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Tag: Toronto Marlies

Monday, January 2nd, 2012

The AHL Comeback: Photo blunders abound with the Toronto Marlies.

Toronto, ON It seems like a million years ago, but this Psycho Lady made her first foray into the American Hockey League, as I’m sure many others did, during the 2004-05 NHL Lockout that devastated hockey addicts near and far. Back then the Toronto Marlies didn’t exist. The Leafs’ farm team was flourishing in St. John’s, Newfoundland, and were an integral part of the community out there.

Although the NHL Lockout was an amazing year for AHL hockey, I can only imagine that the spectacular season, loaded with NHL talent, was bittersweet for St. John’s superfans, as they knew going in that it was the end of the line for their beloved Baby Leafs. For ravenous hockey fans such as I, however, the news that Toronto would once again have an AHL team was a time of celebration. I didn’t even have to think twice about putting down a deposit on season tickets when I was approached by a fresh faced sales person just before the gates opened for a special St. John’s Maple Leafs vs. Hamilton Bulldogs extravaganza at the Air Canada Centre.

Fast track to life after the big move from Newfoundland, and Toronto hockey fans would be put under the microscope for failing to embrace the Marlies as they had been embraced in St. John’s. “Toronto isn’t a hockey town, it’s a Leafs town.” I for one find such statements offensive. Just because the average Joe isn’t willing to blow an ungodly amount of money on “the next best thing” doesn’t have anything to do with whether he is a hockey fan or not. And I know from experience that most of you AHL fans out there are not paying nearly $50 a pop to sit in the first 8 rows of your favourite minor league rink. I also don’t think I need to remind you that, especially in Toronto, most hockey fans have never actually been to a live game.

Anyway… my rant has taken me off course a bit, so I will just say that I’m beside myself with glee that AHL hockey has once again been restore to St. John’s, and I feel very fortunate to have been able to see the new club play while on my brief hockey vacation from Japan these past few days. The game between Old St. John’s and New St. John’s did not disappoint. Those last few minutes of the game were especially epic. There was one problem, however, and that was my camera. As you can see from my standard game day shot, we struggled to get the camera to focus. All pictures came out blurry or dark, and unlike SOME people I don’t tend to purposely try to overexpose my pictures like I have something to hide… ahem, so I basically just gave up on the photo thing. There must have been something weird about the lighting in Ricoh Coliseum that didn’t agree with my cheap ass camera.

Luckily, my friend had a camera on his phone (I don’t have a North American phone currently), so we were able to get some workable photos at the expense of Mr. Photo Happy himself, Mike Zigomanis. I have to use this opportunity to make another comment on that whole dick pic scandal once again. OK first of all it’s pretty sad that major Toronto media is even covering this story to begin with, but it’s even sadder that it has taken them MONTHS to actually catch up to it at all. That being said, the bullshit statements they release on the matter actually blow my mind.

“Of course the pictures aren’t of him. He’d obviously own up to it if they were because that’s the kind of guy he is.” Uhhh… really?! I don’t care if you’re Jim Carrey in Liar Liar. No one would “own up” to leaked naked photos of themselves if their face wasn’t in the pictures to begin with. Come on. I mean Jiri Tlusty didn’t really have a choice as his mug was in those pictures, but even so, I’m surprised he didn’t make more of an effort to try to make a case for photoshopping. Of course Zigomanis is going to deny those photos, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t photos of him.

Once again, I obviously can’t comment one way or the other, or confirm the allegations for either side of this “are they or aren’t they?” debate, but I can leave you with some food for thought. Like I said in my original write up on the topic, I can’t imagine who these girls are that are malicious enough to actually try to embarrass someone like this. But it is that very malicious intention that makes the strongest argument in support of the authenticity of those photos. I think that if someone was mean enough to want to post naked pictures of someone online, then they are obviously doing it with the intention of embarrassing their victim. So, that can only work in two ways. 1) They actually had naked photos of the person, and simply uploaded them to a website, or 2) they didn’t have naked photos of the person, so they went and found the most embarrassing random photos (read: small penis pictures) out there, and uploaded them to a website under the name of the victim. And, well, ladies and gentlemen, have you SEEN the Zigomanis dick pics??!?! There’s nothing embarrassing about those, eh, girls? Therefore, if you want my opinion, that can only mean ONE thing… ;) Quick! Someone give this guy my phone number!! ;) ;) ;)

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Monday, April 11th, 2011

The 4-Some: The fall of the booty shorts!

St. Catharines, Toronto, Oshawa, ON Wow… Look at me making a road blog mid series. I’m starting to get the hang of this again! Take that, Korea! P.S. Writing on a Mac is not only a pain in the ass, but it’s also frightening! I grow more and more terrified with each and every sentence I type! Anyway, Thursday the second round of the OHL playoffs began. My newly adopted love children, the Niagara IceDogs, were set to face off against the big, bad, Oshawa Generals. You might remember the Oshawa Generals from my first ever trip to see the IceDogs play last season in that epic game where the barn had a massive power outage. You’d probably also remember the picture I took of the equally epic sign that two ‘Shaw based pucks had MacGyvered prior to face off, “I want a Gen in my underwear.” But let’s not dwell on the past…

Niagara quickly made away with the Gens in Game 1, which required me to hunt the Oshawa fan bus down on my way home and harass them with horns blasting and “rally towels” flying out the passenger side window. Not unlike the Charlestown Chiefs’ booster club, but, you know, way more menacing. It should also be noted that Blackstreet’s No Diggity was featured on the iPod to adequately set the mood for these unsavoury shenanigans.

However, the good times wouldn’t last, and the Generals came back with a vengeance in Game 2. I had a bad feeling about that game. All during the first round, I limited myself to wearing lucky booty shorts to each and every game. Obviously, I wash my underwear! They are considered lucky if I, you know, got lucky in them. Come on, we all have a pair of go-to panties, ladies! My game winners just happened to be leopard print! Anyway, like a good girl I wore my leopard booty shorts to Game 1, but for Game 2 I brought in a questionable pair. See, this particular pair of booty shorts is only lucky depending on how I tell the story, and what details I neglect to mention while telling it. I had a bad feeling about Game 2 because of my undergarment selection, and sure enough the IceDogs fell 6-4 to Oshawa with a little help from the refs as well.

The game wasn’t a total loss, though. The highlight for me was molesting Tim Billingsley’s playoff beard. No facial hair binoculars needed with this one! He’s the Scott Niedermayer of OHL playoff beards, and a 2008 pick of the Phoenix Coyotes – no big deal. Lucky for me, he’s been serving a ten game suspension, so I’ve been able to monitor his growth on a game by game basis. I’m just so proud! Whatever will I do when he returns to action in Game 4?! The other highlight of the game was when I came across a couple wearing Gens jersey, both bearing the number 69, and the name Hummer. OK… Yes, this is funny, but this is a junior hockey environment; meaning the majority of people in the stands are kids and grandmas! Think of the children! “Grandma… look at his shirt! I want it! I WANT IT! I WANT A HUMMER, GRANDMA! GIMME A HUMMER!”

The other two games in my four-some weekend were both Marlies games, so, you know, minor league. The first game was the same day as Game 2 in Oshawa, so I felt like a hot shot pulling a double header like a Canadian bad ass. Sadly, some other IceDogs fans were also at Ricoh to show me up! They were also pulling the double header like it was no big deal! Phhh! The Marlies had a strong finish to their season, closing out the weekend with 6-5 and 6-0 victories over Rochester and Abbotsford respectively.

I also developed a rather serious infatuation with Selleck of the Rochester Americans. The dance began during the warm ups where the cockiness of his glide, and the spikiness of his mohawk induced legitimate tingling downtown. I find skating hot, I don’t know why, and I can’t help it! I could never get involved with a player that can’t skate! I’m sorry, but good skating is a prerequisite. I have an eye for talent, you know! Anyway, Mr. Selleck skates like some sort of sea monster on the prowl. Trust me it’s spicy! I could barely stand it.

Another random fact: I had a run in with Tim Brent at Ricoh Coliseum. History repeats itself it seems. I used to run into him at Leafs games all the time back when he played for St. Mike’s… many years ago. When we were both young. *Heavy sigh*

My friend also informed me that the Rogers cameramen were using my rack as the focal point to “refocus” the cameras throughout the game. I guess the girls were pretty out there during the Saturday game. I feel violated. Luckily, the Marlies season ended on Sunday, so I won’t have to worry about being exploited until October. I am pretty sad that both the Leafs and the Marlies didn’t make the postseason this year, but on the bright side, I have two tickets for the upcoming Jays/Yankees series, so I feel pretty good about that.

Top Photo: The only pic I took all weekend. Tim Billingsley’s playoff beard as of Round 2, Game 2. Bow down before its greatness. Take it, Sidney Crosby!

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Thursday, April 7th, 2011

Rangers, and Majors, and IceDogs – Oh my!

And we’re back! Sorry for the delay. I’ve been having technical difficulties with the computer situation. Yeah…I dropped my laptop. Wanna fight about it? Luckily, I’ll be good to go on my new Mac tomorrow. P.S. Setting that thing up has become my life! So, right now I’ll try to get you up to speed on some of the games I was too lazy to write about before and after my epic visit to Carolina. Side note: speaking of Carolina, I just wanted to say that I neglected to mention one detail in my game day post that I really wanted to note. As you can see by the pictures, we were sitting behind the Columbus bench, but our tickets were actually behind the Carolina bench. Being the nice person that I am, I offered to switch seats with some Canes fans that were sitting up close for the first time. I figured they should experience the view from their own bench, and I would make the sacrifice to sit behind the Blue Jackets tee hee. My selflessness knows no bounds…obviously WINK.

Anyway, many weeks ago now, I was back at the Kitchener Aud for what was to be a Majors double header weekend. Game day took me back to that hugely uncomfortable loss of virginity incident, which I have retold again and again, but still doesn’t seem to get old. After Mr. One-Timer had chosen to take a vow of silence for three months after his no-star performance, the Majors were the first team to roll into town. Traditionally Majors/Rangers match ups were must-see games because I had considered both teams to be my home teams. Due to the timing of this vital game, and the fact that the tickets were already acquired, I found myself back at the Aud a mere four days after my “loss of innocence” for the most uncomfortable game of my life. It’s pretty safe to assume that if the Majors hadn’t been the team to hit the ice at the Aud all those years ago, then I probably wouldn’t have gone to another Rangers game again. Sometimes I wonder how that would have affected my Psycho adventures around the NHL. Perhaps I’d be a normal 25 year old woman today, if the Rangers faced off against the Knights or Spitfires that night instead – steady job, steady boyfriend, proper sleep and eating habits, vast shoe collection *shudders.* No thanks.

Just like with my panty selection for that bust of a cherry popper extravaganza, I was sporting Majors colours to this particular game as well. I can only assume that was the reason the Majors came from behind to win it. It was an outstanding game with only one incident of me threatening to fist fight someone in the Tim Hortons parking lot after the game. Dear Landeskog Super Fans, Don’t tape shit up on the glass. It makes me irritable, and you wouldn’t like me when I’m irritable, as I turn into a large redheaded beast known as Psycho Carmen. View obstruction – it’s only OK if the cause of obstruction is a DILFy Head or Vice Coach. Remember that.

Of course, there is a chance that my wardrobe selection had absolutely nothing to do with the Majors sneak attack on the Rangers that Friday night because the team seemed pretty fired up all weekend long. Two days later, at a matinee game, the Majors played host to the Niagara IceDogs who decided to prove to me that they had no aim on the ice as well as off. (Yes, I just went there). This epic 10-1 loss to Mississauga was evidently the biggest loss in franchise history since the team relocated to St. Catharines. What can I say? You know I’m USUALLY bad luck for whatever bench I’m sitting near, and I just happened to be sitting right on the Niagara bench more or less. Sorry about that. Side note: this was my first visit back to the Hershey Centre since the IceDogs were the home team. I’m not gonne lie, but I had moments of legitimate confusion that afternoon because of this fact.

Anyway, that about sums up the missing game entries. Sorry, I’ve been busy, etc! There was a Marlies game in there somewhere, too, but the only thing that really stuck out about that game was the fact that I had finally tried Smoke’s poutine while I was at the rink. I gotta say that it doesn’t live up to the hype. I’m not a fan of the pale gravy… on my fries that is… OH SNAP!

Top Photo: How’s this for a 17 y/o disguise?

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