March « 2009 « Psycho Lady Hockey

March, 2009

Wednesday, March 18th, 2009

Game Day #6 – Coyotes @ Devils: Newark (Day 11)

The following events took place on March 12th, 2009

This entry concludes the coverage of my mystical six game road trip. Non-crazy entries to resume immediately.

I’ve always been spontaneous, but I’ve never been one to live my life on a whim. I’ve always noticed the “signs,” but I’ve never felt the pull so strongly that I completely turned my life around and traveled four thousand miles in pursuit of the unknown. Just so we’re clear; this isn’t my normal degree of crazy. I woke up Wednesday having dreamt that I was in New Jersey. So, I decided that I might as well go with it and complete the road trip. I was really hesitant about going there. I had packed originally to travel there from Detroit, but I changed my mind and left my suitcase at home. Then I was going to travel the day before the game, but I felt lazy and decided to spend the night in my own bed.

I also had to make a decision on Phoenix. When was I going to go? My initial instinct told me to go for the last game of the season, but I still looked at all the possibilities. The last game had the cheapest flight, and classes were over, so I wasn’t being irresponsible anymore than necessary. The final game of the season is against Anaheim, which I didn’t realize at the time, but it coincides with part of the prediction. I was told something about birds and Capistrano Beach (in California). Out of curiosity, I looked up Capistrano Beach. It’s apparently twenty minutes away from Anaheim, and, well, Ducks are birds, aren’t they. The plot was thickening. I will definitely be watching the Anaheim/Phoenix game on Center Ice Thursday night!

I set out early in the morning on game-day. I went the long way over Thousand Islands to avoid Buffalo abuse. My car was still effed from Detroit, so I stopped at a Canadian Tire in Napanee to have it fixed. While I was there I met a diehard Leafs fan who was also having his car fixed. He told me all about taking his sons to their first NHL games at the Air Canada Centre.

About an hour later I was back on the road. I knew an eight hour trek would completely destroy my hair so I decided to drive with some curlers to try and preserve some of the oomph. At first I would take them out when I needed to get out of the car, but as I got to the border (AND WAS FULLY SEARCHED AGAIN), I became irate. I mentioned before that nothing boils my blood quite like something that stands in the way of me and a hockey game. When I was searched in Buffalo, I was nice about it. I was catching a flight, and there was no chance of me missing the game. This time they were cutting into my already tight travel time, so I became quite vicious. They are never going to find anything in my car, so they are really just pissing me off – sexist assholes! Anyway, I drove off down the I-81 like lightning. I was driving while putting the curlers back in my hair! Even when I got out of the car I kept them in to save time! I basically just started shushing the people I saw gawking at me!

I need to take a moment to rave about the Prudential Center! Wow! Almost as good as the Air Canada Centre! Apparently, my entire section was a VIP section, which in Newark means you have access to a swanky lounge and all you can eat FREE food. I think I ate thirty pieces of sushi or something crazy like that. Not to mention the cookies, fruit, etc. Why doesn’t Toronto give anything away??? You’re paying enough! The sad thing is the Devils don’t sell out! They have an incredible facility, an amazing team, and, since last night, the “winningest” goaltender of all time! What more could you ask for? Come on, New Jersey!

My seats were RIGHT on the glass behind the penalty box – a dream come true. I’ve always wanted to sit there, but I’ve never found the tickets! I asked the Devils fans sitting around me if it would bother them if I shimmied and said, “You’ve been a baaaaaaaaaad boooooooy” every time a penalty was called. They said it wouldn’t and, so, I sure did….every time!

The Coyotes lost their fourth and final game of the road trip that night. I drove all the way home. I managed to do a round trip (and a game) to Newark in twenty-one hours. It brings a whole new meaning to the term “hit and run!” It was difficult for me to pull away as we went our separate ways that night. I felt like I hadn’t made much progress toward finding out what I needed to find out on this trip. All I had discovered was that I needed to go to Phoenix, and I had already booked that flight. I was excited about that.

Sunday night, and after the insanity that became my Boston trip, I was inspired to go with my friend to the best psychic in Toronto. This woman is intense! She is dead on about everything, she even names names! My friend saw her first (it was her first time). She was completely floored. The psychic had named her ex-boyfriend, the guy she is currently seeing, and a guy she has been set up with for next week!

Anyway, when it was my turn I didn’t want to tell her anything, I just wanted to see what she would say. She started off telling me that a massive change was happening and not to look back. I decided to tell her my crazy story over the last week. I said to her,

“I booked this flight to Phoenix and I don’t know what I’m doing! A normal, sane, practical person wouldn’t have done all the things that I’ve done over the last two weeks!”

“I would have” she said.

“Yes, but you’re psychic. I’m just a girl who can’t tell if it’s her intuition talking or a mental disorder!” She told me to shuffle the deck and we’d ask the cards what was going to happen in Phoenix. I told her to feel free to tell me I was crazy and I would be more than happy to turn back.

“Oh my god!” she kept saying as she laid the cards out. “Your instincts are dead on. I have never seen the cards come out like this! There is someone waiting for you there. That is what this is all about. You are meant to go. You need to go. You have to go. You have to, you have to, you have to, you have to.”

Posted in Phoenix Coyotes, female hockey fans, magic, new jersey devils, newark, psychics, road trips | No Comments »

Monday, March 16th, 2009

Game Day #5 – Coyotes @ Red Wings: Detroit (Day 9)

The following events took place on March 10th, 2009

No, you’re not crazy; there isn’t a Day 8 entry. I spent my off day at home: sleeping, studying, and visiting with my baby cousins. I decided to go to Detroit anyway. I wanted to visit with my friend, Jason. I hadn’t seen him since the last time I went to Milwaukee, which was December 2005! I got my ticket right through the arena box office, so it was nice to only have to buy one seat for a change. The ticket agent asked me which team my “favourite guy” played for! Women always know.

Doing a game-day commute to Detroit was really tight this time around. I had to be in court downtown Toronto at 1:30PM for a speeding ticket I got last season (the most recent installment of the Curse of Grand Rapids). Luckily, I had the points removed and the fine was reduced to $30! I was one of the first to go, so I was able to get out of there around 2PM. I celebrated my speeding ticket victory by speeding all the way to Detroit!

I managed to avoid the GTA rush hour traffic (just barely), and I pulled up at the Ambassador Bridge three hours later (I know, great time!). I was in the longest line waiting to go through customs. You know that line. The line that holds everyone at the booth as long as possible because the security officer in charge is a raging asshole and takes his job way too seriously; yeah, that line. I was starting to panic. The guy in Buffalo was the same way, he was just looking for a bitch slapping. He started yelling at me when I said I was going to Boston for a hockey game! I knew it would look suspicious trying to cross for a hockey game, especially when I just crossed back into Canada the previous morning. They always try to quiz you on the team as well, even though I’m sure they don’t know the answers. When I had crossed the previous Monday, they quizzed me on the Flyers. I knew that stuff inside and out, but I realized as I waited in line that I probably couldn’t answer any specific questions about the Coyotes. Oh no! However, after all that waiting and worrying, I pulled up to the booth, told the guy I was going to the Red Wings game, and that was all he needed to hear. Phew!

I hadn’t been to Joe Louis arena in two and a half years! The building was the site of my first ever NHL road trip taken on my own. It almost felt like I had come full circle, and returned back to where I had started at the beginning of the 2006-07 season. So much had changed. I had changed team alliances, what now appears to be, four times. Though, I don’t really feel like a Coyotes fan. I feel more like a crazy girl that has watched Serendipity too many times. I was missing the Flyers. That game in Boston seven days earlier felt like years ago now. I missed coach, the team, the staff, and the fans!

The arena was empty! It’s crazy what effect the recession has had on an NHL super power like Detroit. The last time I was there, you couldn’t get tickets. Now they were giving them away, and no one was taking them! I finally had one of those frozen drinks from the cocktail wall! Last time I had to pass because I was en route to Nashville later that night. Also, I sat across the ice this time, so the wives didn’t see me and stalk me. Mind you, I’m not blonde anymore, so I probably look like less of a mule-whore, and, thus, less threatening.

There was a glimmer of hope. The Coyotes pushed the game to overtime, but ended up losing their third straight. At least they got a point! I haven’t seen Detroit play live since October, when they came to Toronto for a pre-season game. They are like this big red machine. They look almost impossible to beat! Maybe that’s why they are always leading the league!

I met up with my friend briefly. Nothing was open! And APPARENTLY Detroit is stuck in the ‘70s and there isn’t a smoking by-law. Smoking makes me vicious. It ruins clothes and HAIR and LUNGS! This old smokey bastard was blowing his smoke directly into the face of a baby that couldn’t have been more than a month old. Oh dear! I was vocal. I couldn’t help it! Yes, I publically referred to him as “Smokey Bastard” for all to hear – and they did hear.

There was torrential rain all night long. Entire ramps on the I-75 were flooded. The puddles wrecked my car! I decided to take the tunnel back to Canada to try something new. The Canadian border guard was trying to ask me a lot of questions, but after the smokey bastard, and my tiredness, I was in no mood. I just kept saying, “yeah.” Finally, he gave up.

I drove through the rain the whole way home. I stopped only once to grab an Iced Capp from Tim’s. That used to be my all-nighter drink back in high school. Every morning we’d get off the bus and grab a large one to get through the day. I don’t know how we managed to go to school for 8AM for so many years. I find it a struggle to get to my 10AM classes.

I got home around 4:30AM. I was deliberating the action I needed to take. When was I going to go to Phoenix and was I going to continue on and complete the road trip in New Jersey on Thursday? I had the cards done the day before on New Jersey. I was told to follow my dreams. I eagerly went to bed that night (morning), hoping I would find the answer.

Posted in Detroit Red Wings, Phoenix Coyotes, female hockey fans, magic, psychics, road trips | No Comments »

Monday, March 16th, 2009

Game Day #4 – Coyotes @ Islanders: Long Island (Day 7)

The following events took place on March 8th, 2009

I was finally caught up on my sleep when I woke up Sunday morning. The dark circles under my eyes were gone for the most part, and I didn’t feel quite so fatal anymore. I hadn’t watched a minute of television since my road trip started, and I had NO IDEA that the clocks had sprung forward. As soon as I discovered that the hotel clock and my lap top/cell phone were off by an hour, I just about had a heart attack thinking that I could have missed my game if I hadn’t noticed! I still hadn’t clued in that it was Day Light Savings, though; I just thought it was the crummy hotel staff.

I checked out in the afternoon as the Coyotes and Islanders were playing a matinee game. I decided I would brave the drive back to Toronto after the game and regroup at home before making a decision on whether or not to continue shadowing the Coyotes’ eastern road trip. I needed a sign – a clear sign that I was on the right path!

I walked around the rundown concourse of Nassau Coliseum trying to kill some time before heading down to my seats. Yes, I, once again, had two seats, but these tickets were only $60 each so it wasn’t a huge loss. I ducked into the ladies room to do a spot check, lip-stick application – you know the drill, ladies. As I walked in one of those terrible washroom ads stopped me in my tracks. You know those ads in the metal frames you never pay attention to because they always have some terrible self-help slogan on them like, “No Means No,” or “A moment of pleasure, a lifetime of responsibility.” This time I actually noticed the ad. It was an advertisement for immigration to Arizona. I felt like I was being physically held there, like a magnet was pulling me to the sign. Eureka! This was my sign…literally. I knew then that I had to go to Phoenix at some point before the season ended.

I went down to my seats. They were awful. I was in the front row, but the front row seats were low to the ground and you could hardly see over the boards. I met two nice Coyotes/Rangers fans before the warm up started. (Hi, guys!) Unfortunately, and despite cheering for the Islanders until the hideous blonde mule was out of my sight, the Coyotes lost their second game of the road trip.

I got back to the car, it was 5PM. “Wow, what a fast game,” I thought. It was actually 6PM – I still hadn’t clued in. I stole the wireless signal from the Burger King near the hotel. Checked my emails and hit the road. It was around Midnight somewhere far North on the I-81 when I realized that it was Day Light Savings. So, I wasn’t making good time after all.

I opted to go the long way home to avoid crossing in Buffalo after the incident Monday morning. The Canadian border guard kept looking at me strangely because my purpose for a week long stint in the States was four hockey games. Unlike the assholes in Buffalo, he didn’t find it suspicious so much as amusing. Gotta love, Canada!

I felt better being back in my home country. I was driving West on the 401 bound for Toronto, when my deck started overheating or something strange and my music kept skipping. Finally, I just turned the radio on, but there are so many barren stretches of nothing that far East on the 401 that I could only get the stations with the strongest signals. And you KNOW those stations are always classical, talk, and easy listening! One of the easy listening stations was actually playing a few gems – the type that you haven’t heard in years and you have forgotten that you love.

Blue Rodeo’s Try came on. I haven’t heard them since I was a wee thing. I remember my parents had the cassette (remember those?) and they would listen to it in the car. The song made me think about everything that had transpired in the last week. In similar lyrics I had tried to explain several times to my friends/family why I was AWOL, “if this happened to you, wouldn’t you try? Don’t you have to?” As the song says, you’ve got to try.

Posted in Phoenix Coyotes, long island, magic, new york islanders, psychics, road trips | No Comments »

Monday, March 16th, 2009

Wherefore, Romeo: Long Island (Day 6)

The following events took place on March 7th, 2009

I drove all night. I wish I had that Celine Dion song to accompany me! I finally pulled off somewhere southbound on the I-87 because I thought I was going to drop dead from lack of sleep. I discovered that dancing to Britney and smacking yourself in the face really does perk you up, but only briefly. However, as I pulled up to a shady off-road lodging Mecca consisting of Comfort Inns and HoJos, I perked right up. I think the continuous blackness of hours on the highway at night was killing me; so the street lights must have woken me up. I decided to keep moving.

It was four in the morning and I was about a hundred miles outside of New York City. I stole the wi-fi coming out of the Comfort Inn (this is my new favourite thing to do, stealing wireless signals, I mean; makes me feel like an undercover sketchbag), and finally looked up directions on how to get to Long Island. I also took a half hour break and just screwed around on the computer. I checked my emails, and played around on youtube before heading back off into the night.

Just after 5AM I stopped to clean myself up. The night had done terrible things to my already terrible hair. There was nothing I could do, so I just threw on one of the many hats I found in the trunk of my car. It was a Leafs hat (yikes). I had a few of them floating around the trunk from when I used to work there I guess.

I had a decision to make between the two nearest hotels to Nassau Coliseum. Should I stay with the New Jersey Devils, or at the hotel housing the Phoenix Coyotes? After much deliberation, I went with my instincts which told me to stay with the Devils. I’m glad I did, as it was later revealed that the Coyotes’ hotel was allowing livestock to check in. It would have been a fairly ugly scene if I had a run in with the hideous, blonde, gum-chewing, Chlamydic mule that was lodging at that hotel. Plus, I don’t think I could have handled the smell. The mule factor caused me to cheer for the Islanders the next day.

As soon as I was in the NYC vicinity, I noticed people were starting to get a lot ruder! People at the toll booths were MEAN! As I walked up to the hotel, a guy stopped his car and said, “Now, that ass needs to get fucked!” Umm…what? My mouth seriously dropped to the floor. Sure I’ve heard guys yell things out of cars before, but I don’t think I’ve ever heard anything that direct before. The guy was hot too…so I didn’t understand. As I continued to the front doors, I wondered what that statement could have meant. Did it mean I looked good (somehow despite no sleep/the evil hat), or could the guy tell by the way I was walking that yes, I did, indeed, need *that?*

As I walked into the hotel, the Devils were congregating. They appeared to be in agreement with the statements made by the guy in the car moments earlier. It was making me paranoid due to the lack of sleep for many, many, many days. I just couldn’t deal with the threatening advances of male desire at that moment. I wanted to cry, and I did cry. Emotional breakdowns #3, 4, 5, 6, 7 all happened consecutively that afternoon. It was a shame because part of me wanted to go to the Devils game. I decided it was best that I shower and sleep instead. I slept all afternoon. I finally woke up around 5PM when the obnoxious Islanders fans were screaming and yelling outside my window after the game.

I decided to go out for a drive and find someplace to eat and a pharmacy to stock up on supplies I was out of – conditioner, water, and facial cleansing cloths (they are a must have road trip item!) I returned to the hotel with my supplies, but no food. I was too lazy. I ordered pizza instead.

I sat around my room that night depressed. I was wondering where my alleged Romeo was hiding, and why I wasn’t at least finding a clue as to what I should do next. I had set out on Monday for a two day excursion to Boston that, come dawn, had stretched to a week. I had never done anything so impulsive before. I had said to my friend, “I feel like I have just bet my whole life on a single hand of poker.” Was I wrong? Was I going to lose everything? Where was he?! I went to bed early, not knowing that, the next day, Nassau Coliseum would provide me with my next big sign.

Posted in Phoenix Coyotes, bad day, female hockey fans, long island, magic, new york islanders, psychics, road trips, ugly blonde mules | No Comments »

Saturday, March 14th, 2009

Game Day #3 – Coyotes @ Sabres: Buffalo II (Day 5)

The following events took place on March 6th, 2009

Getting up was an effort Friday morning. Not only was I not able to sleep during the night, I had a terrible feeling my room was haunted, and the bedside lamps wouldn’t turn on…eek! I managed to check out by 5:30AM and was given the hotel limo to get to the Boston airport. My driver thought that I sounded Italian! It was like when the guy in Columbus thought my accent was Russian. No, it’s Canadian! Italian and Russian don’t even sound remotely similar!

You’ll be glad to know that I did get on that plane! I finally used one of the many airline tickets I had acquired over the past four days. It was 9:30AM when I drove out of the Buffalo airport. I was falling asleep on the plane, five days of insomnia was starting to catch up with me. There was a guy sitting in my row during the flight. I hate that! Usually, I’m alone. Anyway, I was exhausted and I knew I wouldn’t last until game time.

The soft morning light always makes me feel more tired. I drove around Buffalo looking for a place to crash for the afternoon. All the major hotels were booked solid! Finally, I found one downtown! As I pulled up there were hordes and hordes of people surrounding the premises, which could only mean one thing – hockey players! Whenever I have stayed at the same hotel as a hockey team, there are always groups of fans, collectors, and ebay entrepreneurs waiting for autographs. I’ve noticed that the Gretzky factor seems to triple the attendance rate of these individuals; it’s actually pretty insane!

The Phoenix Coyotes seem to be smarter than the Flyers. I saw a few of them in the lobby and they already recognized me from Boston! It took the Flyers at least a few months to accomplish that *I think.* Boo, there goes my anonymity!

I didn’t manage to sleep at all nor did I manage to be productive and do any work. Not really sure what I was doing the whole time. Staring into space I guess! I checked out early and decided to go for a drive (like I normally do before Sabres games). As I was driving off, a couple of the Coyotes players had grabbed a cab and were in front of me. Some of the more intense “collectors” chased their cab down and were trying to get autographs while they were held up at the lights. I’ve NEVER seen big fat guys run that fast in my entire life – wow!

The game time on my ticket was wrong, so I was at HSBC arena extra early. I was very grumpy and ugly. I was tired and my hair looked like ass. On top of this, I had impulsively purchased tickets to the Coyotes next game in Long Island on Sunday. So, now I was facing a drive to New York, which kind of terrified me.

The stress was really starting to get to me. Of course, I was mostly putting the pressure on myself. I was trying to force finding whatever it is that I’m meant to find. It’s hard to let go and just let it happen, follow your instincts, and try not to over think everything. For the majority of the game I was trying to fight off emotional breakdown #3. There were three guys sitting next to me that had decided to make it their mission to make me smile – this involved buying me beer! It worked! Thanks boys!

The Coyotes lost the game; the first of many. After the game, I jumped in the car and rode off into the night. I didn’t know my way to Long Island, and I didn’t have a GPS system. GPS systems are lifesavers, but I don’t think I could ever be trusted with one. I might just go road tripping and never come home! I decided to take the most direct route and head east on the I-90. I was in a race against time to pass through NYC before the hideous traffic started the following morning.

Posted in Phoenix Coyotes, buffalo, buffalo sabres, magic, road trips | No Comments »

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