I used to know some pretty great hockey jokes in my day, but, living in Toronto, most of them centred around the Leafs. Since a lot of the jokes I used to tell were timely, and had a lot to do with the Leafs being better than other teams in the playoffs (*ahem* that should tell you how old they are), I decided to do some research and find the ten best/worst Leafs jokes floating around today. Is this my way of taking the lazy man’s out for this week’s Top 10 Tuesday? You bet it is! Enjoy!
10. What does Toronto have that Montreal doesn’t?
A. Black and white photos of their last Stanley Cup.
9. Why doesn’t Hamilton have an NHL team?
A: Because then Toronto would want one.
8. I’ve always admired that slogan MLSE came up with, “The Passion That Unites Us All.” You have to give them credit, that’s a pretty clever way of saying, “Misery Loves Company.”
7. As most of you know, Toskala tried to commit suicide last night by standing on the train tracks just south of Dupont. Thankfully, thankfully, the train went through his legs. (I used to tell this joke featuring Patrick Lalime).
6. How are Maple Leafs general managers like beachcombers?
A. They make their living trying to salvage washed up junk.
5. The Toronto Maple Leafs announced today that the entire contents of their trophy case has been stolen. Police are on the lookout for a man carrying a blue and white carpet.
4. Why did Vesa Toskala interrupt two people having sex?
A. He wanted to know what it felt like to stop someone from scoring.
3. Two Canadians died and went to hell. They really enjoyed the heat, which made the devil very angry. So he turned down the heat. Still no change, the Canadians were loving it. This went on for days until it was absolutely freezing in Hell. The devil went to find out why the Canadians were jumping with glee. “Why are you so happy?” the devil asked. The Canadians replied, “Hell froze over, the Leafs won the Stanley Cup!” (Another classic!)
2. What did Billy do after the Leafs won the Stanley Cup?
A. He turned off his PlayStation.
1. Two guys are camping out in the Muskokas, sitting around a fire at night and relaxing. Suddenly, one of them sits bolt upright and shouts, “DAMMIT! The Leafs lost!” His friend, impressed with his friend’s psychic ability, asked, “How do you know?” His friend replied, “It’s after 10:00pm.”
