Last week you got to check out my list of the things I will miss most about the National Hockey League during my 2010-11 season long sabbatical in South Korea. This week should be no surprise that I’m listing the ten things I won’t miss while I’m away. It was hard to actually come up with ten things! I also didn’t want to bore people by bringing up old conflicts again, but what can I say, it takes a lot of bullshit to drive a hockey addict to the other side of the world for a much needed vacation from the game. So, don’t be surprised that this list is a lot more venomous than the last. Try to enjoy. P.S. Better late than never! P.P.S. The top photo should not be misinterpreted that Sean Avery is one of the things that I won’t miss about the NHL because I definitely will miss him!
10. Ticket Prices
Especially at the Air Canada Centre and Madison Square Garden – Yowza!
9. Female puck bunnies, I mean… hockey fans… that pay good money to go to a hockey game (or not go), just so they can complain about the fact that my seats were close to the ice to rally support for their she-pig/mother-of-3 hate campaigns.
It would be more valuable for you to just focus on the game, ladies. Perhaps, you’ll learn that this season when I’m not around.
8. The Philadelphia Flyers feed on NHL Center Ice
It’s always the worst! Maybe it will be fixed when I get back.
7. Hockey wives and girlfriends
Particularly those of the rank-hag variety that are in the habit of illegally posting my personal shit online because they are insecure and have man hands and the face of a 40 year old football (only much, much bigger).
6. Liquid Gold
$13 for a domestic beer? Cripes!
5. Pre warm-up jitters.
Don’t ask me why, but before every game I have an internal freak out like I’m the one about to take to the ice in front of 20 000 people. I have not gone a single game without it.
4. The Springtime bandwagon rush.
You couldn’t be bothered in October, but now you’ll steal my tickets right from under me? Me no dink doh!
3. The “situation” in Phoenix.
Enough with the empty threats! When did Winnipeg get a second chance, let alone a million?
2. Twitter-Blog stalkers.
Among others.
1. Jock Sniffers.
“Friends” that will throw you under the bus if they think it means an NHL player might like them more if they were ever to meet.
