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Tag: Top 10 Tuesday

Tuesday, March 2nd, 2010

Top 10 Tuesday: 2010 NHL Trade Deadline Headlines

Hi, remember Top 10 Tuesday? It’s been awhile, but I couldn’t resist making one this week in honour of the NHL trade deadline. It’s my *favourite* day of the year! This week I have compiled a list of mock trade announcements. That’s right, they’re FAKE like the goods on your least favourite hockey girlfriend. I feel like I shouldn’t have to specify this, but you never know these days with the YouPorners and such. Anyway, enjoy the list and have a Happy Trade Deadline tomorrow! P.S. Try not to be too sad that Puck Bunny Month is over.

10. With rumours that Dany Heatley is still upset with his amount of ice time in San Jose, the Sharks seek to trade him to St. Louis where he will subsequently be reassigned to the Alaska Aces of the ECHL. The Sharks feel that Heatley can have all the ice he wants in the great white north. They want nothing in return.

9. Upper management in Pittsburgh has decided to ship Sidney Crosby to the first Canadian team that makes an offer. The Penguins feel that Crosby’s life is endanger after his performance in the Vancouver 2010 gold medal game if he remains in Steel Town. So far only Minnesota has made an offer.

8. CBC has reported that the Leafs’ trade suggestion box (dumpster) behind the Air Canada Centre has overflowed for the third time since the Olympic break. MLSE is expected to pay the City of Toronto $1500 in fines for littering.

7. In true Edmonton hockey wife fashion, Hilary Duff has made a formal request that fiancé Mike Comrie be traded to an American NHL city. The spokesperson for the couple stated that Ms. Duff felt that her million dollar engagement ring was not safe in the sketchy part of Edmonton wherein Rexall Place is situated.

6. Sources in Atlanta state that Theo Fleury’s agent has been allegedly bargaining royalties to his book Playing with Fire in exchange for a tryout with the Thrashers in September.

5. The Florida Panthers and Tampa Bay Lightning have agreed to swap teams. ProLine is currently taking bets on how long it will take for hockey fans to notice the difference.

4. The Anaheim Ducks hope the third time is the charm as they make moves to trade Joffrey Lupul for Chris Pronger again. The hockey world mourns the loss of the In the Loops blog.

3. In the wake of the bizarre love triangle in the Leafs dressing room, Brian Burke has announced his intent to move Mike Komisarek to less hostile territory. Phoenix has reportedly jumped at the opportunity. Finally, a place to push the Peter Mueller card!

2. Sharks scout, John Ferguson Jr, has allegedly been trying to convince GM Doug Wilson to let Chris Chelios retire in a San Jose jersey.

1. The New York Rangers have sought to clear some cap space by dealing Wade Redden to the Dallas Stars. In other news, Sean Avery was suspended indefinitely for referring to the Stars as his sloppy seconds.

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Tuesday, January 26th, 2010

Top 10 Tuesday: Another year older, another year sexier.

Happy birthday to me! Happy birthday to me! It’s hard to believe that there has already been a full year of Psycho Lady Hockey in the history books. I have had some great and some horrible memories of these first 365 days. This week’s list recounts some of the greatest and more significant moments that this Psycho Lady has experienced since I first opened that account on Blogger not so long ago. Buckle your seatbelts for another cheesy clips installment of Top 10 Tuesday! Enjoy!

10. First Blog Entry

For a couple months I had been contemplating starting a blog. After the producers and the possible TV shows, I was advised to create a site as a place to post my research material while I was off on my hockey excursions. On January 26, 2009, Psycho Lady Hockey was born. Writing that first blog entry on my life in hockey up until the starting point of the site took me hours. I don’t think I have ever been so nervous about something I was writing before that post – 30 page university papers included! Luckily, after my first few posts, I started to loosen up, and just have fun with the content that you have all grown to love, or obsessively hate. Either way.

9. Saved and Nearly Killed by My Flyers Fuzzy Dice

Technically, being saved by my Flyers fuzzy dice happened a couple weeks before the birth of this site, however, the tale was the topic of my third blog post. Speeding on my way to Philadelphia, I was pulled over by Officer McHotterson, who used my Flyers dice as a way to avoid giving me a pretty hefty speeding ticket. Two months later, in Newark, these same dice attracted some unwanted attention from some crazed Devils fans. I was beginning to understand the magnitude of the New York area fandom. Like I’ve said many times, I haven’t seen a rivalry as intense as Islanders-Rangers-Devils. They love to hate each other, and everyone else, even if that team is nowhere to be found.

8. Arizona Prophecy

It’s probably impossible for any of you to actually grasp the Arizona Prophecy because I’ve kept quite a few details out of my posts. Nevertheless, the Arizona Prophecy prompted severe action from me because of the timing of the events. As a hockey fan, I was going to be traveling for hockey no matter what. It didn’t seem like such a bad thing that I switch to a team that was located in an area that I was supposedly linked to in some way. It’s kind of like those forwards you get in your inbox that promise that if you don’t pass it on to twenty people, bad luck will befall you. You know it’s highly unlikely that you’re going to be miserable for the next ten years if you don’t pass it on, but part of you keeps thinking, “What if I just delete this email and horrible things DO happen to me for the next ten years.” Sure it might not happen, but, if it did, wouldn’t you kick yourself knowing that this simple act may have prevented the misfortune. I guess that’s kind of how I approached the Arizona Prophecy. All I needed was a hockey team; Phoenix just provided me with the insurance of keeping all my bases covered.

7. Mystical 6 Game Road Trip

My first major adventure after the switch in team allegiance. The mystical six game roadie happened spontaneously after a two day trip to Boston, to see the Flyers play, turned into an eleven day quest. For these eleven days, I was pretty much out of contact with the world. My family had to resort to tracking me via Psycho Lady Hockey, just to see where I was. Ah, the days before my next game information required top secret clearance. For the first time in my life, hockey began to feel like a life or death thing. I traveled by car, rental car, and planes between Boston, Buffalo, New York, Detroit, and New Jersey. This was definitely one of the craziest, and most sleep deprived trips of my life! Thank goodness for over packing! This event also brought the first wave of Psycho Lady fans to the surface. Until that point, I had only heard from the odd reader. But once I began posting about this adventure, I had messages flooding in demanding to know what happened next.

6. Infamy in Pittsburgh

After a rough and regretful trip to Anaheim last season, I arrived in Pittsburgh tired, hungry, and with dysfunctional hair extensions. We buzzed around downtown Pittsburgh looking for a place for me to get emergency hair surgery (seeing as I looked like a scarecrow with my Calgary Flames Cowgirl hat). After the operation, we had but a few precious moments to get to the rink, and made the first mistake of downing a bottle of bubbly in our haste. The game is a blur of free beer, nachos, and fans whispering about drunk Canadians. After the game, I unleashed the fury on an unsuspecting Pittsburgh Penguin, only to wind up lying in a bed in one of Britney Spears’s tour buses. The next morning was unpleasant to say the least.

5. New Mission

Up until the mystical six game road trip, I had only been traveling out of convenience as a super fan. Seeing as my team was Philly, and I lived in Toronto, I basically only traveled to the most unchallenging locations to see my team play. I tried not to miss any Flyers games in Montreal, Ottawa, Buffalo, and Toronto. But other than those cities, Philadelphia was really the only location I was frequenting. After I switched teams, and went on this crazy adventure, I started to realize that visiting all the arenas at least once is something that I would really enjoy doing! This new mission also gave me an idea for a new book, however, I don’t think it’s fair for me to even begin writing it until the last eleven rinks are under my belt!

4. Taking the Road Show Over Seas

In another one of my crazed moves of the 08-09 NHL season, I found myself on a last minute flight to Zurich for the IIHF World Championship. Let me tell you, going to Europe by yourself can really get lonely. I was watching a lot of Euro MTV a.k.a. one of two English speaking channels (the other being CNN). The most amusing thing about this trip was that I didn’t tell anyone that I was going. Instead I told my family that I was in Pittsburgh for the Flyers series during the playoffs. I chose Pittsburgh instead of Montreal because I knew that if my family thought I was in the States, they wouldn’t bother trying to call my cell phone, thus, not hearing the give away beeping sound that you receive on calls to Europe. No one caught onto my lie for three whole months, until a German receipt fell out of my purse, and I was found out.

3. Welcome to Twitter

At the end of June, I decided to finally join Twitter. I didn’t really see what the point of Twitter was for someone who didn’t have her own business or anything like that, until I realized that I could use it to meet other hockey fans. I don’t think the offseason will ever be the same again. Meeting hockey fans from all over the world made those normally (emotionally) volatile three months a lot more bearable. Twitter also became a great way to compliment my work on Psycho Lady Hockey. If you’re an avid reader, but not following me on Twitter, you should be. It will help you bridge some of the gaps!

2. Psycho Lady Hockey Becomes Too Popular

Apparently. By early October, the jealous underbelly of wannabe puck bunnies began to come out of the woodwork in an attempt to “destroy” me, I guess. Textbook puck bunny behaviour. Hate on anything that might be getting what they not-so-secretly desire. From stalking me daily both on my blog and on Twitter, to spreading rumours about things their mental disorders thought they read on my site, to mounting campaigns to get the other lowly mirror-breakers to join forces in a “mass” unfollow, the Psycho Lady Anti-Fan Club has only succeeded in sensationalizing me to catastrophic numbers as far as they are concerned. If that wasn’t amusing enough, a couple of them have taken to trying to isolate individuals who are outwardly supportive of this website and my existence. Won’t make any friends that way, my girls. Keep up the good work, you’re making my job a whole lot easier.

1. Ducks Fans and Players Show Me a Sign

The Anaheim fans, maybe the most enthusiastic fans in the league, were quick to jump on my Show Me a Sign campaign. In true Ducks fashion, these ladies went above and beyond in their pitch to get me to join their ranks. Not only did they make an amazing and glittery game sign, but they also managed to get Ducks players, George Parros and Joffrey Lupul, to model their handy work. I was obviously quickly sold on the Anaheim club after this gesture. The bar was set very high right out of the gates with this contest. Which reminds me, if you are attempting to make a game sign in the near future, make it small. There have been a few reported incidents of Psycho Lady signs being confiscated at the door due to size.

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Tuesday, January 5th, 2010

Top 10 Tuesday: How to tell if your hockey girlfriend is a gold-digging pig.

I never thought any professional hockey players would bother to read my site, but I’m often surprised to hear stories about how my modest little website has made its way around the game. So, this week’s Top 10 Tuesday is for the players. Hockey players, as well as any individual in a prominent position in society, have the “problem” of being wanted solely for superficial and materialistic reasons. Of course, not everyone thinks this is a problem. There are a lot of insecure players out there that think if they walk around with a Louis Vuitton porn doll on their arm that people will know how well they must be doing even if it’s not showing on the ice. Unfortunately, the only people that envy the trophy pig factor are other douche bags, but luckily, the world is not in short supply of those. Anyway, for the players’ that want something more for their lives, but feel that they need help in spotting the tell tale pig signs in their current “girlfriends,” this list is for them! Enjoy!

10. She decided it would be cool to talk like you and your hockey buddies, “Sick dangle. I knew you’d snipe tonight. You’re a WHEEL!” She also calls you by your hockey nickname instead of your real name.

9. She has a long history of trying to get “famous” or “trap a celebrity” with various schemes like, “modeling,” dating other athletes and leaking sex tapes with them, and even working on TV and/or in sports. Big surprise, as soon as you came sniffing around, she was no longer all that interested in her “career.”

8. She’s opportunistic, and makes sure she has to be by your side at all key moments like holidays, injuries, and trades – just like a real wife (or mommy) would do.

7. She doesn’t trust you because she sees you as a golden ticket that she absolutely cannot lose. That’s why she conveniently decides to book a trip to see you play on the road in the city closest to where you (and your women) live in the offseason.

6. Behind your back, she brags about how your “famous” hockey friends are her friends. Sometimes she even tries to make it sound like she was invited to their weddings personally (even though she has never met them), and not simply listed on your invitation as a “plus one.”

5. She’s more concerned with tweeting (bragging) about your relationship than she is about you. For example, you’re injured and in the hospital, so naturally she needs to tweet about how she has rushed to your side. You’d think someone who was sincerely distressed would be too overcome with the situation to have the thought or the time to tweet about it…hmm?

4. She does embarrassing things at MANDATORY charity events like hogging the camera so she doesn’t have to actually help out, while gushing about how all the less fortunate kids are just so excited and impressed with the fact that she is your girlfriend. Umm, no; they were excited because they were getting toys delivered by the charity, but thanks for coming out.

3. Ever since day one she has tried really hard to look like she is on the same level as you are financially. She drives the same make of car, and you never see her with the same designer shoes or bags twice. You won’t think she’s after your money if you think she already has it. Fake it ‘til you make it!

2. She single handedly destroys your fan base because she uses her “girlfriend status” to rub your money/lifestyle in their faces. As a result, you’ve begun to hear multiple people refer to you as a joke simply because you’re dating her. There goes your hopes of being the next fan favourite!

1. She’s American. She didn’t know who you were, and only cared once you told her you played pro hockey. If you had given your NHL ID to your childhood friend or your brother, it’d be their boys she’d be s*cking. The end.

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Tuesday, December 29th, 2009

Top 10 Tuesday: More random hockey related trivia about the Psycho Lady.

Christmas is over so I really have no excuse for missing anymore Top 10 Tuesdays, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be lazy about it! Yes, that’s right! This week you get yet another wonderful list of random hockey related garbage you probably didn’t already know about me. Like you care, right? Try to enjoy yourself! I know it’s hard. Also, please check back with the last list. That Oshawa Generals charity game is fast approaching! Get your tickets now!!

10. In my lifetime I have called several teams “my team:” Toronto Maple Leafs (NHL), Philadelphia Flyers (NHL), Phoenix Coyotes (NHL) Kitchener Rangers (OHL), St. Michaels Majors (OHL), Guelph Storm (OHL), Milwaukee Admirals (AHL), Toronto Marlies (AHL). When it comes down to it, I’m just a lover of the game.

9. My sister (who is actually 17) goes to the same high school as the Kitchener Rangers. I was there to pick her up once, and saw that the Rangers have their own “special lockers” all together with hockey players painted on them. Hahaha! Makes it easy for the bunnies to stake out!

8. When I bought my new car in August, I neglected to put some of my hockey stuff back in the new one. Now the only hockey stuff that isn’t in a box in the trunk is my 1975 Flyers Stanley Cup mug, and a small Flyer hoisting the 1974 cup. Sadly, the Philly dice are in the trunk along with countless Leafs trash, the 2005 Milwaukee Admirals team composite, and an Islanders bobblehead.

7. While I was in New York for the Coyotes game at MSG I ran into Dave Strader (Phoenix’s TV play-by-play commentator) at the NHL store. He smiled at me, and I couldn’t be sure if it was because he recognized or if he was being polite.

6. The furthest I’ve ever traveled for hockey by car is Nashville, TN (14 hours). The furthest by plane is Zurich, Switzerland (9 hours). By other is Buffalo, NY (2 hours – bus)… unpleasant.

5. The 2010 IIHF World Championship is to be held in Mannheim, Germany; exactly one hour from my place of birth. Plus, Moose Messier is gonna be coaching, so, duh, I wanna go!

4. Growing up I played every sport EXCEPT hockey competitively…eww and soccer…I hate soccer. But don’t let that fool you; I can still kick your ass on skates.

3. Small things amuse me. At the Coyotes game in Toronto on Dec 16th, not only did the anthem singer mess up the CANADIAN national anthem BIG TIME, but a puck flew past my seat and landed on top of the pizza the girl behind me was eating. How did I not piss my pants laughing? This picture also amuses me!

2. I have a long history of being stalked by hockey players and hockey wives. You wonder why they annoy the shit out of me.

1. You all know about Coach DILF John Stevens buying me dessert and tea, but did you know that Coach DILF Paul Maurice TOUCHED me?! Oh yeah, that’s right! Mmm mmm mmm! So he was shaking my hand at the time, whatever, you’re just jealous! :P

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Wednesday, December 9th, 2009

Top 10 Tuesday: Random hockey related trivia about the Psycho Lady.

Alright, I’m a day late! I had a migraine last night – I’ve been really bad about drinking my water lately! Anyway, this week’s Top 10 Tuesday takes a look at some of the quick hockey related facts that you probably didn’t already know about yours truly. Boring, perhaps, but make sure you pay special attention to #1. Enjoy!

10. One of my earliest hockey memories is of Wayne Gretzky in a parade.

9. I’ve experienced moments of total silence at Leafs games at the Air Canada Centre.

8. I stopped getting my hockey jerseys personalized because every player I’d get would leave the team shortly thereafter. Hmm…maybe I should use this power to my advantage!

7. I actually own a PINK jersey. Like this one only in Florida Panthers. I wanted it for my collection. I still have yet to wear it to a game.

6. Playboy says hockey players make the best lovers…I strongly disagree.

5. My uncle has a mint Mario Lemieux rookie card, and I plan to steal it someday.

4. This one time…I didn’t wear a bra to a hockey game. Every time I looked in the stands every male eye in the house was on the goods. I felt violated…and cold haha!

3. PSYCH! I faked my recent trip to Edmonton. Now, now, don’t get huffy! I didn’t do it to mess with the fans! I did it to mess with the Coyotes who have been known to make fake Twitter accounts to follow me and ONLY me. Yeah, how’d you like them apples!?

2. In my opinion, the best rink food in the entire league is the poutine at Scotiabank Place. Though, a cheesesteak from Campo’s is a close second!

1. A member from the Zeta Omega chapter of my sorority, Alpha Gamma Delta, has contracted a non-life threatening form of cancer. The Oshawa Generals of the Ontario Hockey League have generously offered to cover the expenses of her medication if she can sell 500 tickets to the Gens game on January 16th, 2010 vs. St. Mike’s Majors. If you are interested in attending, click here to check out the event page on Facebook! Contact one of the admins for tickets. Hope to see you there!

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Tuesday, November 17th, 2009

Top 10 Tuesday: Best (worst) Leafs jokes.

I used to know some pretty great hockey jokes in my day, but, living in Toronto, most of them centred around the Leafs. Since a lot of the jokes I used to tell were timely, and had a lot to do with the Leafs being better than other teams in the playoffs (*ahem* that should tell you how old they are), I decided to do some research and find the ten best/worst Leafs jokes floating around today. Is this my way of taking the lazy man’s out for this week’s Top 10 Tuesday? You bet it is! Enjoy!

10. What does Toronto have that Montreal doesn’t?
A. Black and white photos of their last Stanley Cup.

9. Why doesn’t Hamilton have an NHL team?
A: Because then Toronto would want one.

8. I’ve always admired that slogan MLSE came up with, “The Passion That Unites Us All.” You have to give them credit, that’s a pretty clever way of saying, “Misery Loves Company.”

7. As most of you know, Toskala tried to commit suicide last night by standing on the train tracks just south of Dupont. Thankfully, thankfully, the train went through his legs. (I used to tell this joke featuring Patrick Lalime).

6. How are Maple Leafs general managers like beachcombers?
A. They make their living trying to salvage washed up junk.

5. The Toronto Maple Leafs announced today that the entire contents of their trophy case has been stolen. Police are on the lookout for a man carrying a blue and white carpet.

4. Why did Vesa Toskala interrupt two people having sex?
A. He wanted to know what it felt like to stop someone from scoring.

3. Two Canadians died and went to hell. They really enjoyed the heat, which made the devil very angry. So he turned down the heat. Still no change, the Canadians were loving it. This went on for days until it was absolutely freezing in Hell. The devil went to find out why the Canadians were jumping with glee. “Why are you so happy?” the devil asked. The Canadians replied, “Hell froze over, the Leafs won the Stanley Cup!” (Another classic!)

2. What did Billy do after the Leafs won the Stanley Cup?
A. He turned off his PlayStation.

1. Two guys are camping out in the Muskokas, sitting around a fire at night and relaxing. Suddenly, one of them sits bolt upright and shouts, “DAMMIT! The Leafs lost!” His friend, impressed with his friend’s psychic ability, asked, “How do you know?” His friend replied, “It’s after 10:00pm.”

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Tuesday, November 10th, 2009

Top 10 Tuesday: Hockey Lookalikes Part 2

People seemed to really like my first Top 10 Tuesday list of hockey lookalikes, so I decided to try my hand at a second list. The original is still the best, but this one has its moments. #1 is my favourite for obvious reasons! Also, don’t worry I will be posting the last three days of my road blog over the next few days. So, for those of you who haven’t figured out which team I was test driving last week, the wait is almost over! Enjoy!

10. Joe Sakic & Liv Tyler

I’m sorry, Joe! I love you, but you look like a chick…ever so slightly.

9. Bill Daly & Alfred Hitchcock

Good evening…

8. Tie Domi & Damien Cox


You see the resemblance! Don’t lie.

7. Scottie Upshall & Random Little Girl

Is it just me, or does Scottie Upshall always seem like a whiny little bitch?

6. Shawn Horcoff & Sloth from The Goonies

Match made by Mother Pucker Hockey.

5. Jeremy Roenick & A Troll Doll

I used to have a troll doll that looked like Jeremy. When you squeezed its belly it said, “Hug Me!” then laughed and laughed.

4. Chris Drury & Treat Williams

Match made by Jesse Connolly of HockeyBuzz.com

3. Scottie Upshall & Shit

Actually, upon further inspection, Scottie Upshall looks more like a piece of shit.

2. Taylor Pyatt & Deliciousness

Mmmm *CHOMP* OOPS! There I go “sexualizing” the game again haha.

1. The Staal Brothers & The Ginger Kids

“This disease is called Ginger-vitis and it occurs because ginger kids have no souls.” – Eric Cartman

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Tuesday, October 27th, 2009

Top 10 Tuesday: People with too much time on their hands.

I’ve decided to pull the New York edition of Top 10 Tuesday that was going to go up today due to an incident that has been brought to my attention. It seems as though one person decided to take last week’s list too seriously and mount a back door campaign to harass several of my loyal readers, followers, and friends who verbalized their appreciation for it over Twitter. I’ve never had a problem with people expressing their opinion, and I’m not expecting everyone to love what I do here at Psycho Lady Hockey. If you don’t like what you’re reading, then don’t come back and read it again. That should be a concept that even a five year old can understand.

My issue here is that this individual was too gutless to actually tell me that she found the list offensive. I would have respected her opinion. The fact of the matter is I’ve only heard positive feedback from last week’s entry, so it would have been nice to know if there was a humourless minority out there that were offended. Instead of talking to me, the person who actually has the power to take the feedback and use it constructively, she decided to sit on her ass all day, like a horrible mother neglecting her children, and stalk anyone who @ replied to my post on Twitter. For some reason, this individual seems to be on one of those social media power trips that appear to be afflicting the Twitter community above all others. There have been instances in the past where I have seen her tweet to others to unfollow individuals for whatever reason because she seems to think she rules the Twitter universe, and can control the lives of anyone nice enough to follow her. What gives her this power you ask? Well, apparently cracking a thousand followers can lead those of unstable mind to believe that they actually have power and influence in the real world. What is even more amusing is that this individual doesn’t even have a blog, she is just a hockey fan who is addicted to the Internet and spends every waking moment attempting to peer into the lives of others 140 characters at a time.

Another issue I have lies in the hypocrisy of her arguments against me. First of all, one of the things that I find EXTREMELY offensive in the hockey community are fans that seem to think that they have the right to declare who is and is not a real hockey fan. There are all sorts of reasons out there like, not sitting in the nosebleed section, not being able to afford to go to live games, or admitting to being infatuated with a certain player. At some levels, I find these allegations to be cute; like when a Rangers fan thinks a fan on Long Island isn’t a real fan because he is an Islanders fan. I get that. It’s cute. It’s a rivalry thing. BUT when someone, who claims to be pro women’s lib, decides to come out and use the “puck bunny” word against me to prove why I don’t really love the game and treat it like a “meat market,” well, let’s just say that I’m not going to allow anyone to use such misogyny against me.

While Psycho Lady Hockey was only born in January 2009, the fact of the matter is that I have been going on the hockey adventures that you have all been following since I was sixteen years old and finally got my driver’s licence – that’s eight straight years of road trips for those who don’t know how old I am. However, I was a hardcore hockey fan for years before that! So, if anyone says that I’m not a real fan, then (s)he must either be stupid or extremely jealous. And while I won’t undercut my own argument by pointing the not-a-real-fan finger at this individual, I will just say that she has apparently only been following the sport for two years. Bravo, do you want a trophy for your dedication/obsessive compulsive disorder?

Back to the misogyny of “puck bunny” that boils my blood worse than anything in this world. I don’t have a problem with the word “puck bunny,” I have a problem with it being used inappropriately. After writing Down the Rabbit Hole: A Guide to Puck Bunnies and several university papers on “puck bunny” as a misogynistic epithet plaguing women, I have learned to be comfortable with the word, while, at the same time, being a fearless warrior ready to battle anyone who uses it incorrectly or for hate. Some people pass off Psycho Lady Hockey as a puck bunny blog, and that’s fine. They say things like, “Everyone loves a puck bunny” or “She’s the fun-loving puck bunny.” I don’t have a problem with these people, they aren’t using the word in a negative way, and I’m not about to get on my high horse and tear them apart because I think they have the wrong ideas about me. Truthfully, in my research on this subject, I have learned that a heterosexual female hockey fan NOT guilty of “puck bunny” tendencies DOES NOT EXIST –PERIOD! I put quotations around “puck bunny” there because I think a more fitting word is “biological.” To say that any woman is not a hockey fan because she is red blooded and likes to look at some of the players sweat is just as ridiculous as saying women don’t have the capacity to understand sports, and don’t belong in a place outside the kitchen. So, it is interesting that this person would choose to say that my entry was “degrading to women” when she then proceeded to use the most sexist argument against me as a hockey fan.

Quite frankly, while my entry was CLEARLY introduced as a joke and a Halloween special, I am offended as a woman by the stereotypical hockey wife/girlfriend that the majority of players do get involved with. Any woman whose motivation in life is to be plastic and have fake body parts to keep the (stupid) men folk happy (or get ahead in her career) is not only very pathetic, but also an offensive testament to the desolate state of society and the root cause of well rounded, intelligent women being held back. If you are dumb enough to believe that these women are somehow good people because they show up to the mandatory annual wives charity event, then I don’t even know where to begin with what is wrong with you. It’s like a few hours of MANDATORY service makes up for the rest of their lives. Now SOME wives do get involved in charities on their own time, but most don’t, and it’s the ones that don’t that I am addressing in last week’s entry. It’s actually quite comical to me that people are easily blinded by the word “charity.” These are the same sheep that are offended by something (my post) because they think they are supposed to be. Anyway, not all hockey players get involved with these types of women, but an overwhelming majority do, and as a hockey fan it can be difficult at times to respect the players in this game for that very reason. In my entry, I was able to speak to this in a satirical way. If you don’t understand that, then you must be completely ignorant to the game.

Most people are smart enough to have caught on at this point that my Top 10 Tuesday is usually something outlandish intended to be a welcomed change of pace from the rest of the week. I also think that most of my regulars are intelligent enough to understand that Psycho Lady is a character for the most part. I choose not to analyze hockey on my site because I have always been fascinated by the underground subculture of the game. That is the reason I wrote the book, and that is the reason I continue the blog the way that I do. This is not a site you visit to find out who won what game and why – there are thousands of sites out there more than capable of feeding that need. Psycho Lady Hockey is where you come to find out about me. My blog is my story – it says that right in the descriptor. This individual and her minions seem to be too ignorant to understand that NOT writing about hockey stats/analysis doesn’t mean that I CAN’T.

Anyway, I would like to clarify that I am not actually upset over this incident, and the fact that I am writing about it right now should not be misunderstood as this woman having influence over me. I chose to pull today’s Top 10 not to satisfy her or to punish my readers, I just want this incident to have the attention it deserves. Truthfully, I had a LARGE spike in attendance on the day that I posted last week’s list, whether that had something to do with her, I don’t know, but thanks for the traffic! No publicity is bad publicity. Top 10 Tuesday will resume next week.

I am mostly upset by the fact that this individual was causing grief to a handful of you, my readers, followers, and friends. You are very important to me, and I don’t like to hear that someone has been harassing you and demanding that you apologize for being my “fan” or liking what I do. To this woman and her lobotomized minions, please leave my people alone. They are big boys and girls and are intelligent enough to think for themselves, and no amount of bitching or cold-shouldering is going to influence their opinions and perspectives. Truthfully, I should be thanking you for what you are doing because, quite frankly, I don’t want anyone dumb enough to be influenced by your hypocrisy to be reading my site in the first place. So, please, continue what you’re doing. Psycho Lady Hockey is doing just fiiiiiiiiiiiine without you.

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Tuesday, October 20th, 2009

Top 10 Tuesday: Ways to destroy a hockey wife or girlfriend.

So, I wanted to do a special, and ultra disturbing Top 10 Tuesday in the spirit of Halloween. Unfortunately, I’ll be in New York City next week, so I had to move my Halloween entry up a week. This week lists all the ways that I have fantasized, I mean, just thought up right now, to dispose of the heinous bimbos that have attached themselves to our favourite hockey players like the lowly bottom feeding leeches that they are. I’m not a graphic artist, and I don’t have Photoshop, so you will have to deal with my crude Paint drawings! Anyway, I hope you are able to see the humour in this entry, and that you are not overly offended. The disclaimer can be found in my blog title (Psycho Lady). Happy Halloween!

10. Put the b**** on ice.


9. Bend “it” over.

8. Dismember “it” with a hockey skate.

7. Serve “it” for the pregame meal.


6. Bludgeon “it” to death with “its” boyfriend’s stick.

5. Give “it” a flu shot and watch “it” melt.

4. Use Voodoo magic to counter “its” sinister forces.

3. Stab “it” in the implants and see what comes out.


2. Process “it” into delicious hot dog meat. (Get it? ‘Cause “it’s” a sausage wallet?)

1. Push “it” in front of the team bus.

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Tuesday, October 13th, 2009

Top 10 Tuesday: 100th Blog Post Extravaganza!

It’s kind of fitting that my new site would launch at my 100th blogisode. I thought about what the writers of a sit-com would do when their series hit 100 episodes, and decided that I, too, would do a cheesy clips “show” for my first milestone entry. This week’s Top 10 Tuesday lists some of my favourite blog posts since Psycho Lady Hockey was born back in January 2009! So, relive the magic of some of my older misadventures or discover them for the first time! It’s a celebration! Enjoy yourself! Top Photo: This is me as a two year old. I was born a Psycho Lady, and I’ll die a Psycho Lady! Yeah, that’s a beer in my hand.

10. Angry hockey wives and my aversion to Louis Vuitton.

Date: January 30, 2009
Highlight: Hockey wives and girlfriends (WAGs) are at the root of the negative publicity surrounding hockey players. We all know that the players never have the chance to see the ugly/real side of their WAG’s personality, or at least we hope they don’t, because if they do, well, what does that say about them!? For some reason these women feel the need to spend their time wandering around the arena harassing paying customers that are there to support their pay cheques…I mean husbands. I wonder what the head honchos of the National league clubs would have to say to that bit of truth. Perhaps, in the interest of customer service, they’d lock the doors to the wives lounge and keep the beasts in their cage until the games are over. Read More.

9. Hockey Fan or Puck Bunny? The answer is skin deep.
Date:
February 3, 2009
Highlight: One of the first problematic variables in deciphering this equation is the fact that a black and white definition of ‘puck bunny’ just doesn’t exist. To the vast majority of society, a puck bunny is simply a girl who is not interested in the game of hockey, but follows it, regardless, for less admirable reasons. The assumption is not necessarily that this puck bunny gets involved with the players, but that she does not have the capacity to understand sports and is, thus, at the arena because she either A)wants to look like she knows sports to be more appealing to men, or B) thinks the players are cute. It is a commonly held sexist viewpoint that women don’t know sports. “Don’t know” meaning “can’t know.” I don’t know how many times men have tried to talk over my head about sports to my male companions who were completely sports illiterate. It is infuriating! I’m also sure part of this misogyny is rooted in jealousy that women have the chance to experience hockey players on a more intimate level. Of course, then there are those that assume ‘puck bunny’ is the girl that “gets with” the players, or, in the very least, tries. Read More.

8. Since when did, “I play hockey” become a pick up line?
Date:
February 12, 2009
Highlight: The funny thing about this guy was that it seemed like he had this whole thing rehearsed with one of his wingmen. At one point the second guy chimed in with, “You were smarter than I was (for getting a scholarship), I shouldn’t have played in the O.” (OHL players cannot play in the NCAA). OK, I don’t even know where to begin with this self proclaimed major junior hockey star. The wingman can only be described as the nonthreatening type – a lover of poetry with a passion for crash diets, puppies, and MTV reality dramas. There was no way! There was just no way! Read More.

7. This is why you don’t get into cars with strange boys.
Date:
February 13, 2009
Highlight: From the back seat of the only car I have ever seen dirtier than mine, this story began to play back in my mind over and over and over again. I wasn’t worried so much about prison; my major concern was the status of my passport! What would I, the psycho hockey addict, do if I couldn’t cross the border on a biweekly basis? I wouldn’t even be able to go to hockey games in Buffalo! I’d be limited to six regular season Flyers games a year! That’s just unacceptable. I would die a thousand slow painful deaths! I started examining the handles on the door of the car trying to formulate some type of escape tactic, but then the vehicle came to a halt and we were home safe. Well safe enough. I still had to deal with the two infants. Read More.

6. Women love hockey fights? No kidding (sarcasm).
Date:
February 26, 2009
Highlight: It seems the hockey fan majority, the men, seem to think that the rough stuff can only be fully appreciated by a y-chromosome and excessive amounts of Testosterone. I remember back in my WWE days, grades seven through nine, I could not understand why it was the guys in my class that liked wrestling. Let’s see, wrestling entails a bunch of big men, greased up, jumping on each other while wearing speedos…hmm. Can someone please tell me what the guys are getting out of that? It’s the same thing with UFC, though I have to admit there is nothing more unattractive than two men kicking each other (unless, of course, it’s Chuck Norris delivering a clean round house to the face!). So, when a bunch of hockey stars start sweating, and shoving, and punching with chests heaving, is it really that surprising that the women are the first ones to jump out of their seats, panties in fist? Read More.

5. The end is nigh: Boston II (Day 1)
Date:
March 8, 2009
Highlight: Everything that could have gone wrong on my way to Boston on Monday did go wrong. Murphy’s Law. To start off the day I was fully searched at the border – twice! I was searched on misogynistic grounds that women A) can’t be sports fans, B) can’t be self-reliant, and C) can’t do things without a man. You can imagine how hard it was for me to hold my tongue and be pleasant while they attempted to find the drugs I had smuggled in the car. Apparently, I can’t have a life if I don’t have a boyfriend, that’s nice. Should I join a convent? P.S. US Border Security, nice job profiling. I’ve never even smoked a cigarette in my life! I had forgotten there were about seven or eight copies of my book in the trunk of the car. Yeah, women don’t understand/like sports, hmmm? A bunch of young border guys started coming in the room, and saying “hiiiiiiiii” with knowing, 15 year old, hard-on smiles – did you enjoy riffling through my panties? Read More.

4.Everybody gets one: Flames @ Pens
Date:
April 28, 2009
Highlight: At the bar some of the Penguins were celebrating their victory over Calgary. At this point the alcohol had really hit me. After my trip to Anaheim I was not exactly man-friendly, specifically hockey player man- friendly, and the alcohol left me unable to hide this fact. Unfortunately, I took my aggression out on one of the Penguins. I kept referring to him as “teenstache;” to his face…A LOT. “Shut up, teenstache!” “Nobody cares, teenstache! “Shhh, teenstache!” Please consider that during the entire spectacle I was wearing a Calgary Flames cowgirl hat! Read More.

3. Offseason is dating season!
Date:
August 16, 2009
Highlight: We were being seated in a backyard patio, so we didn’t see who our waitress was until it was too late – too late for him that is haha! Our waitress comes over and, to my surprise, they know each other. He didn’t look impressed, but he was being civil. So, we order our dessert and beverages and she takes off. Naturally, I had to ask him what that was all about. He says, “She was one of the puck bunnies back in [OHL team city]. *lowers voice* You know, one of the baaaad ones.” I started laughing and told him we could go somewhere else if he was uncomfortable. He didn’t want to go and began regaling me with tales of the girl’s (and her friend’s – he claimed that the bad puck bunnies always travel in twos) extra-curricular activities…if you catch my drift. He only interrupted himself every so often to lie to me and tell me that TSN just announced that they traded my Flyers crush to the Kings to piss me off. Apparently, it’s unpatriotic of me not to follow a Canadian team – you can probably guess where he plays (or played at the time). Read More.

2. Hockey Anecdote #45634758: How my mom found out I went to the 2009 IIHF World Championship.
Date:
September 14, 2009
Highlight: For months nobody suspected a thing, until a careless mistake let the cat out of the bag…literally. I was visiting my parents in Waterloo (a.k.a RIM/Blackberry/Balsillie Mecca for those of you engrossed in the Phoenix drama), when a receipt from Zurich fell out of my purse. That’s right, I don’t clean out my purse. I didn’t notice that this happened, and went to bed for the night. The next morning my Mom was set on attack mode. Read More.

1. Down the Rabbit Hole (2004) Quiz: What Type of Puck Bunny Are You?
Date:
July 7, 2009
Highlight: As bonus material, I thought it would be fun to include a quiz assessing the level of someone’s puck-bunnyism. After reading the content of my book, do you suspect that you may be a puck bunny? Have you noticed a budding cottontail on your backside? If you have any suspicions that you are a puck bunny, then you need to enlighten yourself and figure out which type you are. I have constructed a series of questions to determine what type of puck bunny you may be. So, answer honestly and enjoy. Read More.

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