Just when you thought Puck Bunny Month was over here we are again. It shouldn’t shock anyone at this point when I say that studying hockey subculture has been a passion of mine since high school. I wrote a book about puck bunnies when I was eighteen, which signed on with a New York based publishing house. I wrote several university papers about puck bunnies and hockey culture on topics ranging from the language of hockey players to the term ‘puck bunny’ and misogyny. And then, of course, I started this blog so that I could have a forum to further explore this culture.

Lately there has been much blogging going on about puck bunnies. I’d like to think that Puck Bunny Month might have had something to do with this, and I may have been rubbing off on some people. However, just a few moments ago I was sent a link to another blog post tearing puck bunnies apart and listing a new form of puck bunny plaguing the female fan. This was called the puck bunny/fan “hybrid;” a girl who knows everything there is to know about hockey, but easily reverts to puck bunny tendencies at the arena. Now I always love to hear new theories about puck bunnies, especially discoveries of new species (I discovered fifteen types when I wrote my book), however, in this particular situation, I got a little annoyed, and the end result is this post. This puck bunny hybrid isn’t a puck bunny at all – she’s a hockey fan. Let’s recap: she loves the game, knows everything about it, but also has a vagina, and likes boys. Sounds like a hockey fan that just happens to be a girl and doesn’t know how to magically turn biology off when she’s at the arena. Shame on her for noticing that the player that made that wicked check was also good looking.

The problem with ‘puck bunny’ as a term is that the definition changes from person to person even though the official Oxford definition is very basic. Officially a puck bunny is merely a female who follows hockey MORE for the players than the actual game. Do you notice how it says “more” and not “only” for the players? At no time does the dictionary say that these women aren’t fans, and no where does it say that they seek to perform sexual favours for the players. After all, there are men who are just as flirtatious around hockey players as women can be.

As someone who has devoted so much time and study to the logical examination of the puck bunny, I find posts like this disheartening. It’s almost like my message has fallen on deaf ears. Of course, I couldn’t tell you if these other authors have ever read my stuff, but still it makes me feel like I’m really fighting an uphill battle (when fighting wasn’t my intention) trying to play devil’s advocate and provide the only voice for the underdog. So, I decided to post a list of things to consider before attempting to write an article about puck bunnies.

1. Get your definition straight. True puck bunnies love the players more than the game. That’s what sets them apart (if anything). They do still love the game, but they really love the players. Puck bunnies are not women who screw the players. Yes, some do, but not all do. That’s like saying all women are whores. There are just as many non-hockey fans that are willing to throw themselves at a professional hockey player just because he is one. And I say non-fan in the sense that they actually don’t like, watch, or follow hockey, not in the catty, “hockey players like her so she must not be a real fan” sense. If she doesn’t follow hockey, can this groupie really be a “puck bunny?”

2. Do NOT seek to blame an unknown woman (puck bunny) for the reason that you aren’t taken “seriously” as a hockey fan. The world of sport has always been male dominated. That’s a pretty obvious fact. Women may never be taken as “seriously” as the men in this business, and that is not the fault of any woman who pursues happiness in this realm. I worked for a pro hockey team and I encountered this at the office all the time; not just at the arena as a fan. I wish I had given myself this advice when I was writing my book. My motivation was to show the world what a puck bunny really was, and how I had been mistreated as one. The first draft of the book was a lot more aggressive than the edited version which I sent to publishers because of this. So, if you seek to write a logical paper about puck bunnies, then you need to sit back and remove yourself from the situation. A group of potentially mythical women are not responsible for your misrepresentation.

3. Understand that ‘puck bunny’ is only an offensive term SOME of the time. This may be a hard concept to grasp, but it’s true. Puck bunnies exist on a spectrum due to the fact that there are so many types that yield so many definitions. The two polar extremes consist of the most stereotypical manifestations known to the hockey community. At the one end we have the women who fall into the most common category – the sluts. This is the variety that actually seeks carnal knowledge of the players. On the other end we have the innocent puck bunnies; girls who love the players, perhaps even on an almost maternal level, who never miss a home game, but also like to bake cookies for the players, and fantasize about holding their hands. These ladies are also the rare breed that actually embrace the term and refers to themselves as such. When all is said and done, and the unofficial variables have been put aside, this variety may be the ONLY true form of the puck bunny out there, and their numbers are dwindling as you read in my Puck Bunny Month posts. I suppose, then, that I could make a sweeping statement by saying, if this is the only TRUE puck bunny, then ‘puck bunny’ is not a naturally offensive or derogatory word at all.

One thing is for sure in all of this, and that is that ‘puck bunny’ is no longer just the misogynistic tool used by insecure male fans to keep women out of this world, but rather it is used mainly as a weapon for women on women hate. If you have been mislabeled a puck bunny chances are you were spotted sitting too close to the ice and are likely a very beautiful girl. Congratulations. The ironic thing in all of this is that the she-beasts that spend $100 to go to an NHL game just to look for puck bunnies to hate on are the women that come through as the artificial fan/puck bunny. After all, what do you care that a certain player is staring at the brunette sitting behind the bench, it’s not like YOU want him, right?

When it comes down to it, being a fan of any sport is supposed to be fun! It’s supposed to be something that takes your mind off the low points of your actual life. It’s just a game. Sometimes I wonder what the players think of intense fans or the hockey blogging community. I wonder if they think it’s funny that regular people put so much stock into their lives and careers. But anyway, if you aren’t at the point where you can just ignore what the jealous she-pig, or the drunken idiot on his sixth pint of arena beer called you (without even knowing you), then I personally don’t think that you are secure enough in your hockey fandom to even attempt to tackle this controversial subject with a clear head. We are all hockey fans. Believe in yourself, and tell everyone else to fuck off – you don’t owe anyone an explanation.