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BizNasty on Twitter withdrawal, raising money for the homeless, and his Speedo.

July 28th, 2010

Phoenix Coyote, Paul Bissonnette was quickly becoming the most popular and enjoyable NHL player on Twitter. He had his followers hooked and evidently dependent on his huge personality and completely uncensored wit. But then tragedy struck, and @PaulBizNasty vanished under the gavel of political correctness. The fans were devastated to say the least, but perhaps not more than Mr. BizNasty himself. Recently, and by that I mean, just now, Paul explained to Psycho Lady Hockey how he’s been coping with the loss of Twitter, starting up a new charity in Phoenix, and plotting to make his glorious return to the realm of 140 characters. So, read on and get your @PaulBizNasty fix here! Enjoy!

Psycho Lady Hockey: Before we get into this whole Twitter thing, what have you been up to over the off season? Anything scandalous?

Paul “BizNasty” Bissonnette: The off season has been good. The way most guys do it is when the season ends they take about 4 to 5 weeks off. No training, no working out, just relaxing. I also take that approach, maybe to a different level. I went to Vegas with four teammates a week after our season had ended, and had a blast. I wore a Speedo at all the pool parties. That started a rumor on the net – not true. After Vegas I came back to Phoenix for another 3 weeks and partied and golfed. When it was time to go, I packed my truck and drove back to Canada with Taylor Pyatt. All the ladies reading this probably just got wet [Psycho Lady: I actually did!]. Then when I got home I started training Monday through Friday. On the weekends is when I have my fun in the off season. I go to Toronto, I went back to Vegas *laughs,* London, Ontario, and Muskoka. As for the rest of summer, August is quiet. I’ll skate 3 times a week and train. I go back to Phoenix in late August.

Psycho: Aww you just made me homesick! So what happened with your Twitter account exactly? Are you planning a comeback?

BizNasty: The reason I had to delete my account was because my agent was worried about the Kovi comment. I understand where he’s comin’ from. I had a lot of fans laughing, and it was all in good fun, but some people take things to heart – whatever. I’m gonna lay off Twitter, but plan on coming back early in the season with an account. The fans need it.

Psycho: That’s great! But will you have to make changes to the way you tweet to ensure that your new account is more permanent?

BizNasty: As far as toning down my tweets, I’ll say, “Yeah,” but probably not.

Psycho: Hahaha excellent! OK, can you talk a little bit about your new #freebiznasty campaign for the homeless?

BizNasty: The #freebiznasty campaign is a “charity” that I’m starting, very small, for the homeless. If you followed me on Twitter, you would know how much I love the homeless. I buy them food when I see them. Usually try not to give them money ‘cause homeless people tend to hit the booze. Basically, I do it because they live a hard life on the street. We don’t know their story and their struggles. So, help them out, baby!

Psycho: Wow that’s awesome. The shirts are great, by the way. So, why do you think @PaulBizNasty was so popular with the hockey community on Twitter?

BizNasty: Why do I think mine was popular? Because I put myself out there. I know if I was a fan, I’d wanna see the cool stuff that athletes do with their leisure time. I have fun with showing the crazy shit that I do.

Psycho: Very true. I’m sure most fans get bored reading about the morning skate every day. Well, we all know that your fans are suffering from @PaulBizNasty withdrawal, but how are you coping with the lack of Twitter? Are there any particular accounts that you miss following?

BizNasty: It blows. I’ve had so much funny stuff that has happened since. I still take pictures just in case, but it’s not the same without it. It’s like I lost my first child *laughs.* I didn’t really have a favourite Twitter to follow. I didn’t find anyone’s entertaining enough. I found it way better having fans tweet me directly telling me to check out cool websites like dontevenreply.com. I love that site now. The fans would tell me to check stuff out all the time. It was a two way street.

Psycho: Since you won’t be back on Twitter for another month or so, can I get a @PaulBizNasty style tweet for your fans and followers who are still having the shakes over the loss?

BizNasty:

Thanks to Mr. BizNasty for sharing his sparkling personality with me. Fans who are still trembling on the bathroom floor because Paul is not on Twitter, can dust off the old Facebook machine and connect with him that way. Click here to add him as a friend on the Face. Also, make sure you check out saucehockey.com to order your BizNasty T-shirts in support of the #freebiznasty campaign. I want one. Does anyone know if they will ship to Korea?!

Top Photo: When I think Paul Bissonnette, I think black water manties. You’re welcome, ladies!

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Top 10 Tuesday: NHL personalities that should have Twitter.

July 28th, 2010

I was inspired by the Sean Avery and Paul Bissonnette incidents to run a Top 10 list of NHL personalities that I feel should have Twitter, but don’t. Now, the last time I checked, I was still in Korea. Wait…let me look again. Yup. There is a distinct fishy squid smell out on the street. So, it is very likely that one or more of the people on this list have made Twitter accounts, and I was just unaware due to that fact that most of you in NHL land tweet while I’m asleep. Please let me know if they do, so I can add them to my Twitter list of NHL Pimps. Enjoy!

10. Mark Messier

Chip? In theory Messier would be a very colourful addition to Twitter, but I fear that the Moose is too much of an iconic figure not to be severely disciplined by the muzzle of NHL censorship. But on the other hand…Twitter, bet you can’t tweet just once!

9. Maxim Lapierre & Antoine Vermette

Purely cosmetic additions to the Twitter world. These two would unlikely do a great service to the hockey “tweep” community unless they were to get a little trigger happy with the TweetPhoto application. Gots ta love those French-Canadian mens.

8. Ray Ferraro

With on air statements about sticking fingers in dykes, Ray Ferraro is quickly becoming the new generation of Pierre McGuire-esque colour commentators. One can only assume he’d be able to deliver similar gems in 140 characters or less.

7. Don Cherry

I can see it all now, Don Cherry’s online Twitter hockey tutorial for the kids at home! 140 characters, no 5 second time delay.

6. Jeremy Roenick

Jeremy Roenick has one of the biggest personalities in the hockey community, so one can only hope that he’d bring his presence to the Twitter realm. However, I think JR might fall under the same hypothetical influence as Mark Messier.

5. Scott Hartnell

Scott Hartnell always knows just what to say whether he’s at the breakfast table, or warming up for a game. It’s a guarantee that his Twitter feed would be non-stop hilarious, so long as he doesn’t fall into the game day tweet pattern as so many nondescript NHL accounts before him.

4. Pierre McGuire

Yes, I am aware that there was a fake Pierre McGuire Twitter account, and there is even a hilarious @ShitMcGuireSays feed as well, but one can only assume that the imposters wouldn’t have shit on the real deal.

3. Bobby Ryan & Ryan Getzlaf

I mean, come on, have you seen this?!

2. Paul Bissonnette

Bissonnette was strong-armed into deactivating his insanely popular Twitter account @paulbiznasty, and his fans are still devastated by the loss. @paulbiznasty gave fans an insight into what an NHL player REALLY does on a day to day basis without all the sugarcoated BS we are fed from the other NHL accounts. We can only hope that he’ll be up and running again soon. Since his deactivation, Bissonnette has mounted a Twitter inspired campaign to raise money for a homeless shelter in Phoenix. Click here to buy one of his saucy T-shirts!

1. Sean Avery

As I mentioned before, if one NHL player NEEDED to be on Twitter, it’s Sean Avery. And I’m not referring to the entertainment of the fans online either, Avery gave up his best promotional tool when he shut down his account. Therefore, I decided to keep his account warm for him, and resurrected @seanaveryd0tcom. I do not pretend to be Sean Avery, but instead try to provide the public with tweets of his quality. Follow me! I have big things planned *grins.* More to come on this later. P.S. No, I’m not a Sean Avery super fan!

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Sean Avery is SO over Twitter!

July 25th, 2010

Somebody call Vogue Magazine and let them know that Twitter is no longer cool according to their one time fashion intern, NHL forward, Sean Avery. Recently, Avery proclaimed that he was “so done” with the social network, and within minutes deleted his account @seanaverydotcom. Sadly, I missed all the excitement as I’m 13 hours ahead of New York City. You screwed me again, Korea! *shakes fist* (I wasn’t actually following him, though, but I would check in from time to time). So, if you were wondering why Sean hasn’t been showing up in your Tweet feed lately, now you know!

Avery is no stranger to controversy. He has received a lot of bad press for his outlandish statements and actions both on and off the ice. However, given that he has numerous non-hockey ventures that he should be promoting to the public, such as, his website, and his Tribeca area restaurant, Warren 77, Avery’s decision to delete his account on the best social networking site on the web is clearly as poorly thought out as his decision to step in front of the cameras at the Saddledome in Calgary back in the 2008-09 season. But whether he’s freaking out over Twitter or his sloppy seconds, no Sean Avery style dick move/melt down would be complete without comedic benefits.

It’s hard to say what pushed Sean over the edge to the point of deleting his Twitter account, but I would say that it’s a safe bet that he was fed up with the smack talk from his anti-fan followers. You would think that if any hockey player in the National Hockey League would have thick skin, it would be Sean Avery. After all, he made a name for himself as the biggest pest in the game, and, quite frankly, one could argue that his saucy mouth is what keeps him both a fan favourite, and gainfully employed in the NHL. Of course, there are a lot of irritating “self-righteous fans” out there that turn up their noses whenever a player gets his hands dirty with an on ice brawl, or off ice foul; irrational people who believe that hockey players are upstanding men in pastel cardigans with no hair on their balls. Naturally, these fans would not think too highly of Mr. Avery, and by putting himself in the public domain with Twitter and his website, well, like all athletes, he opened up the floodgates for optimal dick access (that’s what she said). A lot of sports fans like to make themselves feel important by calling out athletes from the safety of their PC, so it’s not surprising that Avery of all people would get an F-tonne of smack. However, as I mentioned before, the shocking thing is that Mr. Chirpy McChirpington himself couldn’t handle the abuse from his anti-fans (read: nobodies), when he likely encounters the same treatment from his opponents on a regular basis.

This is why I am slightly skeptical that online bullying is really what pushed this fashion conscious tough guy over the edge. Perhaps, Avery was saving face. Perhaps, he didn’t like that “real” celebrities have follower numbers in the six and seven digits, and he couldn’t get past four. Perhaps, “something” deteriorated in his personal life, and he couldn’t take back the tweet-evidence of better times, and so, he chose to run from it altogether. I’m not trying to start rumours or anything, I’m just playing devil’s advocate again. Anyway, whatever the reason for Sean Avery to swear off of Twitter, the fact remains that the hockey “tweep” community will surely be devastated by the loss. Sean Avery is the biggest name in the National Hockey League period. I know you are probably going to disagree and throw the Kid and Ovi cards at me, but those two are really only popular in pro sports circles. Avery, on the other hand, has managed to make a name for himself in a much larger arena. So, given the nature of the beast that is Sean Avery, if he would have stuck with tweeting, I predict that he would have become the best and most popular NHL player to follow on Twitter whether his followers loved him or hated him. Oh well.

RIP @seanaverydotcom.

Remembering better days… P.S. In Korea they don’t say “sloppy seconds,” they say “vagina brothers.”

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Top 10 Tuesday: Things I won’t miss about the National Hockey League.

July 23rd, 2010

Last week you got to check out my list of the things I will miss most about the National Hockey League during my 2010-11 season long sabbatical in South Korea. This week should be no surprise that I’m listing the ten things I won’t miss while I’m away. It was hard to actually come up with ten things! I also didn’t want to bore people by bringing up old conflicts again, but what can I say, it takes a lot of bullshit to drive a hockey addict to the other side of the world for a much needed vacation from the game. So, don’t be surprised that this list is a lot more venomous than the last. Try to enjoy. P.S. Better late than never! P.P.S. The top photo should not be misinterpreted that Sean Avery is one of the things that I won’t miss about the NHL because I definitely will miss him!

10. Ticket Prices

Especially at the Air Canada Centre and Madison Square Garden – Yowza!

9. Female puck bunnies, I mean… hockey fans… that pay good money to go to a hockey game (or not go), just so they can complain about the fact that my seats were close to the ice to rally support for their she-pig/mother-of-3 hate campaigns.

It would be more valuable for you to just focus on the game, ladies. Perhaps, you’ll learn that this season when I’m not around.

8. The Philadelphia Flyers feed on NHL Center Ice

It’s always the worst! Maybe it will be fixed when I get back.

7. Hockey wives and girlfriends

Particularly those of the rank-hag variety that are in the habit of illegally posting my personal shit online because they are insecure and have man hands and the face of a 40 year old football (only much, much bigger).

6. Liquid Gold

$13 for a domestic beer? Cripes!

5. Pre warm-up jitters.

Don’t ask me why, but before every game I have an internal freak out like I’m the one about to take to the ice in front of 20 000 people. I have not gone a single game without it.

4. The Springtime bandwagon rush.

You couldn’t be bothered in October, but now you’ll steal my tickets right from under me? Me no dink doh!

3. The “situation” in Phoenix.

Enough with the empty threats! When did Winnipeg get a second chance, let alone a million?

2. Twitter-Blog stalkers.

Among others.

1. Jock Sniffers.

“Friends” that will throw you under the bus if they think it means an NHL player might like them more if they were ever to meet.

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Farewell Tour II (Day 3): Game Day at the Shark Tank Avs@Sharks (Game 5)

July 20th, 2010

San Jose, CA I was up and AT THEM!! bright and early on game day and bound for NorCal in my piece of shit rental car. Oh, did I forget to tell you why my rental was a piece of shit? Well, for some reason the MP3 player was @#$%ing up every time I tried to sync my iPod. Basically, it would only play four songs on my playlist and that’s it – and not even four GOOD songs! Anyway, I ended up having to drive with my earphones in (there is nothing that pisses me off more than getting stuck on an endless stretch of highway with a bad music selection), which I’m pretty sure is illegal, but a cop told me to do it, so there you go.

The drive was pretty decent. I made a mental note of all the exit numbers along the I-5 that had obvious IN-N-OUT Burgers. A couple animal styles, a shake, and a gigantic Dr. Pepper is the ONLY correct way to do a California roadie. Oh baby! I think I’m gaining weight just thinking about all this North American fast foodie goodness!

I pulled up to my hotel as Limp Bizkit’s Nookie came on my iPod. I’m not sure why I had that on my Best Ever playlist, but I distinctly remember singing, “Like a chump. Heyyyy. Like a chump. Heyyyyy” as I pulled off the highway and approached the hotel. It felt a lot hotter in San Jose than it did in LA, that’s for damn sure. It was a lot sunnier and nicer, too.

By the time I was settled in I had all of three hours to kill before heading over to the rink. Once I discovered that there was a Pink Berry in town, my mission was clear. I didn’t know that Pink Berry was a chain, I just thought it was a crazy amazing frozen yogurt place in Manhattan. Now that I have made this discovery, I will definitely be adding Pink Berry to my list of places to track down on all future hockey outings. Anyway, I had a massive serving topped with my fave – sliced kiwi. You wouldn’t think kiwi would be a good frozen yogurt flavour, but it’s SHIT HOT!

Over at the Shark Tank, I was blown away by the intensity of the fans who proudly wore their ORANGE playoff shirts despite the fact that they were, well, ORANGE! I have never been in such a loud building in my entire career of hockey wanderings. I’m not sure if the playoff atmosphere had any impact on the fan quality I was witnessing that night. I asked a few people if the fans were “like this” all the time, and they told me that they were. Craziness! I love their cheers, and the chomping shark jaw that they make with their arms during penalties, even if it does resemble an alligator more so than a shark!

It was probably my most enjoyable hockey experience in years! I was glad I got to see the Sharks come away with a 3-2 series lead, mostly so it would make the environment at Pepsi Center a little more hostile during Game 6! Yeah, I’m selfish. Oh, and a word to the wise if you are heading to San Jose in the 2010-11 NHL season: when they say “garlic fries” they mean “GARLIC fries.” Whew! Glad I didn’t have a hot date after the game, I was fresh out of Tic Tacs.

After the game, I went straight back to the hotel and crashed for the night. As much as I wanted to explore NorCal, I was planning to spend my last day in California back in the south with a friend I hadn’t seen since my early November Anaheim Ducks adventure. Sadly, the HP Pavilion would go down in the books as the 23rd active NHL facility that I have visited for an NHL game. I would leave for Korea with seven rinks unexplored and un-ravaged by the hurricane that is the Psycho Lady (eight if you count the new facility in Pittsburgh). So, in case you didn’t know, when I make my glorious return to the NHL, I’m coming for you! That’s right. Tampa, Atlanta, Carolina, Minnesota, Vancouver, Calgary, and Edmonton, I’m coming for you. I just want you to know, the Psycho Lady is coming.

Roll the credits…

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A Life Without Hockey (part 2)

July 15th, 2010

It’s almost hard to believe that I’ve been in Korea for two months already. Being away from hockey for this long has been fairly difficult, but I don’t think it’s fair for me to belly ache about it just yet. After all, we are all in the same boat right now, and by that I mean offseason Hell. I was lucky enough to get to three first round playoff games before I left, as I have been slowly recounting on here, but I really feel for the fans of the teams that didn’t make the post season, and have been doing nothing but playing with themselves since mid April.

Unfortunately, I think this installment of A Life Without Hockey will be just as boring as the last. Month 2 in Korea was more of the same; adapting to my new life on the other side of the world, and taking some down time from the chaos of eight years worth of hockey misadventures. What’s worse is that my camera broke on my birthday, and so I wasn’t able to take any pictures to document this past month. I’ve also been mildly concerned about my health. My body seems to react differently here. Like, for example, the other night I skinned my knee viciously on my mattress….somehow ahem……and it took days for the wound to even begin to heal! And let’s not forget that in my two months overseas, I am down 22 lbs! However, I’m sure that the majority of my medical concerns are borderline paranoia. I think after I went through the bizarre Korean physical the day after I arrived here, I decided it was not in my best interest to ever need medical assistance while I’m living in this country.

I’m sure things will start to pick up in Month 3. For starters, I’m going to China in two weeks, so stay tuned for that. I was told that hockey was pretty popular in China because of its proximity to Russia. I’ll keep my eyes peeled for hockey related stuff while I’m there. Also, while I was on the train to Busan earlier this week (visiting the Chinese consulate to apply for my VISA), I discovered a train route that claims to link up with the Trans-Siberian Railway. So, now I’m pretty much obsessed with the idea of getting to at least one KHL game this hockey season. I really hope I can make it; I’d love to see what the fans are like in the rival league.

In Korea people often want to have English names, so if you come across a Korean kid who has not been named, then they will ask you to bestow upon them the greatest name you can think of. Instead of going the standard Sally route, I decided to do our sport a great service and give these impressionable Korean children hockey names. Here’s my list so far:

Boys:

1. Messier
2. Bauer
3. Scotty (Bowman)

Girls:

1. Darcy (Tucker)
2. Vezina

I know, those are some bad ass names! And you’re welcome, National Hockey League, I’m growing the game one Korean child at a time!

Another highlight, as indicated by my top photo, was getting my first care package from my parents. They were sending back my camera. Damn you, Best Buy, and your shady warranties! You’ll recall I bought that camera while I was in Dallas in April. Anyway, my mom decided to stuff the box with sections of the Toronto Star, and in the sports section was a picture of Brian Burke’s Draft Day face! Burkie’s various facial expressions are some of things I was missing most about not being able to watch this season’s NHL Entry Draft on TV. As you can see I was a little too excited to get it; you know how I love my Dilves! Plus it didn’t hurt that there were several boxes of Cadbury Thins included in my big package!

Well that pretty much sums up my second month in Korea. Only ten months to go until I am free to reenter NHL land, but one question still remains… Ten months down the road, will I still want to come back?

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Top 10 Tuesday: Things I’ll miss about the National Hockey League.

July 13th, 2010

Top 10 Tuesday is back! Well, maybe! Who knows how long I can keep this going while I’m in Korea. Anyway, I’ll keep this short. This week I thought I’d get back into the swing of things with a list of some of my favourite things around the National Hockey League that I will miss during my absence in 2010-11. Try and guess what next week’s list will be… Enjoy!

10. The frozen alcoholic drink wall at Joe Louis Arena

Jungle Juice, baby!

9. The Philadelphia Flyers dancing guy

The Flyers may not have a mascot, but they do have a big guy in an orange shirt!

8. The Air Canada Centre Platinum Club

You pay enough for the game; you deserve to be treated like royalty!

7. The national anthems at HSBC Arena (and the $5 CANADIAN beer)

Sorry Chi-town, but Buffalo salutes my homeland at EVERY home game. Picture: Post $5 Canadian beer.

6. Scotiabank Place poutine.

The arena is shit, but the food doesn’t have to be.

5. Don and Ron

I doubt I have to give an actual explanation for this one.

4. Hawks and Habs fans

The most attractive fan bases in the league period…the players aren’t so bad either…

3. Mellon Arena

It may be run down and the site of a drunken episode or two, but it’s still sad to think that none of us will get to see another Pens game at the Igloo.

2. Pierre McGuire’s sexually suggestive commentary

He’s a monster!

1. Getting around.

23 X’s on that map, and only 7 more to go. Until we meet again National Hockey League…

1a) Damien Cox

CRAP! Damien Cox was supposed to make this list! So I have to throw him the top spot subsection a). I love the guy! He makes reading the morning newspaper a little better each day!

Honourable Mention: Shit disturbing.

Couldn’t decide which pic to go with so I just gave it to Dougie hahahahaha!

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Probert’s death reminds us that they don’t build hockey players like they used to.

July 9th, 2010

Warning: You may find this entry inappropriate, but last time I checked you were searching for PsychoLadyHockey.com so…

Yes, it’s very sad business indeed that another member of the hockey community has fallen. Yadda, yadda, yadda [insert the other politically correct things that I’m supposed to say here]. But for the sake of time, I will not repeat the facts that you have likely read six or seven times by now regarding the colourful hockey career of Bob Probert. The untimely death of Bob Probert saddens me on an unusual level, and by that I mean not just because another hockey icon is no longer with us. His passing is a painful reminder that the legendary hockey beauty is becoming a thing of the past.

Probert had his ups and downs in his personal life, and had built up a name for himself as a bad ass both on and off the ice. Only a true beauty would be unable (for a period) to attend Canadian road games with his NHL club as a result of criminal indiscretions. Perhaps I’m of the old school mentality, but I miss the way hockey players used to be. You know, back when hockey players were the blue collar bunch of the professional sporting circuit (or at least still acted like it), and would get into all kinds of dirty scandals.

Of course I’m strictly referring to the types of scandals that one can be proud of. Not the scandals that our NHL “stars” get into today, which are more embarrassing than anything. I mean, come on! Really?! From ridiculous confrontations with taxi drivers in Buffalo to posing naked on a webcam in Toronto, today’s hockey players are nothing more than spoiled brats with internships at Vogue, and a relationship history of breast implants and sloppy seconds. It seems to me that hockey players today are more concerned with shopping, listening to girly music, and trying to be the hockey equivalent of David Beckham. And let me say this in a language that even today’s hockey star can understand, and by that I mean Paris Hilton speak, “That is so not hot!” (She says that right? Or something like that??)

Bring back the messy hockey vets that served jail time, and fought to be the last man standing without the safety of a bucket. Bring back the tough guys that proved night after night that they were working hard for the money. Down with the weakling forwards that get sidelined every season, and have to resort to dating pig-skanks and/or bragging about orgies on radio shows to try to prove to the world that they know how to play hockey. So pathetic! Where are the Paul Newmans (in Slap Shot) of the league? I think the game would benefit greatly if these players had a couple zeros knocked off of their salaries. But that’s just MY opinion. The only thing better than a nice ass is a bad ass!

Bob Probert
June 5 1965 – July 5 2010
NHL Beauty.

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Farewell Tour II (Day 2): Game Day in Los Angeles Canucks@Kings (Game 4)

July 8th, 2010


Los Angeles, CA These Farewell Tour posts are becoming the bane of my existence. I really love doing road blogs, but only when they are in a timely fashion. I have many fond memories of sitting in bed in various hotel rooms across the League and blogging about my daily adventures. However, when you’re on a tight schedule and traveling a lot, you tend to fall behind with keeping people abreast of what is going on with your life. And soon enough moving to Korea will keep you from telling the world what you did in California for nearly 3 months! The problem is that the memories aren’t as fresh as they were back in Cali, and I’m sure, as far as the readers are concerned, having to wait 3 months for the details of an uneventful trip is unlikely to be worth the wait. Oh well! They can’t all be trips to Nashville.

Think, Katrina, think! What happened during Game 4 of the first round match up between Vancouver and LA?!! Hmm… Well, if I recall correctly I started the day off with a little IN-N-OUT Burger. Well, obviously! I can go one day without it, but definitely not two if I’m in IN-N-OUT country. After my tummy was satisfied, I was off for a massage in Santa Monica. It was thoroughly satisfying. Blyn had the hook ups! There was a cute “surfer” boy there, too. But as I racked my brain to think of the perfect plan of attack, I suddenly remembered that I was in Los Angeles and that this tanned beach man-bunny was unlikely to want anything to do with me unless I was 20 lbs underweight and glowing orange. What an asshole!

Prior to the game, I thought a nice relaxing cruise along PCH (Pacific Coast Highway for those of you not familiar with my November trip to Cali) would be fun. I was also on the lookout for a birthday gift for mother. Yes, once again this season, I was away on a hockey trip during her birthday. After my nice and blissful afternoon, I had no time to clean up before puck drop at Staples Center. Try to picture a gross, blissed out Canadian stumbling around with flat hair (yeah…I somehow got massage oil in my hair), which was great considering I made an unexpected cameo on Kings Cast again that night. I refuse to watch the episode out of fear of discovering what I actually looked like. I’m sure it wasn’t pretty. However, I did get hit on while roaming around on the concourse, but the guy thought my Twitter blue shirt was green, so, you know, only the blind were appreciating me that night.

Game 4 versus the Canucks was by far one of the greatest hockey games I had seen in a long time. It was a high energy game, and the Vancouver fans had come out in droves! I was proud to be Canadian…well…sort of…I can’t really identify with that whole “WESTERN” Canada bit. The Kings fans were going crazy, too. They were probably the loudest fans I had come across since my January trip to The Madhouse in Chicago. Relax, San Jose! I hadn’t been to the Shark Tank yet. Speaking of fans, I was lucky enough to be sitting next to a very knowledgeable sports fan from LA who gave me the most valuable tip anyone has ever given me. He told me about ATDHE.net a live sports streaming website that pretty much saved my life in Korea during the 2010 Stanley Cup run! Thanks, buddy.

Waiting for my rental car after the game, some creepy guys kept asking to go home with me. What was this?! Did they build an institute for the blind within walking distance from Staples Center? Aim high, guys. Go for the girl that looks like she’s been hit by a bus. Anyway, once I was back in the safety of my hotel room (alone), it was time to hit the sheets. I had to be up early the next day to burn rubber Northbound for San Jose and Game 5 of the Sharks/Avalanche series. Luckily, in Colorado the night before, the series was evened to 2 games a piece, and the Psycho Lady in me decided to do something crazy. Upon discovering that Game 6 was scheduled to take place in Denver at the same time that I had a coincidental 13 hour layover in the Mile High City, I was on the Avs ticket site with credit card in hand.

Top Photo: The picture I took of Staples Center did not turn out (naturally) because, like I said, I took it. So, here’s the one I stole from Kings Cast! :D

Roll the credits…

My friend says this song reminds her of my NHL road trips…explain that one to me…

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Farewell Tour II (Day 1): My Life Up in the Air

July 2nd, 2010

Los Angeles, CA Alright, I’ve had a little fun with my Flyers and Bissonnette posts, so let’s get back to the Farewell Tour. After my return from Texas, I knew there was still a chance that I would be seeing some NHL hockey. I knew this because, for Christmas, my aunt gave me a North American flight as my gift, and I hadn’t cashed it in yet. In order to be as efficient as possible, and by that I mean use the flight to go to an arena that I hadn’t been to yet, I had two options. The first was to do the Southeast Division thing and try to check Tampa, Atlanta, and Carolina off my list before the end of the regular season. But there was what; one week left in the regular season? No thanks. I decided, instead, to gamble on the chance that some unchartered arenas would be hosting some playoff hockey in the post. By the time all was said and done, there were only three teams in the postseason that I hadn’t seen play on home ice: Vancouver, LA, and San Jose. I decided to go for the 2 for 1 special, and, so, I was off to California.

April 20th I was back at the airport and doing the thing that I loved most of all. Due to all the travelling that I have done for hockey in my life, I knew that I’d never be happy in what I was doing professionally unless I was flying from city to city on a weekly basis at the very least. I’m addicted to it. I love the feeling of blowing through a hockey town with that love ‘em and leave ‘em kind of attitude. I meet so many great people along the way, but I don’t have to be accountable to them. It’s the best of both worlds if you ask me, or at least if you asked me before I boarded my flight to LAX.

The best part about travelling with Air Canada is definitely the top notch movie selection. While I was browsing the titles in the New Releases section, the newest(?) George Clooney movie caught my eye. I had heard that Up in the Air was supposed to be good, Oscar nominated and all that glittery crap, so I decided to give it a go even though a romantic anything was the last thing I wanted to see.

But I have to say the movie spoke to me. It was like I was watching my life play out on the screen, and the message of the film was not lost on me. You might say that I had a bit of wake up call. For the last eight years of my life, experience was what was most important to me. I was always chasing that next great story. Truthfully, my life is full of a lot of drama and strange events. Some have even referred to me as the female equivalent of the Dos Equis guy. However, what dawned on me after watching this movie was that no matter how interesting a person is or how great their story is to tell, their greatness is irrelevant if they don’t have someone who will listen to their legends. What will I do when people stop reading this site? When my story becomes tedious and annoying, and people just lose interest? (It already has). The last thing I want to become is some 75 year old man sitting around the bar with a beer (not always) in hand, who tries desperately to intrigue hot 25 year olds into sleeping with him.

Perhaps this lesson came too late. I was leaving for Korea in only a matter of weeks trying to escape from the only people and lifestyle I knew. There was no going back now. But I have to admit that I’ve changed since I’ve been here. I’ve settled down a lot (is this what they call being dick whipped?) and my restlessness is no longer an authentic urge, but more like a mere recollection of a distant bad habit. What’s happening to me? I even find myself enjoying the odd chick flick (mostly because they are in English, but still!)I need to snap out of it!

Anyway, by the time my plane touched down in Los Angeles for the third time in the previous twelve months, I was a little shaken and even lost the will to track down an IN-N-OUT Burger that day. I did, however, make it out to Hermosa Beach that night to meet up with Blyn (perhaps you remember her from Mother Pucker’s Hotties of Hockey challenge) for drinks. I had a mere two ciders that night, and yet sometime in the wee hours of the morning, I was awoken from my slumber, and puking my guts out. A perfect start to my final NHL roadie.

Top Photo: Wearing the wacky tobaccy lei that they were handing out at the bar in Hermosa Beach *rolls eyes.*

Roll the credits…

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