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August, 2009

Thursday, August 27th, 2009

Confessions of a Hockey Addict Through the Worst Photography You’ve Ever Seen [07-08 Edition]


I know you’ve all been “eagerly” anticipating the 07-08 edition… right??? Well, good news! The wait is finally over! Get excited! Sorry for making you sweat like that! Anyway, the depression I felt reminiscing in the 06-07 edition has finally lifted and shifted to sincere excitement and evil scheming (I secured my first regular season tickets yesterday – be afraid!). In 07-08, I was another year older and another year wiser. At 22, I was finally starting to get this pro hockey thing nailed down, which could only amount to one thing – trouble. Once more, this entry only looks at SOME of my favourite hockey moments as captured by terrible camera work. After all, they can’t all be Kodak moments. Enjoy, and rest assured that there are no pictures of bloodied beds in this edition! Top Photo: Having a sexy party in the mock Habs dressing room at the Hockey Hall of Fame.


Coyotes @ Leafs. Apparently, I declared my allegiance two years ago. What do you think, can I pull off a switch back to Blue?


She’s mad because we had some ticket related drama in Ottawa. Our EBAY tickets never showed up in the mail. I decided to spew some professional sounding bullshit to the Scotiabank Place managers…


…They ended up seeing things my way! La la la la la la


The Walk of Shame, SHAME, SHAAAAAAAAAME!!


She’s not spying…the Flyers just happened to be below this window…


Inappropriate game signage at Wachovia Center.


Eagles game. Freezing rain. Unpleasantness. My eye balls actually froze! Should have known better than to deviate from the more superior sport!


Call the Hardy Boys! Still haven’t solved the mystery of what this sign is actually supposed to say.


He is attempting to demonstrate the Ice Girls’ dance routine. Move #1.


Move #2. That’s pretty much the extent of it…seriously.


Boston Pizza. Had to bust out, what I have coined, “Nashville driving” to get to Buffalo on time. My friend had to resort to manually stuffing pizza in my face so that I could maintain my illegal driving speed and maneuvers. When we finally arrived, we sprinted in heels to get to the rink. The parking lot staff applauded us for our effort.


I spent the entirety of the game cat calling him, and referring to him as Big Daddy. My friend was embarrassed.


Oh, yes…make sure to really work the groin…


A stoppage in play for a spicy make out session – oh, my!


Lurking around the Hockey Hall of Fame. Some 16 year old kid behind us…*evil laugh*


Undercover crappy cell phone pic. Dessert courtesy of Coach DILF…err… John Stevens. P-I-M-P!


Texting/Gilmour combination. This may not look like much, but this is probably the most scandalous hockey picture that I possess. I’ll let you try to figure that one out on your own.


Undercover crappy cell phone pic #2! It’s amazing what a little shimmying can get you.


Angry lady sighting. She spent the entire game complaining (to her identical sister) about the cheerleaders, and my friend and I hahaha! “OMG, don’t let your son look at those ugly dancing whores!” I like her style.


Smuggling goods back into Canada. My precious.


The Sketch Factory of Philadelphia. We always wanted to stay there for the sheer sketchiness of it, but we never did – SAD! I miss Philly.


Let us take another moment to honour the playoff groin stretch (purrrrrr!)


Taming the Infamous Flyers Fans 101. We used to work together at MLSE, so naturally he had to turn around and ask me why I was wearing a Flyers shirt with total disgust on his face. After that, the Philly fans in my section were no longer hostile toward the Canadiens. Instead they tried to use me to get them game pucks.


Our free $5 program for the Kitchener Rangers alumni game (Mem Cup 2008). We wanted to get our hands on the roster, but the hooker working at The Aud claimed that we had to buy the program first. Later we saw non-hookers passing them out for free…but it was too late. Quote of the night: (random high school bump in) “Whoa, why does Mike Richards keep staring at you?” (my friend) “She goes to a lot of Flyers game.” Bet he thought he had it all figured out – FAIL! Other NHL notables on the roster: Scott Stevens, Derek Roy, David Clarkson, Gregory Campbell, and Steve Eminger.


The Stanley Cup Finals and my birthday have arrived again – lovingly displaying one of my well thought out gifts, the Worst Case Scenario Sex Kit. I don’t care what Playboy says, don’t date a hockey player without one of these! The end.

Stay tuned for the 08-09 Edition of Confessions of a Hockey Addict Through the Worst Photography You’ve Ever Seen.

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