Yes, it’s very sad business indeed that another member of the hockey community has fallen. Yadda, yadda, yadda [insert the other politically correct things that I’m supposed to say here]. But for the sake of time, I will not repeat the facts that you have likely read six or seven times by now regarding the colourful hockey career of Bob Probert. The untimely death of Bob Probert saddens me on an unusual level, and by that I mean not just because another hockey icon is no longer with us. His passing is a painful reminder that the legendary hockey beauty is becoming a thing of the past.

Probert had his ups and downs in his personal life, and had built up a name for himself as a bad ass both on and off the ice. Only a true beauty would be unable (for a period) to attend Canadian road games with his NHL club as a result of criminal indiscretions. Perhaps I’m of the old school mentality, but I miss the way hockey players used to be. You know, back when hockey players were the blue collar bunch of the professional sporting circuit (or at least still acted like it), and would get into all kinds of dirty scandals.

Of course I’m strictly referring to the types of scandals that one can be proud of. Not the scandals that our NHL “stars” get into today, which are more embarrassing than anything. I mean, come on! Really?! From ridiculous confrontations with taxi drivers in Buffalo to posing naked on a webcam in Toronto, today’s hockey players are nothing more than spoiled brats with internships at Vogue, and a relationship history of breast implants and sloppy seconds. It seems to me that hockey players today are more concerned with shopping, listening to girly music, and trying to be the hockey equivalent of David Beckham. And let me say this in a language that even today’s hockey star can understand, and by that I mean Paris Hilton speak, “That is so not hot!” (She says that right? Or something like that??)

Bring back the messy hockey vets that served jail time, and fought to be the last man standing without the safety of a bucket. Bring back the tough guys that proved night after night that they were working hard for the money. Down with the weakling forwards that get sidelined every season, and have to resort to dating pig-skanks and/or bragging about orgies on radio shows to try to prove to the world that they know how to play hockey. So pathetic! Where are the Paul Newmans (in Slap Shot) of the league? I think the game would benefit greatly if these players had a couple zeros knocked off of their salaries. But that’s just MY opinion. The only thing better than a nice ass is a bad ass!

Bob Probert
June 5 1965 – July 5 2010
NHL Beauty.