June, 2010

Wednesday, June 30th, 2010

Hi Paul…

OK I couldn’t resist bringing this up because it’s quite amusing. It was brought to my attention the other day that during a recent interview, Phoenix Coyote, Paul Bissonnette publicly jumped to the conclusion that I want to do bad things to him! Apparently the story goes something like this (I obviously didn’t hear it since I LIVE IN KOREA). As a joke, Bissonnette was confronted with a blog post that the interviewer had clearly come across in his extensive pre-interview research. The blog was written by a lonely Phoenix puck bunny who probably doesn’t get any flack from the she-beasts for her blog because, hey, she ain’t me. Plus, the fans in Glendale are too desperate to get their numbers up to cause any drama and risk that minus one. Anyway, she put together a Top 10 list of all the ‘Yotes players that she wants to bang. Bissonnette’s immediate response was to ask if I was the one behind the post. To be fair to Paul, I assumed he immediately associated the discussion with this Top 10 list I did during my first trip of the 09-10 season to Pittsburgh, but apparently that is not the case.

This bizarre incident is interesting for a couple reasons. For one, I’m always amazed to see how the Anti-Fan Club has managed to spread these rumours about all the hockey guys I’m fucking or trying to fuck. You know sometimes I even start to believe it myself, but then I look down at my belt and realize that all these proverbial notches are nothing more than a figment of some jealous vag-pig’s overactive imagination. Hey, I’m not going to deny that I make the odd comment in appreciation of the fine male form…particularly in the example of Hal Gill, but who doesn’t?! Even the butchiest hockey fans of them all make disturbing comments about “desiring soft hands.” But, anyway, it is interesting to see that these lies have managed to float all the way to the top of the hockey ladder, and the players are now buying right into it, too. But don’t get too excited, ladies! Typically the “slut factor” doesn’t deter guys from trying to score with those girls. So, if you thought all your dream hockey studs will be put off by me and the playing field has now been leveled (because I was naturally in competition with you – of course…), guess again.

Another point of interest for the hate brigade out there, is that this incident provided the public validation that NHL players do in fact read this site. I had alluded to it many times because I did know of a few players that were, in fact, reading this site. Of course, the haters didn’t want to believe any of that. Oh, and for the record, Paul Bissonnette was not one of the aforementioned avid readers. So, there you go. You learn something new every day.

Sadly, since Paul plays for Phoenix, the fact that he is familiar with the website is not all that exciting. After all, he is obviously chummy with my #1 girl-fan, and we all know how (s)he loves to gossip about me. I would be far more impressed if I heard that a player from pretty much any other team was tuning in regularly. Though, I’m not sure why anyone reads this site anymore. I’ve been so lazy and boring since I moved here!

I feel I should close this post off with an anecdote from my time working at Maple Leaf Sports. Back then, I was in the height of a self-imposed stint of chastity – a four year stint I might add (I know I’m SUCH A SLUT, right?). Anyway, there were these two gross-looking (and I mean GROSS!) girls working in the office. Both girls were admittedly screwing everyone! However, what I could never understand was that despite my 110% work ethic and focus, I was always the one that everyone suspected was test driving the talent. I remember complaining to one of my guy friends one night. I had asked him why everyone thought I was doing these things, but yet those other girls were flying under the radar. My friend responded with, “Because they can picture you doing it, not them.” So, please, can all my creepy, and strangely obsessed “female” haters, stop trying to picture me naked before you go to bed at night? It’s kind of disturbing. Thanks.

P.S. Naturally, Bambi had something to say about this incident. Click here to check it out!

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