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Tag: hockey addicts

Thursday, January 28th, 2010

Coyotes@Red Wings 24 Style – Bambi Does MotorCity.

Since January 26th was the first birthday of Psycho Lady Hockey, it seemed only fitting that I celebrate the occasion with a hockey game. (Did you know that it was Wayne Gretzky’s birthday that day, too? I feel special!) I wasn’t feeling too adventurous, so I figured a game close to home would be the best. I’ve been to Detroit several times for games, including Phoenix games. It’s a usual haunt for me. So, anyone who may have “questioned” why I would have gone there would clearly have just been looking for a pointless excuse to open communication with me – I figure.

Anyway, a few days before the game, Bambi begged and pleaded with me to let her go to the game in my stead. I was pretty leery about this given Bambi has a terrible track record at hockey arenas. And I’m not talking in the sense that she is bad luck for one team or the other, but rather, sometimes, she takes the puck bunny behaviour a little too far. The last time Bambi was at a game, she was so taken with the fact that one of the players kept smiling at her (and I have to admit, he was a total babe), that, upon him scoring in the remaining five minutes of the game, she ripped her top off and started waving it around her head like a lasso. I should also point out that she neglected to wear a bra to this event. And I should also-also point out that this was a minor league game! It has been years since I have let her go to another game with good reason.

For those of you who don’t know Bambi, she is a raging puck bunny who embraces the term and the lifestyle. But don’t be fooled by that fact, she still knows a shitload about hockey. She is a bleach blonde, fake tanned, wannabe Barbie doll stripper, and that’s why we love her. She can be a bit self-centred, bitchy, and in many ways evil, but I think that’s all part of her appeal. To get to know Bambi, make sure you click here to follow her on Twitter. Don’t forget to follow Carmen as well, so the poor girl doesn’t get a complex that nobody likes a daywalker… I mean…red head.

Take it away, Bambi.

OK, so I don’t even know what I’m supposed to say here. I was told to take pictures of myself every hour, and that’s it. Whatever. I left the T-dot extra early. I had to sneak away while Carm was in the shower, so she wouldn’t cramp my style. Hello, sometimes hot guys try to pick you up on the highway, and I really don’t need a head full of ginger cock blocking me, thanks. I didn’t see too many prospects, though, there were these two guys working at the Esso when I stopped for gas that just WOULD NOT STOP STARING. Take a picture, right?

The border guard was hot, but a total douche bag. He thought I looked dangerous or some shit. He asked me if I had ever been arrested. Umm for what, buddy? All the illegal porn you’re currently fantasizing about me doing in your head right at this moment? Please, let me through already, so you can take a Jergens break. It was kind of funny that while I was crossing the border to come back to Canada, they asked me similar questions. Did I have pepper spray on me? I can see how that would be a legitimate concern. They obviously thought I needed to know how to defend myself against an onslaught of negative male attention. Little did they know that negative male attention is my favourite!

The game was wicked awesome! Psycho and Carm were texting me saying how jealous they were that I was at the Joe and they weren’t. I’d like to point out that I’m pretty sure the Coyotes won because of me. The entire friggin’ team was staring down my shirt all night! And let me tell you, what I’ve got going on down there inspires great things. You’re welcome, Phoenix.

That’s all I really have to say, I’m supposed to pick a song now for the “credits” or something lame like that…

10 AM Stole the keys from Carm and heading off to D-Rock. I know what you’re thinking, and yes, they are real.

11 AM Stopped at the ‘Rents to drop off some ish. No one was home, so I left them a friendly note on the fridge.

12 PM Attempting to take a picture of myself in the mirror. FAIL.

1 PM I don’t know why people always think I’m up to no good…

2 PM Great Success!

3 PM Psycho told me to be cautious if I felt like I was receiving some type of sign. Between 3 and 4 PM I started randomly taking pictures of the radio. I came out with three pictures: Trouble, Phoenix, Warning. How interesting.

4 PM Stopped for some Lupper just before the bridge. It’s like no matter where I go, Carmen is always right there with me!

5 PM Sitting in front of the Joe. I got bored, so I decided to send some assholish text messages to Grand Rapids with hilarious results.

6 PM Me and my Jungle Juice!

7 PMOne of the few moments this kid wasn’t all over my stuff. It was like he knew me or something. Probably in his dreams LOL!

8 PM My homeboy,Todd Bertuzzi!

9 PM Random view from my seat! HOTT!

10 PMHome again. More of me, me, me, me!

11 PM Stupid biatch working the McDonald’s behind PUCK MASTERS screwed up my order. I was too hungry and cold to go in and complain, though. Anyway, sorry people, but I lost interest in the whole “24″ project at this point. Going on road trips by yourself is HARD. I don’t know how Psycho Lady does it…seriously!

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Tuesday, January 26th, 2010

Top 10 Tuesday: Another year older, another year sexier.

Happy birthday to me! Happy birthday to me! It’s hard to believe that there has already been a full year of Psycho Lady Hockey in the history books. I have had some great and some horrible memories of these first 365 days. This week’s list recounts some of the greatest and more significant moments that this Psycho Lady has experienced since I first opened that account on Blogger not so long ago. Buckle your seatbelts for another cheesy clips installment of Top 10 Tuesday! Enjoy!

10. First Blog Entry

For a couple months I had been contemplating starting a blog. After the producers and the possible TV shows, I was advised to create a site as a place to post my research material while I was off on my hockey excursions. On January 26, 2009, Psycho Lady Hockey was born. Writing that first blog entry on my life in hockey up until the starting point of the site took me hours. I don’t think I have ever been so nervous about something I was writing before that post – 30 page university papers included! Luckily, after my first few posts, I started to loosen up, and just have fun with the content that you have all grown to love, or obsessively hate. Either way.

9. Saved and Nearly Killed by My Flyers Fuzzy Dice

Technically, being saved by my Flyers fuzzy dice happened a couple weeks before the birth of this site, however, the tale was the topic of my third blog post. Speeding on my way to Philadelphia, I was pulled over by Officer McHotterson, who used my Flyers dice as a way to avoid giving me a pretty hefty speeding ticket. Two months later, in Newark, these same dice attracted some unwanted attention from some crazed Devils fans. I was beginning to understand the magnitude of the New York area fandom. Like I’ve said many times, I haven’t seen a rivalry as intense as Islanders-Rangers-Devils. They love to hate each other, and everyone else, even if that team is nowhere to be found.

8. Arizona Prophecy

It’s probably impossible for any of you to actually grasp the Arizona Prophecy because I’ve kept quite a few details out of my posts. Nevertheless, the Arizona Prophecy prompted severe action from me because of the timing of the events. As a hockey fan, I was going to be traveling for hockey no matter what. It didn’t seem like such a bad thing that I switch to a team that was located in an area that I was supposedly linked to in some way. It’s kind of like those forwards you get in your inbox that promise that if you don’t pass it on to twenty people, bad luck will befall you. You know it’s highly unlikely that you’re going to be miserable for the next ten years if you don’t pass it on, but part of you keeps thinking, “What if I just delete this email and horrible things DO happen to me for the next ten years.” Sure it might not happen, but, if it did, wouldn’t you kick yourself knowing that this simple act may have prevented the misfortune. I guess that’s kind of how I approached the Arizona Prophecy. All I needed was a hockey team; Phoenix just provided me with the insurance of keeping all my bases covered.

7. Mystical 6 Game Road Trip

My first major adventure after the switch in team allegiance. The mystical six game roadie happened spontaneously after a two day trip to Boston, to see the Flyers play, turned into an eleven day quest. For these eleven days, I was pretty much out of contact with the world. My family had to resort to tracking me via Psycho Lady Hockey, just to see where I was. Ah, the days before my next game information required top secret clearance. For the first time in my life, hockey began to feel like a life or death thing. I traveled by car, rental car, and planes between Boston, Buffalo, New York, Detroit, and New Jersey. This was definitely one of the craziest, and most sleep deprived trips of my life! Thank goodness for over packing! This event also brought the first wave of Psycho Lady fans to the surface. Until that point, I had only heard from the odd reader. But once I began posting about this adventure, I had messages flooding in demanding to know what happened next.

6. Infamy in Pittsburgh

After a rough and regretful trip to Anaheim last season, I arrived in Pittsburgh tired, hungry, and with dysfunctional hair extensions. We buzzed around downtown Pittsburgh looking for a place for me to get emergency hair surgery (seeing as I looked like a scarecrow with my Calgary Flames Cowgirl hat). After the operation, we had but a few precious moments to get to the rink, and made the first mistake of downing a bottle of bubbly in our haste. The game is a blur of free beer, nachos, and fans whispering about drunk Canadians. After the game, I unleashed the fury on an unsuspecting Pittsburgh Penguin, only to wind up lying in a bed in one of Britney Spears’s tour buses. The next morning was unpleasant to say the least.

5. New Mission

Up until the mystical six game road trip, I had only been traveling out of convenience as a super fan. Seeing as my team was Philly, and I lived in Toronto, I basically only traveled to the most unchallenging locations to see my team play. I tried not to miss any Flyers games in Montreal, Ottawa, Buffalo, and Toronto. But other than those cities, Philadelphia was really the only location I was frequenting. After I switched teams, and went on this crazy adventure, I started to realize that visiting all the arenas at least once is something that I would really enjoy doing! This new mission also gave me an idea for a new book, however, I don’t think it’s fair for me to even begin writing it until the last eleven rinks are under my belt!

4. Taking the Road Show Over Seas

In another one of my crazed moves of the 08-09 NHL season, I found myself on a last minute flight to Zurich for the IIHF World Championship. Let me tell you, going to Europe by yourself can really get lonely. I was watching a lot of Euro MTV a.k.a. one of two English speaking channels (the other being CNN). The most amusing thing about this trip was that I didn’t tell anyone that I was going. Instead I told my family that I was in Pittsburgh for the Flyers series during the playoffs. I chose Pittsburgh instead of Montreal because I knew that if my family thought I was in the States, they wouldn’t bother trying to call my cell phone, thus, not hearing the give away beeping sound that you receive on calls to Europe. No one caught onto my lie for three whole months, until a German receipt fell out of my purse, and I was found out.

3. Welcome to Twitter

At the end of June, I decided to finally join Twitter. I didn’t really see what the point of Twitter was for someone who didn’t have her own business or anything like that, until I realized that I could use it to meet other hockey fans. I don’t think the offseason will ever be the same again. Meeting hockey fans from all over the world made those normally (emotionally) volatile three months a lot more bearable. Twitter also became a great way to compliment my work on Psycho Lady Hockey. If you’re an avid reader, but not following me on Twitter, you should be. It will help you bridge some of the gaps!

2. Psycho Lady Hockey Becomes Too Popular

Apparently. By early October, the jealous underbelly of wannabe puck bunnies began to come out of the woodwork in an attempt to “destroy” me, I guess. Textbook puck bunny behaviour. Hate on anything that might be getting what they not-so-secretly desire. From stalking me daily both on my blog and on Twitter, to spreading rumours about things their mental disorders thought they read on my site, to mounting campaigns to get the other lowly mirror-breakers to join forces in a “mass” unfollow, the Psycho Lady Anti-Fan Club has only succeeded in sensationalizing me to catastrophic numbers as far as they are concerned. If that wasn’t amusing enough, a couple of them have taken to trying to isolate individuals who are outwardly supportive of this website and my existence. Won’t make any friends that way, my girls. Keep up the good work, you’re making my job a whole lot easier.

1. Ducks Fans and Players Show Me a Sign

The Anaheim fans, maybe the most enthusiastic fans in the league, were quick to jump on my Show Me a Sign campaign. In true Ducks fashion, these ladies went above and beyond in their pitch to get me to join their ranks. Not only did they make an amazing and glittery game sign, but they also managed to get Ducks players, George Parros and Joffrey Lupul, to model their handy work. I was obviously quickly sold on the Anaheim club after this gesture. The bar was set very high right out of the gates with this contest. Which reminds me, if you are attempting to make a game sign in the near future, make it small. There have been a few reported incidents of Psycho Lady signs being confiscated at the door due to size.

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Saturday, January 23rd, 2010

Appearance on The Digital Domain Online Radio Show!

As promised yesterday, the boys over at HKC Radio gave me a link to the portion of The Digital Domain Online Radio Show that has my hour long guest appearance in it. The Digital Domain Online Radio Show is a two hour comedy free for all, which just happens to be run by two very crazy Islanders fans! They decided to have a special hockey related episode in which Bob and I went head to head to compete for the title of Craziest Hockey Fan! I don’t want to give anything away, but I *think* I came out ahead! Click here to check out all the fun and hilarity! You will once again be prompted to save it to your computer. I would strongly recommend going to the HKC Radio site and checking out the archived version of the entire show! It was a great one! Also, don’t forget that Go Away, Puck Bunnies aired as soon as I hung up the phone, so if you didn’t get a chance to hear it, go to my previous post for the link! Enjoy! And, once again, Bob and Nick, thanks for having me on your wicked show last night!

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Friday, January 22nd, 2010

Go away, puck bunnies!

Although it seems very timely, a couple weeks ago, the guys from The Digital Domain Online Radio Show at HKC Radio told me that they were inspired to create a hilarious response to the oddly obsessed Psycho Lady Hockey stalker-haters. The segment debuted on the show tonight immediately following my hour long guest appearance (link to come tomorrow in case you missed it). This is probably the funniest thing I have ever heard! So, click here to listen to, Go Away, Puck Bunnies! You will be prompted to save it to your computer. Enjoy! P.S. Thanks Bob and Nick! I had a blast on your show tonight!

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Wednesday, January 20th, 2010

Chicago (Day 3): Snowstorms and lacy things.

I rolled out of bed pretty late on that Monday. I was feeling kind of lazy and lost the will to do anything crazy in my usual form. I had been toying with the idea of either continuing on to Minnesota, or heading south to Dallas. I think I crave the adventure maybe more than I crave the actual hockey. Unfortunately, I was ill equipped to embark upon another “mystical six game road trip” like I had spontaneously mounted last season at the beginning of March. So, I decided that a trip to Victoria’s Secret was all the excitement I was going to have that day.

I ended up checking out of the hotel way later than I had expected. I was watching HBO or something while I was packing, and He’s Just Not that Into You came on. I was very against the whole idea of that movie when I first heard about it. I really hate all that self-help dating stuff, especially considering it’s usually based on the experience of the individual, and centres around women having to modify their behaviour to be even remotely worthy of any man. I won’t go off on one of THOSE tangents, though. And, like I said, I don’t read those books and haven’t read this particular book either. All I know is that my friends that do subscribe to this brand of garbage, basically turn into walking doormats the moment a penis enters the vicinity. Whatever works, right? I’m personally not a doormat, nor do I find doormats attractive. So, I would definitely rather be without someone who wants that type of person *ahem* stereotypical hockey wife.

Anyway, when the movie was about to come on, I reached for the remote to flick it off, but had a curious change of heart. I thought that I’d see how this movie handled all the grade A advice staining the pages of the book. I was only going to watch it for twenty minutes or so while I finished getting my stuff together, but I have to admit that it was surprisingly good. Long after I had packed and put my coat on to leave, I could not pull myself away from it. I had to see how it ended. I was literally perched on the end of the bed in my winter coat, boots, and with car keys in hand for a solid hour at least! What I found interesting about the movie was that all the main characters ended up being “exceptions.” I kind of like that big F you the writers appear to have sent to the author of the book by doing that. After all, what good can the theories and “rules” be if they can’t even hold up?

At 1PM, I finally left my hotel and was bound for the big Victoria’s Secret on Michigan Ave. Surprise! They just happened to be having their Semi Annual Sale. I knew this was going to be more than a quick run in to pick up a new bra. I spent two whole hours in that place, and came away with some gems like the top photo suggests. Mine’s black, though, and it looks better on her, I’m pretty sure. It was great for me to actually have something to declare when the border guard asked me how much I spent on goods. They usually find it suspicious that I never go shopping when I’m away on my trips. Sorry, I just really HATE that activity. This time around, my border guard was a femme, and we had a nice little chat about the sale.

At three, I was back on the road and headed directly into the same hideous weather I hit on my initial journey to the Windy City. Luckily, I stumbled upon Easy Street somewhere in the-middle-of-nowhere, Michigan. Literally. I stopped for gas in some no name spot, which happened to be off a meaningless road with Easy St. labeled on the street sign. So, that’s where it is! Unfortunately, the streets weren’t easy for very long. I still had the 402 to conquer, and, of course, it did not falter in providing me with another one of its usual winter whiteout challenges.

What I love about driving, even in terrible snowstorms, is that the road gives me a place to think. Naturally, finding an NHL team to call my own was a major topic of internal debate during this trip. In my head there were really only three candidates, the Ducks, the Leafs, and the Coyotes. The Ducks have a lot of things that I like, but this trip made me feel like the team and I don’t have enough history to keep a long distance bond like ours alive for long. The Leafs and I go way back. They are the team I grew up with, and we’ve been through a lot. I was there when the team was hot, just like I was there when they were not. And the support was mutual. The Leafs were there for me when I had no one. I sometimes wonder what I would have done without my Saturday night Leafs game at certain points in my life. However, the home games are ridiculously overpriced and tickets are hard to come by. Granted, I’d spend more money paying for a flight, accommodations, and a hockey ticket in the Pacific Division, but the Leafs don’t satisfy the adventurer in me seeing as it only takes me ten minutes to get to the rink. Then there’s Phoenix. I don’t have much to say in their favour at this point, but something someone told me a month and a half ago has played over and over again in my mind.

A woman felt that she needed to weigh in on that whole Arizona Prophecy thing. She told me she lost me at the point that I decided to ditch the Coyotes. Basically, she felt that everything seemed to say that Arizona was where I needed to be, so, no matter what, I shouldn’t have pulled myself away. Maybe that’s true, and maybe it’s not. It’s hard to know what events to pay attention to and what to filter out. She makes some sense, but I don’t know if I can really go back at this point. Going to see a team play, just so you can cheer against them, is not all that enjoyable. Trust me.

By the time I pulled into the drive way at my parents’ house, I made no decision about my new NHL allegiance. Instead, I began to get some crazy ideas in my head that I might branch out altogether. I was thinking that maybe it was time to take a little vacation from the NHL, and switch leagues for a month or so – for my sanity. Luckily, the Olympic break is right around the corner, so the timing couldn’t be more perfect. Stay tuned for details.

Roll the credits…

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    • Amy: Well said, nicely done. I agree wholeheartedly wi...
    • Not the doctor: @Doctorknowitall wayne gretzky is from brantford, ...
    • Dawnie11Marie: I just loved the article as a whole. Perhaps I di...
    • TheYotesDiva: Girl - I don't think I have ever agreed with you m...
    • Psycho Lady: And you seem to assume I'm talking about the previ...
    • Next Game

      Currently on assignment in Japan until the 2012-13 hockey season.

    • NHL Rinks Stalked

      [47] Air Canada Centre
      [08] Wells Fargo Center
      [06] First Niagara Center
      [05] Scotiabank Place
      [05] Joe Louis Arena
      [04] Prudential Center
      [03] TD Banknorth Garden
      [03] Honda Center
      [02] Xcel Energy Center
      [02] Tampa Bay Times Forum
      [02] Pepsi Center
      [02] Nassau Coliseum
      [02] Bell Centre
      [01] Verizon Center
      [01] United Center
      [01] Staples Center
      [01] Scottrade Center
      [01] PNC Arena
      [01] Nationwide Arena
      [01] Madison Square Garden
      [01] Jobing.com Arena
      [01] HP Pavilion
      [01] CONSOL Energy Center
      [01] Bridgestone Arena
      [01] BankAtlantic Center
      [01] American Airlines Center
      [02] Mellon Arena*
      [01] Maple Leaf Gardens*
      *Indicates Inactive Facility

    • OHL Rinks Stalked

      [28] Kitchener Auditorium
      [10] Hershey Centre
      [09] Gatorade Complex
      [08] Sleeman Centre
      [03] John Labatt Centre
      [02] Powerade Centre
      [02] GM Centre
      [01] Yardmen Arena
      [01] WFCU Centre
      [01] RBC Centre
      [01] K-Rock Centre
      [01] J. Benson Cartage Centre
      [01] Bayshore Arena
      [01] Barrie Molson Centre
      [41] St. Michael's Arena*
      [01] London Ice House*
      *Indicates Inactive Facility

    • AHL Rinks Stalked

      [64] Ricoh Coliseum
      [08] Van Andel Arena
      [08] Copps Coliseum
      [05] Bradley Center
      [04] Quicken Loans Arena
      [02] Scope Arena
      [01] AT&T Center
      [01] Allstate Arena
      [01] Cincinnati Gardens*
      *Indicates Inactive Facility

    • Other Rinks Stalked

      [03] Yokohama Skate Center
      [02] Arena Zurich-Kloten
      [01] U of T Varisty Arena
      [01] Nikko Kirifuri Ice Arena
      [01] Anyang Sports Complex

    • Game Stats (League)

      [320] Total Games
      [109] NHL
      [109] OHL
      [094] AHL
      [005] ALIH
      [002] IIHF
      [001] OUA

    • Game Stats (Country)

      [320] Total Games
      [239] Canada
      [074] United States
      [004] Japan
      [002] Switzerland
      [001] South Korea

    • Game Log
      • @FleurDeMar You knew there'd have to be a flaw somewhere LOL At least it's in his throat and not in his... you know... pants... ;) #Gasp 10 hours ago
      • Just heard David Beckham's voice for the first time... Noooooooo!!! That killed it!! :( Oh well! At least he doesn't laugh like Spezza... +1 10 hours ago
      • Bipedal organisms were not built to scrub Japanese bathtubs... There! I've said it! #TubIsLove 10 hours ago
    • New Book
      Hey, hockey fans! I am writing a new book and looking for American and Canadian hockey fans to send me a quick email telling me why they go crazy for hockey. Email me! I look forward to hearing from you!
    • Down the Rabbit Hole: A Guide to Puck Bunnies (2004)
      Content currently unavailable.
    • Contact Me!

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