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Tag: NHL

Friday, July 23rd, 2010

Top 10 Tuesday: Things I won’t miss about the National Hockey League.

Last week you got to check out my list of the things I will miss most about the National Hockey League during my 2010-11 season long sabbatical in South Korea. This week should be no surprise that I’m listing the ten things I won’t miss while I’m away. It was hard to actually come up with ten things! I also didn’t want to bore people by bringing up old conflicts again, but what can I say, it takes a lot of bullshit to drive a hockey addict to the other side of the world for a much needed vacation from the game. So, don’t be surprised that this list is a lot more venomous than the last. Try to enjoy. P.S. Better late than never! P.P.S. The top photo should not be misinterpreted that Sean Avery is one of the things that I won’t miss about the NHL because I definitely will miss him!

10. Ticket Prices

Especially at the Air Canada Centre and Madison Square Garden – Yowza!

9. Female puck bunnies, I mean… hockey fans… that pay good money to go to a hockey game (or not go), just so they can complain about the fact that my seats were close to the ice to rally support for their she-pig/mother-of-3 hate campaigns.

It would be more valuable for you to just focus on the game, ladies. Perhaps, you’ll learn that this season when I’m not around.

8. The Philadelphia Flyers feed on NHL Center Ice

It’s always the worst! Maybe it will be fixed when I get back.

7. Hockey wives and girlfriends

Particularly those of the rank-hag variety that are in the habit of illegally posting my personal shit online because they are insecure and have man hands and the face of a 40 year old football (only much, much bigger).

6. Liquid Gold

$13 for a domestic beer? Cripes!

5. Pre warm-up jitters.

Don’t ask me why, but before every game I have an internal freak out like I’m the one about to take to the ice in front of 20 000 people. I have not gone a single game without it.

4. The Springtime bandwagon rush.

You couldn’t be bothered in October, but now you’ll steal my tickets right from under me? Me no dink doh!

3. The “situation” in Phoenix.

Enough with the empty threats! When did Winnipeg get a second chance, let alone a million?

2. Twitter-Blog stalkers.

Among others.

1. Jock Sniffers.

“Friends” that will throw you under the bus if they think it means an NHL player might like them more if they were ever to meet.

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Thursday, March 25th, 2010

Farewell Tour (Day 1): Once more with feeling.

Buffalo, NY So long, farewell, auf weidersehen, good bye! It’s the moment the Anti-Fan Club has been waiting for – my departure from the world of hockey as only we in North America know it! Yes, I have reviewed all of my relocation options and have opted to take the South Korea route. You’re welcome. The rest of you are probably wondering how the Psycho of all hockey fans could stand to be away from hockey for an entire season (at least), let alone volunteer to do it. Well, the top photo has helped to ease my pain immensely.

Truthfully, I need the break from hockey. You’ve probably heard that tired complaint by certain hockey fans that like to go around locating and identifying “real” hockey fans. Like the very fact that someone enjoys watching the game isn’t enough to make them a fan. I’m of the attitude, however, that it’s not a matter of real fans versus fake fans, but rather hockey fandom to varying degrees. For someone like me, I am a hockey fan to a very high degree. Not because I have hundreds of jerseys or autographed sticks, or because I give people a Twitter play-by-play of every game I’m watching, but rather because I am very involved in the game. When you study the culture of the game, as I have for the last eight years of my life, you become completely submerged in that world. The culture of hockey became my culture, and it was hard not to notice the game everywhere I turned in my everyday life. So, even when the offseason arrives, and the players are off golfing and traveling the world, I’m still living in this land of ice and hoes.

This season there has been a lot of unpleasantness and distractions from the Anti-Fan Club abusing my readers and even threatening their careers, to scandalous rumours. In some instances, I felt almost criminal attending NHL games, and my road trips were starting to make me tired instead of happy. I guess it’s true that you can have too much of a good thing because all signs suggest that I have burnt out. Of course, there has been a lot on my mind this season as well. I entered the post academic real world (finally), and experienced the loss that comes with the end of an era in my hockey life, too. My heart just wasn’t in it like it used to be this season, and I think a lot of that has to do with the amount of effort and energy I had to expel with the Arizona Prophecy for the last two months of the 08-09 NHL season. At this point I need more than a vacation to heal.

My world was starting to feel very small – like it only consisted of thirty (NHL) cities. As it is, I have hardly done any traveling outside of those points of interest since my road show began. And, so, I decided to see if I could handle being away from the NHL for an extended period of time. I had the option to stay in North America, but I knew I couldn’t be trusted here. I would just get that sudden urge to run off at a moment’s notice to LA, or Vancouver, or Tampa as I always do, and knowing me I would go with it. This doesn’t mean that I’ll stop watching the NHL, I will definitely have to invest in that Game Center or whatever it is people are using online, and I will make damn sure to hit up some games in the Asia League while I’m over there. By the way, this will be the third continent I have lived in – Europe and North America (duh) being the first two! The point is to learn to be an isolated fan. The fan who preserves without being at the arena because, after all, not all hockey fans can be rink side as I have been so fortunate enough to have experienced many times over. Don’t worry, I will attempt to keep Psycho Lady Hockey interesting with this new perspective from thirteen time zones away (from Toronto)!

But enough about the change of life that is upon me, let’s talk about my Farewell Tour. I have only a few weeks left here in North America, so I wanted to give the NHL one final push, and see some of those rinks I haven’t had a chance to see yet – you know – in case I meet some hunky Irishman or Australian while I’m away and never return *purrs!* The journey begins today in Buffalo, but, alas, there aren’t any Sabres games scheduled at HSBC Arena tonight, or I would so be there right now! HSBC Arena is one of my faves – $5 beer!! No, the hockey road show won’t really begin until the 29th. I am bound for Manhattan in the morning (I know – I was just there two weeks ago) to celebrate my sister’s 18th birthday in style! Unfortunately, that means I’m with my entire family for the next few days, and what’s worse my MOTHER booked us all in the same hotel room (WHAT?!). As it is I’m hiding in the bathroom while I’m writing this, and using the sink for a desk! At least there is some solace in knowing that we’ll be staying at Ritz for the rest of the trip.

Of course, there is always that slight 1% chance that something monumental happens to make me change my mind and cancel my decision to venture off into the mysterious East. Who knows what that could possibly be, an offer I can’t refuse, or a grand romantic gesture perhaps? Only time will tell, but the sand is quickly running through the hourglass. Wish me luck on my final NHL extravaganza. I hope this will be a road trip for us all to remember!

Roll the credits…

Most memorable road track: Philadelphia (Flyers) 2008-09!

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Wednesday, January 20th, 2010

Chicago (Day 3): Snowstorms and lacy things.

I rolled out of bed pretty late on that Monday. I was feeling kind of lazy and lost the will to do anything crazy in my usual form. I had been toying with the idea of either continuing on to Minnesota, or heading south to Dallas. I think I crave the adventure maybe more than I crave the actual hockey. Unfortunately, I was ill equipped to embark upon another “mystical six game road trip” like I had spontaneously mounted last season at the beginning of March. So, I decided that a trip to Victoria’s Secret was all the excitement I was going to have that day.

I ended up checking out of the hotel way later than I had expected. I was watching HBO or something while I was packing, and He’s Just Not that Into You came on. I was very against the whole idea of that movie when I first heard about it. I really hate all that self-help dating stuff, especially considering it’s usually based on the experience of the individual, and centres around women having to modify their behaviour to be even remotely worthy of any man. I won’t go off on one of THOSE tangents, though. And, like I said, I don’t read those books and haven’t read this particular book either. All I know is that my friends that do subscribe to this brand of garbage, basically turn into walking doormats the moment a penis enters the vicinity. Whatever works, right? I’m personally not a doormat, nor do I find doormats attractive. So, I would definitely rather be without someone who wants that type of person *ahem* stereotypical hockey wife.

Anyway, when the movie was about to come on, I reached for the remote to flick it off, but had a curious change of heart. I thought that I’d see how this movie handled all the grade A advice staining the pages of the book. I was only going to watch it for twenty minutes or so while I finished getting my stuff together, but I have to admit that it was surprisingly good. Long after I had packed and put my coat on to leave, I could not pull myself away from it. I had to see how it ended. I was literally perched on the end of the bed in my winter coat, boots, and with car keys in hand for a solid hour at least! What I found interesting about the movie was that all the main characters ended up being “exceptions.” I kind of like that big F you the writers appear to have sent to the author of the book by doing that. After all, what good can the theories and “rules” be if they can’t even hold up?

At 1PM, I finally left my hotel and was bound for the big Victoria’s Secret on Michigan Ave. Surprise! They just happened to be having their Semi Annual Sale. I knew this was going to be more than a quick run in to pick up a new bra. I spent two whole hours in that place, and came away with some gems like the top photo suggests. Mine’s black, though, and it looks better on her, I’m pretty sure. It was great for me to actually have something to declare when the border guard asked me how much I spent on goods. They usually find it suspicious that I never go shopping when I’m away on my trips. Sorry, I just really HATE that activity. This time around, my border guard was a femme, and we had a nice little chat about the sale.

At three, I was back on the road and headed directly into the same hideous weather I hit on my initial journey to the Windy City. Luckily, I stumbled upon Easy Street somewhere in the-middle-of-nowhere, Michigan. Literally. I stopped for gas in some no name spot, which happened to be off a meaningless road with Easy St. labeled on the street sign. So, that’s where it is! Unfortunately, the streets weren’t easy for very long. I still had the 402 to conquer, and, of course, it did not falter in providing me with another one of its usual winter whiteout challenges.

What I love about driving, even in terrible snowstorms, is that the road gives me a place to think. Naturally, finding an NHL team to call my own was a major topic of internal debate during this trip. In my head there were really only three candidates, the Ducks, the Leafs, and the Coyotes. The Ducks have a lot of things that I like, but this trip made me feel like the team and I don’t have enough history to keep a long distance bond like ours alive for long. The Leafs and I go way back. They are the team I grew up with, and we’ve been through a lot. I was there when the team was hot, just like I was there when they were not. And the support was mutual. The Leafs were there for me when I had no one. I sometimes wonder what I would have done without my Saturday night Leafs game at certain points in my life. However, the home games are ridiculously overpriced and tickets are hard to come by. Granted, I’d spend more money paying for a flight, accommodations, and a hockey ticket in the Pacific Division, but the Leafs don’t satisfy the adventurer in me seeing as it only takes me ten minutes to get to the rink. Then there’s Phoenix. I don’t have much to say in their favour at this point, but something someone told me a month and a half ago has played over and over again in my mind.

A woman felt that she needed to weigh in on that whole Arizona Prophecy thing. She told me she lost me at the point that I decided to ditch the Coyotes. Basically, she felt that everything seemed to say that Arizona was where I needed to be, so, no matter what, I shouldn’t have pulled myself away. Maybe that’s true, and maybe it’s not. It’s hard to know what events to pay attention to and what to filter out. She makes some sense, but I don’t know if I can really go back at this point. Going to see a team play, just so you can cheer against them, is not all that enjoyable. Trust me.

By the time I pulled into the drive way at my parents’ house, I made no decision about my new NHL allegiance. Instead, I began to get some crazy ideas in my head that I might branch out altogether. I was thinking that maybe it was time to take a little vacation from the NHL, and switch leagues for a month or so – for my sanity. Luckily, the Olympic break is right around the corner, so the timing couldn’t be more perfect. Stay tuned for details.

Roll the credits…

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