Cheerleaders don’t belong in hockey period. And I’m not saying this from an insecure female stand-point; I’m saying this from a strong foundation of authentic hockey fandom. Even male die hards will support my argument one hundred and ten percent. It’s the fair-weather fans that tend to be of the attitude that beer and trashy bikini models posing as sports authorities are the major draw, but these people are morons and their opinions shall not be considered at this juncture.
Cheerleading is really a warm climate activity. The women are meant to wear skimpy outfits without running the risk of pneumonia. Hockey arenas are cold (burrrrrrrr) even in the warmer months and in the southern climates, so who came up with the genius idea to stick a bunch of chicks in miniskirts and tube tops in there? Even in the winter, NFL cheerleaders are often wearing huge bulky winter coats, which suggest that sex isn’t really what they are about. Cheerleaders are part of the history of THAT game; however they are completely absent from the pages of the hockey history books. Last time I checked the Hockey Hall of Fame didn’t have an induction category for spirit fingers.
The decision to invent hockey cheerleaders is a sad one at that. Hockey cheerleaders or “ice girls” do not serve any real purpose. The sidelines are physically absent in hockey, so these women do not have an active role welcoming the team, or even cheering for that matter. The Philadelphia Flyers have a “dance team” which I am pretty sure I have NEVER seen dance. (That duty is reserved for a big guy in an orange shirt that sits above the Flyers end zone). No, hockey cheerleaders are around for one reason and one reason only – to sell tickets.
Sales managers for financially struggling teams across the league seem to have the same naïve marketing mantra that “sex sells.” While that may be true for beer commercials and ads for gag inducing spray on deodorant, it is, in my opinion, actually detrimental to franchise attendance rates. First and foremost, this move isolates the female fan demographic. Most women would rather avoid having a bleach blonde bimbo shimmy shaking her assets in her face. And they would most likely want to avoid said bimbo doing said shimmy in the faces of their spouses or significant others – so there goes date night right off the bat.
Also, hockey is typically marketed as a FAMILY sport, specifically in the minor and junior leagues (where ice girls have also been popping up). So, once again, while the men in the sales departments are trying to promote to other men, they are neglecting to acknowledge the head of the nuclear family – the mother. The mother that has to get on her husband’s back to spend more time with the kids. The mother that would like to have one night to herself once in awhile. The mother that WOULD have suggested that her man take the kids to a hockey game had the tramps not been a part of the show.
Many teams continue to struggle even after bringing cheerleaders on board – surprise! So, the sex isn’t selling obviously. However, my beef with hockey cheerleaders has nothing to do with poor marketing tactics or bleach blonde/fake tan envy, it has to do with a deep sadness that hockey has been reduced to a cheap prostitute to make ends meet. Sure, there are some hockey markets that are well known to be doing badly, and I think, because of that, it is expected that they pull out every trick in the book to get asses in those seats. But when I see that an Original Six club has been reduced to spandex and glitter eye makeup, then I get upset.
Original Six teams are the most storied active franchises in the National Hockey League. They should be considered the elite and the closest thing the show has to an Ivy League equivalent – and the fans should know it and respect it. Why were there cheerleaders/ice girls in Boston? Better still why aren’t the Bruins drawing a full house every night? Especially now that they are leading the NHL standings! In the very least, where are the bandwagon fans?
Part of me died a little inside to see empty seats and barbies running around at TD BankNorth Garden. Of course, Boston isn’t the only Original Six club that’s having problems. I’ve already discussed the problems with Detroit. Maybe I’m naïve, but I feel that the Original Six barns should be the last place to see cheap gimmicks like Strippers on Ice. But, of course, that’s actually just a poor attempt at a solution – the real PROBLEM is that Americans living in certain Original Six cities AREN’T supporting their teams! SACRILEGE! So PLEASE, get off your behinds, Chicago, Boston, Detroit, and New York, and get down to the hockey rink post haste – don’t make me tell you twice!
*By the way, I am aware that Chicago has been leading the league in attendance since the new year started – good for you!
