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New York (Day 1): I’m in Manhattan, trick!

There is an Expedia conspiracy afoot! It seems that I always have a rude awakening a day or two prior to my departure, when my itinerary is emailed to me, and I discover that I have booked yet another ridiculously early flight. A 6AM flight isn’t so bad if it’s local, but my airport of choice is Buffalo Niagara, which means that I’m leaving home between two and three in the morning to ensure that I actually get on that plane.

I knew that I wouldn’t be sleeping Saturday night, so I tried my hardest to sleep in that day. Unfortunately, I couldn’t shake this terrible feeling that I was having about my Coyotes adventure, and I couldn’t sleep past ten no matter how hard I tried. I was tired and worried when I pulled up to the Queenston-Lewiston Bridge. While I waited for the car in front of me to be released, I was fretting about what I was going to say to the border guard. It has been my experience that, according to US Security, single females are not allowed to have an interest in sports. My career as a hockey addict has caused all sorts of drama at the border. Last season, they searched my car twice in one week! However, my experience crossing into the States this time around was (pleasantly) interesting to say the least. Here’s the actual dialogue:

Guard: Where do you live?
Me: Toronto
Guard: Purpose for your business in the States?
Me: Umm *cute voice* hockey games (then I get this standard, “How do you wanna play this?” look on my face).
Guard: Oh, right, of course! I should have known.
Me: *confused by this response*
Guard: Aren’t you some sort of reporter?
Me: Uhh…I have a website…
Guard: Yeah, and a book, right?
Me: Yes…have I been to you before?
(Now, I’m asking the questions, eh?)
Guard: Yes, it must have been close to a year ago now. You liked the Flyers. Why’d you switch teams to Phoenix?
Me: Well, it’s kind of a long story…
Guard: *Rests his head in his hands and leans out the window waiting for me to spill it*
Me: *quickly tries to think of the shortest and least crazy way to explain the story* Well, these psychics told me that I’m supposed to be with some guy who’s connected to Arizona, but I knew I wouldn’t go there unless it was for hockey. So, when the Flyers made a trade there in March, I took it as the *spirit fingers* sign that I was supposed to switch teams. Still haven’t found the guy, though.
Guard: So, are you going ALL the way to Phoenix? (Notice he’s just asking me this now.)
Me: No, I’m going to New York and St. Louis, they are playing there this week!
Guard: Oh, really? That will be fun. Have a safe trip!

Am I kind of a big deal in Buffalo? I thought this encounter was even weirder than the guy who knew who I was at the Coyotes/Sabres game two weeks ago!

I arrived at the airport about twenty minutes later and got a killer parking spot. This is Lynx’s first overnight stay at Buffalo Niagara, and a mother worries. I seriously walked back to the car four times to make sure he was safe and locked up. Anyway, after I was checked in and had devoured a delicious greasy breakfast sandwich, we all received word that our flight was delayed an hour because the crew members were resting. Great. BNIA is one of the worst airports for killing time. There’s NOTHING to do, and I was starting to get tired. What was worse was that I couldn’t even catch a quick nap on the plane because I was sitting next to one of those smelly types that want to blurt random shit to you the whole way there – SHUUUUUUUT UPPPPPPPPPPPP!

The plane landed at 8AM and I was barely alive. I was exhausted from lack of sleep and just wanted to check in to my hotel and pass out for a few hours. Surprise! My room wasn’t going to be ready until 3PM! I didn’t know how I was going to stick it out until then. I stumbled around Fifth Avenue like a cracked out former child star visiting from Hollywood’s, Where Are They Now? list – big sunglasses, the works.

I decided to kill some time and visit the St. Jude shrine at St. Patrick’s Cathedral. Two years ago, I came to Manhattan for the first time with my mom for her birthday. I had planned the trip to take her to the Meatloaf concert at MSG, but come game time, we found out the fat man was sick and cancelled the show! Anyway, we had visited St. Pat’s, and that was really the first time I had heard the story of St. Jude, so I figured I should go back, light a candle, visit the gift shop, all that good stuff. I stayed for the noon mass as well, and, boy, was that ever a mistake. If you’re tired, don’t expect church to perk you up. I think I actually did a head bob at one time – eek!

The weirdest moment happened when a woman visiting from Arkansas came over to ask me some details about the Cathedral. I was waiting for the 10:15 mass to clear out so I could go to the shrines. She was waiting for the noon mass, and said she was going to walk around outside until it started. I told her that there were a bunch of shrines inside if she needed something to do, and mentioned that they even had a St. Jude. “St. Jude?” she said rather surprised, “That’s my parish in Arkansas!” Hmm. I thought this was strange considering the volume of traffic in the Cathedral. She could have talked to anyone, but she talked to me. It would appear as though I had attracted St. Jude to me again.

There was a time last season when I thought he hated me – my St. Jude candle burned me and broke, and I lost my medal. So, what gives now? My friend theorizes that when I lost the first medal the sign was ominous, and that, perhaps, he reappeared again the day I decided to make a change and admit defeat because that is what was meant to happen. When I switched teams I considered all avenues of possibility for how I would meet this mystery man, including the possibility that the Coyotes were meant to pull me away from the Flyers, even if it was to lead me elsewhere in the long run. Again, I will discuss more about this on November 5th! I’m reluctant to interpret the signs now out of fear of misinterpretation. After all, you could also interpret these signs in Phoenix’s favour. So, I guess I will just have to wait and see what happens with the Coyotes and I over the next few games, though, now I’m slightly more troubled that there might be something to that horrible feeling I was having yesterday.

At 1:30 I cleared out of mass and my room was finally ready! I didn’t want to waste time having a nap, but I couldn’t fight the need any longer. I crashed until 5ish, and had dinner around 8 at Nobu in Tribeca. I ate my face off. I actually couldn’t believe how amazing their sushi actually was. My snow crab sushi was actually made with crab! And their dessert menu was incredible! I absolutely loved the beer praline parfait!

One of the most entertaining features was the two people sitting at the table next to me. At first they appeared to be on a business meeting. This woman was really doing an oversell on her “abilities.” It actually depressed me. I had a similar depressing moment the last time I was here. In the big city it seems that if you are a career woman, you’re dooming yourself to being a spinster. This woman was obviously successful and intelligent, and she was conventionally pretty, but she was in her forties, and only discussed how her relationships have all failed horribly. I felt bad for her, mostly because I wondered if I was going to be like her when I’m that age. I guess I wanted to believe that there are men out there that aren’t intimidated by brains, but I guess bimbos with fake tits are still the easy option.

Anyway, the prospective employer didn’t seem to be interested in what she was selling, until she said, “Maybe I can help you in some way as well.” Oh yeah, he has some way alright. After this guy had been talking about his wife and kids, he fully started putting the moves on this chick. He starts holding her hand across the table, then kisses her ON THE LIPS when he goes to the washroom, and more of the same. What’s wrong with this girl? Any combination of respect or pity I had for her flew out the window. This activity was making her noticeably uncomfortable, but she was going along with it like she was still living the dream that she wasn’t going to have to see her “friend” naked later on. So, what was this? Sleeping your way to the top, or just another doormat who never learned to say, “no” in her forty some odd years? Either way, I’m sure I smirked into my champagne cocktail more than a few times, and may or may not have muttered, “pig” under my breath. I can’t be sure, champagne gets to me pretty fast.

I was so full after my large meal that I was determined to hike all the way back from Tribeca and walk it off. Apparently, I was actually paying attention to where the cabbie was going on the way there. I gave up on the exercise mission about half way back because I was stricken with sudden fatigue again. I hailed a cab, and sprawled out as soon as I got back in my room. I couldn’t move, and ended up passing out until midnight!

OK, so to wrap this up, here is my weirdest anecdote from Day 1. I was walking around in the evening, and a white car pulls up just ahead of me. As I walk passed, I hear the car horn honk, and the driver had obviously said something, but I didn’t know what. I looked over, and the guy was JACKING IT! YES, jacking it! I know most people would be offended, disgusted, or creeped out, but I thought it was funny, and I actually laughed before I walked away. I hope he didn’t take my laughter the wrong way LOL!

Anyway, that does it for my first day in NYC! Don’t forget that tomorrow is game day at Madison Square Garden! If you’re looking for me, I’m not sitting bench side this time. I’m somewhere on the penalty box side in the Coyotes zone. Don’t forget to Tweet if you see me!

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6 Responses to New York (Day 1): I’m in Manhattan, trick!

  1. Derek says:

    I loved this story so much. It was well detailed and funny. Even a bit sad at that bimbo part. You are a very good writer.

    I’m adding ya to our site. Enjoy the game tonight! Maybe I’ll find ya on TV.

  2. hilary says:

    you kill me! i cannot believe you did not tell me about the whacking man.. only in new york city! have fun tomorrow.

  3. Sasuage Wallet says:

    hope you’re having fun!!!!! let me know about your trip when you get back asap!
    when do you get back?????

  4. Sasuage Wallet says:

    also you should have help that man steal the car.

  5. Psycho Lady says:

    HAHAHA! It wasn’t the car that he was jacking! LOL

  6. Mike_Fahmy says:

    The guy was seriously jacking it hahahaha wow.

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