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Tag: Toronto Maple Leafs

Tuesday, February 2nd, 2010

Puck Bunny-esque Interview with the Toronto Star.

It’s kind of funny that Puck Bunny Month would kick off with an interview with the Toronto Star, not only the biggest newspaper in Canada, but probably the biggest authority on hockey in the entire written world. However, what did The Star phone me to discuss yesterday? Not the recent trading frenzy that has been going on in the MLSE head office, but rather they wanted to talk about a certain celebrity hockey girlfriend who will now be making her way to our fair city. The Star really wanted to know how Elisha Cuthbert is going to affect the fan experience in Leafs Nation. On the phone, I basically said that I was going to toss some ideas out at them, and they can fit them in however they want. So, it doesn’t sound as pretty as it normally does, but I still had a blast in the process. I am, however, personally heartbroken that my A-Rod and unidentified blonde comments didn’t make it in LOL. Luckily, the Komisarek, Cuthbert, Phaneuf love triangle did. Which, by the way, did any of you make that connection when you first heard about the trade? I know I certainly didn’t until I caught myself automatically starting to talk about it with the reporter! Talk about awkward! Anyway, click here to check out the article! I feel just like Damien Cox only with less talent! Enjoy! More puck bunny goodness to follow. P.S. This article was featured on the front page of the Toronto Star!! :)

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Wednesday, January 20th, 2010

Chicago (Day 3): Snowstorms and lacy things.

I rolled out of bed pretty late on that Monday. I was feeling kind of lazy and lost the will to do anything crazy in my usual form. I had been toying with the idea of either continuing on to Minnesota, or heading south to Dallas. I think I crave the adventure maybe more than I crave the actual hockey. Unfortunately, I was ill equipped to embark upon another “mystical six game road trip” like I had spontaneously mounted last season at the beginning of March. So, I decided that a trip to Victoria’s Secret was all the excitement I was going to have that day.

I ended up checking out of the hotel way later than I had expected. I was watching HBO or something while I was packing, and He’s Just Not that Into You came on. I was very against the whole idea of that movie when I first heard about it. I really hate all that self-help dating stuff, especially considering it’s usually based on the experience of the individual, and centres around women having to modify their behaviour to be even remotely worthy of any man. I won’t go off on one of THOSE tangents, though. And, like I said, I don’t read those books and haven’t read this particular book either. All I know is that my friends that do subscribe to this brand of garbage, basically turn into walking doormats the moment a penis enters the vicinity. Whatever works, right? I’m personally not a doormat, nor do I find doormats attractive. So, I would definitely rather be without someone who wants that type of person *ahem* stereotypical hockey wife.

Anyway, when the movie was about to come on, I reached for the remote to flick it off, but had a curious change of heart. I thought that I’d see how this movie handled all the grade A advice staining the pages of the book. I was only going to watch it for twenty minutes or so while I finished getting my stuff together, but I have to admit that it was surprisingly good. Long after I had packed and put my coat on to leave, I could not pull myself away from it. I had to see how it ended. I was literally perched on the end of the bed in my winter coat, boots, and with car keys in hand for a solid hour at least! What I found interesting about the movie was that all the main characters ended up being “exceptions.” I kind of like that big F you the writers appear to have sent to the author of the book by doing that. After all, what good can the theories and “rules” be if they can’t even hold up?

At 1PM, I finally left my hotel and was bound for the big Victoria’s Secret on Michigan Ave. Surprise! They just happened to be having their Semi Annual Sale. I knew this was going to be more than a quick run in to pick up a new bra. I spent two whole hours in that place, and came away with some gems like the top photo suggests. Mine’s black, though, and it looks better on her, I’m pretty sure. It was great for me to actually have something to declare when the border guard asked me how much I spent on goods. They usually find it suspicious that I never go shopping when I’m away on my trips. Sorry, I just really HATE that activity. This time around, my border guard was a femme, and we had a nice little chat about the sale.

At three, I was back on the road and headed directly into the same hideous weather I hit on my initial journey to the Windy City. Luckily, I stumbled upon Easy Street somewhere in the-middle-of-nowhere, Michigan. Literally. I stopped for gas in some no name spot, which happened to be off a meaningless road with Easy St. labeled on the street sign. So, that’s where it is! Unfortunately, the streets weren’t easy for very long. I still had the 402 to conquer, and, of course, it did not falter in providing me with another one of its usual winter whiteout challenges.

What I love about driving, even in terrible snowstorms, is that the road gives me a place to think. Naturally, finding an NHL team to call my own was a major topic of internal debate during this trip. In my head there were really only three candidates, the Ducks, the Leafs, and the Coyotes. The Ducks have a lot of things that I like, but this trip made me feel like the team and I don’t have enough history to keep a long distance bond like ours alive for long. The Leafs and I go way back. They are the team I grew up with, and we’ve been through a lot. I was there when the team was hot, just like I was there when they were not. And the support was mutual. The Leafs were there for me when I had no one. I sometimes wonder what I would have done without my Saturday night Leafs game at certain points in my life. However, the home games are ridiculously overpriced and tickets are hard to come by. Granted, I’d spend more money paying for a flight, accommodations, and a hockey ticket in the Pacific Division, but the Leafs don’t satisfy the adventurer in me seeing as it only takes me ten minutes to get to the rink. Then there’s Phoenix. I don’t have much to say in their favour at this point, but something someone told me a month and a half ago has played over and over again in my mind.

A woman felt that she needed to weigh in on that whole Arizona Prophecy thing. She told me she lost me at the point that I decided to ditch the Coyotes. Basically, she felt that everything seemed to say that Arizona was where I needed to be, so, no matter what, I shouldn’t have pulled myself away. Maybe that’s true, and maybe it’s not. It’s hard to know what events to pay attention to and what to filter out. She makes some sense, but I don’t know if I can really go back at this point. Going to see a team play, just so you can cheer against them, is not all that enjoyable. Trust me.

By the time I pulled into the drive way at my parents’ house, I made no decision about my new NHL allegiance. Instead, I began to get some crazy ideas in my head that I might branch out altogether. I was thinking that maybe it was time to take a little vacation from the NHL, and switch leagues for a month or so – for my sanity. Luckily, the Olympic break is right around the corner, so the timing couldn’t be more perfect. Stay tuned for details.

Roll the credits…

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Tuesday, January 12th, 2010

In a town like Toronto…


My goal this week is to pack up all my ish, and head back to Toronto. Spending as much time as I have been at my parents’ house has some terrible disadvantages for a hockey addict like moi. For starters, they don’t even have Center Ice, and it’s a miracle if I can steal the remote for a little TSN time when Ghost Hunters reruns are on (and, by the way, that show is on ALL THE TIME). Last night, I hoarded the remote so I could watch Off The Record for the first time in forever. I seriously had to hold the thing clenched between both hands so no one would take it! It was hard to hear all that Michael Landsberg and his guests had to say amongst the complaints, “Whyyyy areeee weee waaatching THIIIIS!?’ But one thing that the panel said did manage to make me roll my eyes in disgust.

The panel used that magic phrase and cliché, “In a town like Toronto…” to defend the “fans” alleged anger towards Brian Burke for “misleading” them into thinking that the Buds were going to make the post season this year. Burke claims that the playoffs were his goal and not his guarantee, but, apparently, “In a town like Toronto,” you don’t make the mistake of uttering the P-word without causing some sort of irrational frenzy.

Really?

Now, maybe you’re of the attitude that he shouldn’t have hinted at such promises. Maybe you were one of those radicals that went out and made a couple hundred “Leafs 2010 Stanley Cup Champs” shirts, which will now collect dust in your basement, and you’re really pissed off about it. But I really have to ask, are we, in a town like Toronto, that delusional that this non-isssue would become such a huge deal? Are you going to begrudge the man his ambitions and his goals? You don’t enter a marathon not hoping to cross the finish line. Of course, playoffs were his goal. It’s the goal of every team – duh!

In a town like Toronto, the fans really are some of the most elite in the League. They have come through the high times and slumps, and lived to tell the tale; and not with some tri-coloured jersey on their back either, but, rather, with an ever expanding collection of blue and white sweaters. They still have one of the highest game day attendance percentages in the NHL – hey, it’s not our fault some rinks were built to a 22K capacity and ours wasn’t, but even still, the Leafs could play out of the SkyDome (Rogers Centre), and fans would still probably be hard pressed to find a ticket. The fans are loyal as Hell, and it’s not because they are pipe dreamers, or stupid; it’s because hockey is just so damn important to the city, and the country, that we’ll stick it out through the bad times because we just can’t live without it.

This is why I find it hard to believe that any true blue Leafs fan, in a town like Toronto, would really be disgruntled by this alleged promise. A hardcore fan would be more than aware of the situation in the Leafs camp, and would know that some things are hard to fix when you don’t have the tools to fix them. A real Leafs fan would know that the team is attempting to get off the ground on the star power of merely four players alone. They’d know that, not too long ago, the Leafs were ruled by an evil regime that traded away all of our picks and prospects so that some big name, wash up, charity cases could get their wish to retire in Toronto. How many times, during this era, did some of the most talented names in the game use the Leafs as a bargaining chip to get more money from other organizations? Not to mention that we had some of the worst scouting in the League. How often were Leafs draftees not traded away or rotting away in St. John’s or at Ricoh Coliseum?

The point is that everyone can see that the Leafs are in a tough spot. They have few upcoming draft picks to their name, and very little in terms of trading assets. Putting the onus on one player isn’t going to magically turn things around for the club, and you know that, you’ve seen this all before. Now I’m not saying a miracle can’t happen, like, I don’t know, Kaberle waiving his No Trade Clause, and some monster forwards coming in his stead, and I’m definitely not saying you should give up on your 2010 playoff dreams, however fleeting they may seem. All I’m saying is that, in a place like Toronto, let’s make sure that we keep our heads held high, and represent the REAL Hockeytown like only the best fans in the game can. Oh, and maybe make some noise at a couple games, too. Thanks, that’d be great.

P.S. I say “we” a lot in this entry…hmm… Back to my Chicago recap next!

P.P.S. I’m the blonde one in the pic!

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Monday, December 28th, 2009

Habs@Buds: P-P-P-P-Unit – My first ACC box experience!

Christmas is a lonely time for the diehard hockey fan. For two nights we are forced to suck it up and watch basketball because the NHL princesses…I mean…players can’t man up and dance for our pleasure and their salaries – bah humbug! I was so bored that I made a few impulse buys on Christmas Eve including a hockey trip to Chicago and the Insanity Challenge DVD (as seen on TV). Pretty much everything being advertised via informercial that night was making a lot of sense to me, “Yeah, I DO need that serum to make the wrinkles I don’t have yet disappear!” I guess you could say that hockey withdrawal was bringing out the Peggy Bundy in me.

When Boxing Day finally approached – *ahem* that’s December 26th for you Yanks – I was just as excited as most of you were to be watching hockey on TV again. However, little did I know that I would be watching NHL hockey live and in person that night. Around 4:30PM I got an interesting message explaining that a FREE ticket to the Leafs game had come available and it was mine if I wanted it. Uhhh, yeah, hello? Of course, I want it. Plus, it didn’t hurt that the ticket was two rows behind the Habs bench AND had a fancy box attached to it as well! Daaaaaaamn, I wish I had those seats when the Coyotes were in town – I would have been up to no good x infinity!

Seeing as it was the day after Christmas, I was still in my pajamas at this time. I had been playing with the Wii Fit Plus all day and hadn’t even showered yet! Like the mad woman that I am, I got ready at a furious pace, and jumped in the car to speed back to Toronto. It was clear sailing the whole way there until I hit the Gardiner and all Hell broke loose as per usual. I made it to the Air Canada Centre with ten minutes to spare before puck drop. Yes, I missed the warm up! It was very unfortunate considering that the Habs have a spicelicious team that I have come to appreciate.

The box was amazing and was full of great food and great people. It was my first time in a box at the ACC and, actually, at any hockey game. My only box experiences have been for Jays games at the SkyDome *sigh* Rogers Centre. The food in our box was fancy – lobster and shrimp and sushi and ice cream a plenty! Yum! If you have never been to the Air Canada Centre, then you probably wouldn’t know that they have boxes near the locker rooms as well as in the upper bowl! The box I was in was near the Habs dressing room, and was actually the box right smack in the middle of the players walkway to get to the ice! I had the best photo-ops ever, but my camera and my photography skills failed miserably – what else is new?

And then of course there were the actual seats. It’s definitely challenging to know where to look when you are anywhere near the Montreal Canadiens. Lapierre, Price, O’Byrne, and, oh, Mike Cammalleri, why must you be so short? Not to mention DILF-o-rama, Hal Gill! He reminded me of that horrible night in Pittsburgh last season. He was present for the infamous “Teenstache” incident in which, at a local watering hole, I mercilessly taunted one of the Penguins for strutting around with the aforementioned almost facial hair. My partner in crime that night still talks about how much she hates Hal Gill! Apparently, he was quite the douche bag to her! That whole concept of beautiful men having attitude problems is completely unfathomable (sarcasm). On the other hand, another girl friend of mine said she once saw him with his top off and the vision made her quickly reprioritized her life’s goals to #1 See Hal Gill Naked. Oh, yes.

Not gonna lie, much like at the Rangers game on the 18th, I spent a large portion of the Leafs OT loss stealing pictures of the tri-coloured babes – with a large chunk of time dedicated to capturing the Hal Gill money shot. Anyway, I *THINK* I’m hitting another junior game tomorrow. I’m heading back to the old Guelph Sports and Entertainment Centre (now Sleeman Centre) – another former haunt of mine, but with less significance. And, of course, Chicago is fast approaching. I don’t think I need to remind you that I’m going on this road trip despite the warnings from my sequel to Down the Rabbit Hole. This trip could very well be the death of me. After all, it is in the Chicago area that my “character” dies. Until next time…if there is a next time.

Roll the credits…

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Monday, December 14th, 2009

Sabres@Buds: Another silent night.

‘Tis the season to be extremely busy, and, surprisingly, that’s exactly what I have been. It’s my first holiday season out of school, and consequently, unemployed. So, you’d think I’d have plenty of time to do nothing except blog – not the case. December is already half over and I’ve been in and out of job interviews, job hunting, cleaning, packing, and, of course, Christmas shopping. I have not been to a single hockey game all month, and have been so busy that I STILL have not posted the details about my last NHL mini-adventure on November 30th at the Air Canada Centre, when the Sabres were in town to take on the Maple Leafs! So here goes:

I had to head back to Toronto on the night of the game, as I was in my hometown of Kitchener-Waterloo prepping for my job interview on December 2nd. I hit a tonne of traffic, naturally, yet still managed to make it to the ACC by 6:30PM for a 7PM start. Oh, P.S. I’m currently in Kitchener-Waterloo right now; I know a lot of you suspected I was in Detroit for the Coyotes game – WRONG! Anyway, I met up with my friend, Asif, for the game. It was our first get together in years. We go way back to our Fratland days at the University of Toronto. He’s a big Habs fan, and used to hate my constant sporting of Leafs gear in my earlier university years – you know, before the hatred set in. Who knew that he’d grow up to be an up and coming P-I-M-P at Maple Leaf Sports?

Yes, that’s right. My tickets for the game were provided by Maple Leaf Sports and Entertainment Ltd. It’s about damn time I got something for free from them, eh? Actually, by the sounds of it MLSE is a great place to work again. All the baddies are gone, and thus, I OFFICALLY no longer hold a grudge. Leafs are fair game for me again – watch out!

The game was kind of a snoozefest (imagine that – sarcasm). The Sabres got a shutout, and I couldn’t even be happy about it on account of studly Paul Gaustad being out of the lineup due to a knee injury! SAD! You had to feel for the Leafs fans, though. There was this mother-son duo sitting next to us who had driven down from Barrie for the game. By the third period, they had developed some strange sports betting system. The mom was betting against the Leafs, and son kept wagering that the Leafs would at least score once. They never did, and by the time the buzzer sounded to end the game, the kid had gambled away all his Wii and TV privileges. Poor little guy.

After the game, Asif and I hit Front St. Front Street is my favourite game day district in Toronto. We had a minor celebrity sighting in the intimate, seven table lounge at which we were chilling. At the table behind us sat Spenny of television fame, Kenny vs. Spenny. Now, this is a Canadian show, but I have seen it on in the States. I remember quite clearly watching it in my Old City hotel room after a Flyers victory at Wachovia Center. But if you don’t know Kenny vs. Spenny, then all I can really describe it as is the real life version of Terrance and Phillip. Anyway, he was decked out in a vintage Leafs t-shirt, and was clearly unaffected by the loss. The highlight for me was probably the douche bag that made a big production out of announcing that he was going to buy Spenny a beer, like Spenny, and the rest of us, couldn’t hear, and then NEVER DID IT! Come on, guy! Be a man.

Anyway, I hadn’t been to a Leafs game since the Flyers were in town during the preseason in September. I have to admit that I missed them. Now, don’t get upset Ducks fans, I’m not ditching you guys, but in these uncertain economical times, plus the fact that I could be uprooted and relocated at any given moment, the Leafs and I have decided to put our past behind us and have a love affair. BUT we still don’t want to be friends…Rah rah ah ah ah ah…

Roll the credits…

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Tuesday, November 24th, 2009

Top 10 Tuesday: Replay Edition.

I heard about this reality show called, Replay, which brings together the members of former sports teams to play a rematch of the pinnacle games of their careers. It’s a really cool idea for a show! I have often thought about the defining moments in my career as a hockey addict, and I can’t help but wonder what my life might have been like had certain things not happened, or had I not gone to certain games. So, for this week’s edition of Top 10 Tuesday, we look at the games/moments that eventually led to the birth of Psycho Lady Hockey, and my hockey adventures around the world. Whether you are thankful things happened the way they did, or you’re a hater, and wish I had stayed home on these days is up to you. Get ready! You are about to embark upon a lengthy walk down memory lane. Enjoy! Top Photo: My first REAL Coyotes game. Look you can see my shirt! Haha!

10. Team Canada vs. Team Finland (December 31, 2002)

ACK! What I wouldn’t have given to have had actual plans on New Year’s Eve that year. For the first and only time in my life, I was experiencing constant peer-pressure. Let’s not discuss what it was pressure over, but the IIHF World Junior Championship games turned out to be the only rare occasions that my, then, friends would let up on trying to get me hooked on their ideas of who I should become entangled with. Some of them had a crush on the captain of Team Canada. I was so overwhelmed at the time that I didn’t notice him, but my most vivid memory of that time period was of his picture being on TV, and my friends letting up on me for a few brief moments just so they could gush over him. I guess the picture was ingrained on my mind as a type of safe haven, even though I had no idea who this player was (apart from his name), or where he played during the regular season. For years, I never actively thought of him again, but, like I said, his image would be the first memory that would come to me the moment I thought of this traumatic experience. I never knew or cared about what became of this guy, but sure enough, our paths would cross again and again and again in my hockey history. Anyway, I watched that game twice that night, nervous as Hell, and not absorbing a thing apart from one commentator’s strange remark, “Ruutu hammers Tootoo; two to Ruutu!” Try saying that five times fast! Replay: If I had plans on this NYE, had I been out of town, or far, far away from where I was; things would be different. I wouldn’t have learned the cold hard truth about puck bunnies, and the value of friendships when hockey players are involved. As a result, I never would have written Down the Rabbit Hole, and I likely would not be as involved with studying the culture of the game as I am today.

9. Kitchener Rangers vs. Guelph Storm (March 28, 2002 – Game 4)

The funny thing was the Kitchener Rangers were swept in the first four games of the 2002 OHL Playoffs, but ended up taking the Memorial Cup in 2003. Earlier that season, I was introduced to OHL hockey, and started introducing my friends to it as well. By this final game of the 2001-2002 season, one of my friends decided to meet up with a girl she knew from one of her extra-curricular activities (and I mean that in the non-dirty sense). This girl, and her friends, went to high school with the team, and they were full blown pucks. One girl had a webpage, you remember those homestead accounts people used to have, on which she posted a picture of every player she had relations with and what she did with them. Unlike the rumours people started about my site, this chick actually posted this stuff (and only this stuff) on hers. Anyway, these girls were in the habit of waiting for the players after the games, and they introduced my friends to this ritual. I remember how awkward I felt standing there. I never understood what they were after. They didn’t want autographs. They didn’t want pictures. They just wanted to be seen. I stood there pressed up against the concrete wall, looking down at my running shoes, and praying that the next thing out of someone’s mouth was, “OK! Let’s get out of here.” That offseason, I moved to Toronto to finish high school, and left my former hockey buddies behind to mingle with the likes of the locker room lurkers. On the weekends, when I started coming home again, I was horrified to learn that my friends had grown closer with the type of girls discussed above, and that they were now in the habit of waiting after every game. I remember fiddling with my keys, trying not to make eye contact, yet somehow some of these guys ended up with my phone number and email address. Replay: Had we decided not to go to this 2002 playoff game, my friends would have likely lost interest in the Rangers after my relocation to Majors territory. But since this didn’t happen, this behaviour eventually led to my very traumatic, and life defining experience during the 2003 WJC tourney the following season.

8. St. Michael’s Majors vs. Kitchener Rangers (February 10, 2002)

Of course, I already knew all about the Ontario Hockey League when I was a kid. I even sang the national anthem with my choir at one of the games back in grade school. However, it was my uncle who took me to my first REAL junior hockey game. I was really obsessed with the Leafs and never missed a game. This was before the horrid LeafsTV era. My uncle decided to introduce me to the O because he thought I would probably love it just as much. I did love it. I loved sitting so close to the ice and being able to get a sense of the size of the players and the quickness of the game. I never sat closer than the second last row of the upper bowl at the Air Canada Centre or Maple Leaf Gardens. Replay: Sometimes I wonder had the Rangers not been the team visiting St. Michael’s College School Arena, if I would have sought out the team when I was back home in Kitchener with my fellow Catholic school girl friends.

7. Employment with Maple Leaf Sports & Entertainment Ltd. (2005-2006 Season)

Leafs fans have been put through a lot like, a repeating history of horribleness, and a total scarcity of game tickets. That being said, they are loyal as Hell. The Leafs were my homeboys. They could do no wrong in my eyes, until the fateful day I accepted employment in an MLSE front office. After my dream job turned into a nightmare, I couldn’t stand the sight of the Leafs or any MLSE team. Thank goodness, the Rock and the Jays are independent of MLSE! Replay: Had I not gotten the job with MLSE, I know things would be different. To this day, I would still be a die-hard Leafs fan, albeit a sad one. I would have likely never began my NHL road adventures, and I’m sure I would have been more than content being a hometown, blue jersey wearing, Labatt drinking hockey fan. I would have never seen the things that I’ve seen, met the people I’ve met, or had the adventures I’ve had. Had I not taken this job, maybe I’d have all the things that a life on the road has prevented me from having. Maybe I’d have a boyfriend. Maybe I’d be married…with kids? Eek. This one really makes me wonder about how normal my life could have been.

6. Grand Rapids Griffins vs. Milwaukee Admirals (January 29, 2005)

The NHL Lock Out was a difficult time for all hockey fans. I decided to seek out the AHL as a substitute for my beloved Leafs. One night, my friend and I discussed wanting to go on a road trip. Neither of us cared where we went, so I nominated an AHL city because, being a Leafs fan, supporting the Hamilton Bulldogs seemed wrong. I nominated the Milwaukee Admirals on the grounds that they were the defending champs. I didn’t know much else about the team at the time, but after my first game at the Bradley Center on January 20th, 2005, I was hooked. We saw two games in Milwaukee, but on the way back to Toronto, fate intervened. Not paying attention to the road, we found ourselves on the I-96 headed toward Grand Rapids. It was at that moment that we realized how close some of the other AHL teams were to Toronto, and decided to see the Ads play there the following weekend. Replay: Had I not been so into the music, and noticed the off ramp in the left lane, I doubt I would have gone to another Milwaukee game every again. This would have stopped the wanderlust, which eventually turned into Psycho Lady Hockey, from developing.

5. Colorado Avalanche vs. Phoenix Coyotes (November 4, 2009)

This was the game that killed my feelings for the Phoenix Coyotes for good. When I visited the Pepsi Center for the first time, I realized that I couldn’t go home again. The Coyotes were all I knew. As much as I was starting to despise them, they were comfortable. After this game, I was very disillusioned about the Arizona Prophecy and fate in general. I guess, in time, I’ll learn about what the point of this Coyotes misadventure was, but for now it’s a mystery. Replay: What would have happened if I didn’t book this doomed vacation? Would I still be a Phoenix fan? Or was it only a matter of time before everything fell apart at the seams?

4. Buffalo Sabres vs. Philadelphia Flyers (February 20, 2007)

After my employment with MLSE, I was at a loss for a team for a couple of months. I had an idea to check out a game in Buffalo, as that was the closest NHL team to Toronto, so it made the most sense for me. They were going to be playing the Philadelphia Flyers on the night in question. I kept asking my friends if they wanted to go, but I was getting denied at every turn. Finally, I had given up on the idea, and just decided to be content with my hockey-less life. One day, the day my scouted Sabres tickets were set to expire on ebay, my, soon to be, hockey partner in crime sought me out. That night we won the tickets, and as it would turn out, they were a couple rows behind the Flyers bench. Instead of becoming a Sabres fan, my friend and I became fast Flyers fans, and scheduled our first trip to Philadelphia for less than two weeks later. Replay: Had my now friend (we had only met twice before that) not contacted me for that game, I never would have become a Flyers fans. I never would have had some of the best, and my most cherished, hockey years of my life with some of the craziest fans in the league. I also wonder if the Arizona Prophecy would have found me if I wasn’t wearing a sparkly black and orange target on my chest.

3. Toronto Maple Leafs vs. Hartford Whalers (1994ish)

My uncle decided I was old enough for my first NHL game at the Gardens. I was too lazy to look up the actual date of this game – sorry. At that time, my game experience was limited to Jays games at the SkyDome. I’d only ever see the one game at Maple Leaf Gardens, but the experience had a lasting effect on me and was, obviously, a defining moment in my hockey history. Replay: Had my uncle decided to take his friend to this game instead, I wonder if hockey would have been the thing I turned to in my teen years to keep me sane and stave off adolescent anxiety. I think it’s likely that I would have never found hockey on my own, if it wasn’t for my uncle’s influence in the sports department. It really makes me wonder what kind of life I could have had if I was completely untouched by the fastest sport on ice.

2. Boston Bruins vs. Philadelphia Flyers (March 3, 2009)

I wasn’t supposed to go to this game in Boston. Early on in the second half of the season, I had limited myself to only going to the Flyers game in Boston on February 7th. However, the trip went amiss, and I decided to give Boston another go. For some reason, Boston had always seemed very significant to me in terms of the Prophecy. Replay: Of course, I was thrust into my unexpected mystical six game road trip the day after this game. I wonder if I hadn’t been in Boston at the time, if I would have bothered to follow the predictions and switch teams to Phoenix as thoughtlessly as I had. I think it is more likely that I would have finished off the season with Philadelphia, and may or may not have reassessed things over the offseason.

1. Boston Bruins vs. Phoenix Coyotes (March 5, 2009)

Seeing that I was still in Boston on March 4th, I felt the call to the Arizona Prophecy after I received word that one of the predictions had fallen into place. I was supposed to be getting on a plane to Buffalo, and heading back home to Toronto. I was at a literal crossroads and I didn’t like the sane option. If Phoenix was the path I was supposed to go on, then I wanted to be able to either confirm or rule the Prophecy out by my own efforts – see (or not see) with my own eyes. It was the most romantic thing I ever did, the only strange thing about it was that I didn’t know who the guy was that I was running to. Replay: The safe bet would have been to get on that plane, but instead I ended up running out of Logan International and back downtown Boston. If I hadn’t received that text message, and got on that plane as scheduled, MAYBE I would have gone to the Coyotes game in Buffalo on the 6th, but I think it was likelier that I would have talked myself out of believing the psychics and searching for the possible man of my dreams. Maybe I would have been responsible and gone to class, instead of embarking upon a “money is no object” trip to find my destiny. I don’t know if there is something to the Arizona Prophecy, as far as I know I found nothing in the desert but heartache. Who knows what the point of all of this was, all I can say is that if I was a little more sane and a little less impulsive, I would have been a lot happier for the last nine months of my life. Oh well, at least I have the story to tell.

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Tuesday, November 17th, 2009

Top 10 Tuesday: Best (worst) Leafs jokes.

I used to know some pretty great hockey jokes in my day, but, living in Toronto, most of them centred around the Leafs. Since a lot of the jokes I used to tell were timely, and had a lot to do with the Leafs being better than other teams in the playoffs (*ahem* that should tell you how old they are), I decided to do some research and find the ten best/worst Leafs jokes floating around today. Is this my way of taking the lazy man’s out for this week’s Top 10 Tuesday? You bet it is! Enjoy!

10. What does Toronto have that Montreal doesn’t?
A. Black and white photos of their last Stanley Cup.

9. Why doesn’t Hamilton have an NHL team?
A: Because then Toronto would want one.

8. I’ve always admired that slogan MLSE came up with, “The Passion That Unites Us All.” You have to give them credit, that’s a pretty clever way of saying, “Misery Loves Company.”

7. As most of you know, Toskala tried to commit suicide last night by standing on the train tracks just south of Dupont. Thankfully, thankfully, the train went through his legs. (I used to tell this joke featuring Patrick Lalime).

6. How are Maple Leafs general managers like beachcombers?
A. They make their living trying to salvage washed up junk.

5. The Toronto Maple Leafs announced today that the entire contents of their trophy case has been stolen. Police are on the lookout for a man carrying a blue and white carpet.

4. Why did Vesa Toskala interrupt two people having sex?
A. He wanted to know what it felt like to stop someone from scoring.

3. Two Canadians died and went to hell. They really enjoyed the heat, which made the devil very angry. So he turned down the heat. Still no change, the Canadians were loving it. This went on for days until it was absolutely freezing in Hell. The devil went to find out why the Canadians were jumping with glee. “Why are you so happy?” the devil asked. The Canadians replied, “Hell froze over, the Leafs won the Stanley Cup!” (Another classic!)

2. What did Billy do after the Leafs won the Stanley Cup?
A. He turned off his PlayStation.

1. Two guys are camping out in the Muskokas, sitting around a fire at night and relaxing. Suddenly, one of them sits bolt upright and shouts, “DAMMIT! The Leafs lost!” His friend, impressed with his friend’s psychic ability, asked, “How do you know?” His friend replied, “It’s after 10:00pm.”

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