seats, panties in fist? Read More.
5. The end is nigh: Boston II (Day 1)
Date: March 8, 2009
Highlight: Everything that could have gone wrong on my way to Boston on Monday did go wrong. Murphy’s Law. To start off the day I was fully searched at the border – twice! I was searched on misogynistic grounds that women A) can’t be sports fans, B) can’t be self-reliant, and C) can’t do things without a man. You can imagine how hard it was for me to hold my tongue and be pleasant while they attempted to find the drugs I had smuggled in the car. Apparently, I can’t have a life if I don’t have a boyfriend, that’s nice. Should I join a convent? P.S. US Border Security, nice job profiling. I’ve never even smoked a cigarette in my life! I had forgotten there were about seven or eight copies of my book in the trunk of the car. Yeah, women don’t understand/like sports, hmmm? A bunch of young border guys started coming in the room, and saying “hiiiiiiiii” with knowing, 15 year old, hard-on smiles – did you enjoy riffling through my panties? Read More.
4.Everybody gets one: Flames @ Pens
Date: April 28, 2009
Highlight: At the bar some of the Penguins were celebrating their victory over Calgary. At this point the alcohol had really hit me. After my trip to Anaheim I was not exactly man-friendly, specifically hockey player man- friendly, and the alcohol left me unable to hide this fact. Unfortunately, I took my aggression out on one of the Penguins. I kept referring to him as “teenstache;” to his face…A LOT. “Shut up, teenstache!” “Nobody cares, teenstache! “Shhh, teenstache!” Please consider that during the entire spectacle I was wearing a Calgary Flames cowgirl hat! Read More.
3. Offseason is dating season!
Date: August 16, 2009
Highlight: We were being seated in a backyard patio, so we didn’t see who our waitress was until it was too late – too late for him that is haha! Our waitress comes over and, to my surprise, they know each other. He didn’t look impressed, but he was being civil. So, we order our dessert and beverages and she takes off. Naturally, I had to ask him what that was all about. He says, “She was one of the puck bunnies back in [OHL team city]. *lowers voice* You know, one of the baaaad ones.” I started laughing and told him we could go somewhere else if he was uncomfortable. He didn’t want to go and began regaling me with tales of the girl’s (and her friend’s – he claimed that the bad puck bunnies always travel in twos) extra-curricular activities…if you catch my drift. He only interrupted himself every so often to lie to me and tell me that TSN just announced that they traded my Flyers crush to the Kings to piss me off. Apparently, it’s unpatriotic of me not to follow a Canadian team – you can probably guess where he plays (or played at the time). Read More.
2. Hockey Anecdote #45634758: How my mom found out I went to the 2009 IIHF World Championship.
Date: September 14, 2009
Highlight: For months nobody suspected a thing, until a careless mistake let the cat out of the bag…literally. I was visiting my parents in Waterloo (a.k.a RIM/Blackberry/Balsillie Mecca for those of you engrossed in the Phoenix drama), when a receipt from Zurich fell out of my purse. That’s right, I don’t clean out my purse. I didn’t notice that this happened, and went to bed for the night. The next morning my Mom was set on attack mode. Read More.
1. Down the Rabbit Hole (2004) Quiz: What Type of Puck Bunny Are You?
Date: July 7, 2009
Highlight: As bonus material, I thought it would be fun to include a quiz assessing the level of someone’s puck-bunnyism. After reading the content of my book, do you suspect that you may be a puck bunny? Have you noticed a budding cottontail on your backside? If you have any suspicions that you are a puck bunny, then you need to enlighten yourself and figure out which type you are. I have constructed a series of questions to determine what type of puck bunny you may be. So, answer honestly and enjoy. Read More.