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June, 2012

Wednesday, June 20th, 2012

The Puck Bunny Vs. The Double Standard

First of all, let me say that I am just as annoyed as the rest of you with the uprise of overly cliched puck bunnies on Twitter and the like. These girls spew such stereotypical puck bunny ideals that it’s to the point that, quite frankly, I question whether any of them have ever succeeded in their puck bunny objectives, and by that, I mean, have actually taken down a hockey player. Now, I can understand why you mock these individuals for being walking stereotypes, or for their sad attempts to walk and talk like something straight out of the locker room, or, at least, the pages of the Junior Hockey Bible. However, when you attack these ladies for their sexuality/sexual habits, that’s when I no longer have your back.

It’s amazing that women in our culture are still being discriminated against sexually in 2012. The more women a guy has sex with, the more of a man he becomes. However, if a woman sleeps with ANYONE, she gets labeled a slut, or a whore, or completely and totally tainted for the rest of her life. Heaven help her if that guy was a hockey player, because then, not only is she a slut, but she’s a puck whore, too.

Yeah, just like you, I’ve heard all the degrading stories of the puck bunny/hockey player rendezvous. Do I think that there is a good chance that, a few years down road, some of these women will look back at their puck bunny years, and have some regrets about their decision to blow 6 guys on the team at once? Yeah, of course I do. Unfortunately, it is not my place or yours to judge a woman for her personal sexual limitations. Just because you or I wouldn’t blow 6 guys at once, doesn’t mean everyone feels that way.

After a few rounds of drinks, and everyone has loosened up, conversations often turn to the boudoir. “What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done in bed?” is a question I NEVER know how to answer. For me, bedroom antics fall into two categories – 1) Things I would do, and 2) things I wouldn’t. So, for me, there is no “crazy,” because if I consider something to be way too out there for my taste, then it’s not happening. Plus, let’s not forget that no one really knows what “everyone” is doing in bed, and “crazy” to one person, could be “vanilla” to another. Hell, I’ve had hockey players absolutely SHOCK me with some of the stories from their encounters with puck bunnies, while others had nothing but tales of missionaries with their socks on!

So, I suppose I will have to side with the raging puck bunnies on this issue, and send my pity out to those that hate others for their sexual freedom because (I suspect) they are angry that they have allowed themselves to be so repressed. I know the feeling. I remember those days when I thought that I needed to slow down because I had two guys under my belt, and that meant that I was on the fast track to slutsville. Trust me, it is much more liberating to take control of your sexuality and its unique dimensions, than allow society’s discrimination to dictate how you lead your life.

I know I’m not going to change the world with this blog post, but I will say that belittling a puck bunny’s (or any woman’s) physical anatomy (which seems to be the trend now) simply because she isn’t a virgin is absolutely despicable, and feeds right into those repressive, out dated notions that a woman who has sex is destroyed for all other men. Pardon my bluntness, but of all the penises I have seen in my lifetime, I’m going say that the average size is about 4 inches. That’s right – FOUR! A lot of the men reading this are probably feeling pretty damn good about themselves right now, I bet. Anyway, how much damage do you think that can actually do? Not much, trust me! So, just like how those angry she-fans reveal their secret desires for hockey player sexcapades, by preoccupying themselves with hating self-proclaimed puckies, so, too, do misogynistic males reveal what little they are concealing in their pants by obsessing over the “vaginal looseness” of women who simply prefer hockey players to them.

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